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People someone burning stuff in neighborhood, or someone cleaning its sewer thing. Or the garbage truck passing near.

Also fk this new trend of "oh wow the bad guy isnt a bad guy, he is just a tsun/bad-past" Like, all delinquent looking dude is somehow "good" Its a point that CNs are superior on it. Bad guy is a bad guy. Fk that and kill him. A bad guy that killed, raped, dozens of families over the course of...

True that. Hence the craving to see a MC, just chin punch this kind of people. ps : there is a mesugaki "retribution" manga, but sadly, the author didnt catch the fact that drawing in the pov of the mesugaki = BAD (just like showing pov of tortured villain too long in a justice-punishment...

tldr : Its a milder but as annoying "shittygaki" cliche. And think bc i grew up with the logic of : Be kind to others is another reason i dislike that.

Looking at gigi is like looking at mirror. Its speechlessly so similar that its funny and facepalming. And not envious. Bc im smart !!! (/smut-joking-tone)

If you can check my history while while ago, you can see how happy i was. But recent times im far more ...........cough. Right now i pulled out my inside-kind happy (well, not really happy as you are suffering) self, bc you are important and close. I would have stayed like that if not for bunch...

but sadly, environment is not the same. If for her its fine to yap, or do jokes, or do horny stuff (or telling her traumas or exposing her low-energy depressed self). I cant. Bc im not surrounded by JP people that are kind educated. I mean, sure you and some others are, but some arent.

To be honest, if anyone want to see a glimpse of what im like, im like Gigi Murin of Hololive. She yapyap a lot. Even a recent video of it. (collab with kronii)

or do it right now : listen to your breathing with mouth. (just did it, and welp its one relaxing point of yoga) Heck i could do it together with you if you want XD ps : sorry for yapyap spam >_<

also now small suggestion, dont listen to music and be in silence, and gaze in emptiness, imagine your young 5y/o self that did it in boredom. heck open your mouth too to relax completely if needed, while saliva run down. (yes again its crazy thing but sometimes crazy solutions works)

Anyway, write, speak, tell anecdotes, reminisces of stuff, read, sing, bathe, whatever. = relax. (despite this advice being utterly annoying to hear from others when you are the one suffering and not others and feel they cant understand your pain, cough tangent rant) Its just the stupid...

Yep i know. Just figure of speech. And i knew, with 99% probability you werent a smoker. :blob_hide: (y)

so yeah. Pretty sure your calm self Elijah would think in the future : "its so ez and dumb to solve but couldnt do it" + "but it sure hurted at that time" like past me. Bc its just that the stress is blurring your logic. And you will laugh as just a wry smile memory as you know its not your...

bonus : your (subconscious) brain is overloading and keep spinning and self-burning. like this video i saw of a dude having its car towed and try to launch it, but it turns in the air -> smoke.

anyway, to recap my words, dont try to fight or run from it. bc its not your fault, but some bs braincells, that humans somehow cant discard during their millions of evolution. and clearing head is the best way. if reading works do it. (like you said) if doing a angel-pose (snow) on the dirty...

tldr: find the best way so your body is totally utterly relaxed heck make yourself nude, or go sit in a corner of the wall, gaze the sky, whatever. or like i said, prawl your body on the ground. or do gendo pose. or sit on toilet. ah ! or sit in bath. heck wear your clothes on while bathing if...

Dont worry. calm yourself, i ALSO experienced this shitty thing. dont try to take deep breathes but more like : try to become a pool of fluid, or even, just put your body totally on the ground (even if dirty) just do whatever, so your body is totally relaxed.

Part 3 lore of Tsuru. I got phobia of heights. My IQ brain KNOW there is stuff to block falling. Heck there are places with full glasses and stuff. But my legs. TREMBLE. THIS. when young i didnt understand, but what you/I should learn from this, is that the shitty brain is sometimes full of...