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  1. Deeprotsorcerer

    How accurate is the Urban Dictionary definition of your MC's name?

    It just means they'll grow into it, right? Right?
  2. Deeprotsorcerer

    How accurate is the Urban Dictionary definition of your MC's name?

    https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=olive This... is actually spot on for my hetero twink sheepie.
  3. Deeprotsorcerer

    Magical Torture Methods

    This thread is ancient, @Alfir . But on topic, using healing magic to make someone's body undergo rapid mutations/cancerous growth would be a horrible torture method that'd break the strongest of peoples. There's just something incredibly wrong about seeing your form twisted beyond...
  4. Deeprotsorcerer

    First Chapter Feedback

    Hi, hi! I have returned, I promised I would, though I am very late. I understand that it may be a stylistic choice, but I’d gently consider that you refine your approach somehow or rethink it. When you do things like this: and It creates unnecessary distance between characters and actions...
  5. Deeprotsorcerer

    Name for an adventurers guild

    "The Coal Fish" works perfectly in my opinion, especially since its business front is a tavern (The Salty Spitoon, Ye Olde Fighting Cocks). You've also enticed me with your monster girl MC, expect a visit...
  6. Deeprotsorcerer

    Action(ish) Genre Feedback/Review Exchange (1st few chapters)

    I'm currently burning through my feedback obligations as I speak, so it may take a bit to get to you, but I want to get to you. I enjoy just about every genre save for Westerns (and even then, I'll read a good one). My own story is an nsfw litRPG with action aspects that's extremely light on the...
  7. Deeprotsorcerer

    Favorite world aesthetics and why?

    It's the 2017 Will Smith Film I believe. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5519340/ I agree, urban fantasy is a neat aesthetic, but Bright itself would have fared much better as a show series than a movie, it moves too fast, and the execution suffered for it.
  8. Deeprotsorcerer

    Writing How to write an skill-retarded combatant?

    There are simply too many aspects of what a skilled fighter does vs an unskilled one to provide a fix-all here buuuuuut. You could have James oversell his attacks, big windwups and lots of overcommitment. Where a boxer would throw a jab, James would throw a haymaker, that kind of stuff. He'd...
  9. Deeprotsorcerer

    I Suck at Writing Synopsis

    Look at a bunch of old epic voice guy trailers. No seriously. You'll want the synopsis to be entertaining itself with a bunch of fireworks and ribbons that scream HEY COME CLOSER THERE'S FUN HERE, much in the same way that we smut writers will sometimes put scantily clad pieces of eye candy...
  10. Deeprotsorcerer

    Improve characterization by studying communication.

    You would lewd the Ur-Quan? Kinky
  11. Deeprotsorcerer

    I judge people who . . .

    I judge people who ask for the honest opinions of their audience, only to lash out when they get a whiff of negativity. Were you so confident in your prowess that you'd open yourself up to the truth and expect sugar and rainbows? Please. People dump on the "greats" like Steven King all. The...
  12. Deeprotsorcerer

    Why NTR?

    As a species, we've been doing backwards, contemptible, dark "unnatural", stuff since before the beginning of history, comes with being intelligent enough to go against our biological programming. I'd say we're equally as nuts as we've always been, it's just getting publicized more, and our...
  13. Deeprotsorcerer

    The Last to Comment Wins

    You fight like a dairy farmer!
  14. Deeprotsorcerer

    Asking for synopsis feedback

    I... understand, but it took me a while. And I took French in highschool (but US language education is very, very, very bad.)
  15. Deeprotsorcerer

    Why NTR?

    I too, enjoy MILFs. They are very soft to hug, and in general, super affectionate (or maybe I'm just selective?). I mean, sure sex is nice, but have you ever just cuddled with someone 10 years older than you for an hour?
  16. Deeprotsorcerer

    Asking for synopsis feedback

    Aye, he's a boy. I wanted something slightly androgenous and cute because he's a diminutive sheep daemon. Also, I see where you're coming from, cultural differences muddy up the lines between feminine and masculine sounds.
  17. Deeprotsorcerer

    Asking for synopsis feedback

    Meh, it's a masculine Welsh name. It checks out for me. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cecil_(given_name) Then again, I named my protagonist Olive...
  18. Deeprotsorcerer

    Asking for synopsis feedback

    Ya did it again! The issue here isn't that the sentence isn't grammatically correct (it is correct save for the need for a comma after nobility). It's that when paired with the rest of the paragraph it comes out as choppy and overly laconic because you've used an entire fullstop on a very...
  19. Deeprotsorcerer

    Why NTR?

    I understand the will to reject overly PC stuff, really I do, but... Eh. When I was a kid playing Phantasy Star Online 2 with unofficial translation buddies (I piggybacked and did no work to advance the project at all, like most people on Ship 2) I got pulled aside by a Japanese girl (or at...
  20. Deeprotsorcerer

    Why NTR?

    Eeeehhh, be careful about using the three letter abbreviation for Japanese people, it's considered a slur on par with the N word (particularly among the military, it's WW2 slang) in some circles. But back on topic, I do think you are on to something here, but it's not always driven by a feeling...
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