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Just to clarify... I'm not mad at you. You're one of three writers I gave feedback to yesterday on the same day. The post is generally a message to remind us of the importance of mutual respect as fellow writers, readers, and human beings. :blob_melt:

That's only possible if the reader recognizes the characters after reading a few chapters (especially the character introductions). But for readers who happen to be passing through that chapter, even a unique voice, no matter how authentic, is difficult to distinguish when multiple characters...

The use of the "said" tag in dialogue adopts a telling approach, emphasizing clarity. Meanwhile, the "action" tag uses a showing approach, emphasizing experience. You might criticize the action tag for being too convoluted, but discourse truly transcends text. Body language is nearly...

That's a French style of dialogue. I suspect the OP is French or influenced by French culture. :blob_melt:

I feel sorry for the people of Switzerland, Uzbekistan and other landlocked countries. :blob_melt:

Well, I haven't read it... just read the review. I think WH40K is a good fit for this thread. I mean, what do readers get from a completely nihilistic universe? There's not even peace after death. As a game, WH40K might be fun to play. As a story, readers might feel bad after closing the book...

Dude... I don't want to argue with you about POV. This is my final answer in this thread. If you want the narrator to be the MC, then it would be more relevant to use the first POV. In the limited third POV, the narrator functions more as a camera following the MC. If you want a deeper POV...

The problem isn't your MC's character, but how the MC's characterization is narrated. You can narrate a calm MC without the narrator needing to dictate him.

Dude... you've apparently never dealt with a religious fanatic before. Give it a try!

When you insert Akuma's routine info dump in the middle of the action, it causes a shift in POV from a limited third POV to an omniscient POV because the narrator can switch from past events to the present in a single narrative. In an omniscient POV, the narrator is like a god in the story...

Do you have any confusion?

After reading five chapters, I stopped. Here are my general impressions of your narrative based on my reading experience: Your story has a fairly interesting idea about a character struggling against his fate, torn between his identity as a demon and his determination to become a hero...