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The more you think. The more your LOGIC will conflict with your ILLOGICAL (uncontrolled) part. So its why i said : DONT THINK.

Nononono i totally get it. Your IQ logical part of your brain thinks : why am i like that? why do i think this kind of stupidity? Its normal. Well not really. But more like : its NOT your fault. Its just the bs 90% uncontrollable subconscious part of brain (cough lucy movie)

everyone dislike but i guess from y wording, its "a big dislike" =/ Anyway its "inevitable" and i bet your brain keep reminding you of "incoming operation" especially as its something you hate. +"i wish i didnt need to do this" I bet my words, has only 50% efficiency bc mind is muddled. or...

yep i think i can picture your thinking. (happened to me too, sometimes) (and i bet there is a medical term for it too) just "DONT. THINK" or go brainrot mode.

try new stuff. or click the website i found. Full of GOLDEN ERA OLD CNs ERA ! After reading a novel, then operation come. And your brain is SOOOOO occupied by the books, you will think : "goddamn i cant die or i hope it finish soon so i can read back soon" (and the more brain focus on pain, the...

The sole flaw that isnt a flaw, is that people would joke (amicably) "Elijah do you remember the time you were scared and wrote a last will posts?" and you will blush. But for "current you" its far more useful than "future suffering, that is just cringiness" ps : mental also help for recovery...

After you wrote a bunch of stuff here in a last-will kinda version. You will feel far more "light hearted" and less "stressed" mostly bc i guess, you prepared yourself. And the brain understand subconsciously : I did everything i could. (like preparation for marathon)

At worst. Just talk in profile posts (not just this one) and tell your whole life, like some kind of monologue or last-letter in case you die. (forgot the word for it. oh, last will? i think) Releashing what is weighing on your heart could help you become calmer. or basically, its like telling...

Distracting yourself = running. Like trauma or phobia. And well, as you are a person knowledgeable (especially more on health), you already know that to cure them = confront them. welp..... same thing.

The unknown = fear. Embrace it. Acknowledge it. Just like the death of close one. tldr: inevitability

Heck, i dont know, try finding a old but enjoyable videogame you played and do it now. At worse, open minesweeper, or tetris, or the space-themed ball game, that windows systems have(had?).

So, dont listen to joe hisaishi, but more "happy songs".

vent or do yoga

https://funs.me/

https://forum.scribblehub.com/profile-posts/60124/

Im a trash can that is full of good stuff. Useful for society and helping others. (but bad reputation/image) Sounds quite a correct analogy to be honest. :unsure: ?:meowsip: