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Thank for your feedback. Caelan is indeed a little girl (not a reincarnated immortal). I asked her age to gauge how accurately Caelan's mental state was based on the mental state of a child organically.

Feedback for A Little Daughter Character Well, I rewrote one of my chapters with the first POV from a little girl's perspective. Here is the result: My questions are: How old do you think Caelan El Rose is (actual age)? How is Caelan El Rose's character in this chapter? How adorable do you...

Narrating a child's first POV is one of the most difficult challenges in writting. Why? Because you need to "lower your intelligence" to the child's level. You can't use literary prose to narrate characters, worldbuilding, and plot. You need to lower your language to be simple and...

I intended to kill him off as an NPC. He was originally designed to be an annoying NPC. But unintentionally, his character development happened organically. His redemption sub-arc even took up over 10 chapters. That's a lot for just a supporting character. For comparison, Volume 1 only had 24...

I originally planned to portray the veteran knight commander Feroux as a tragic antihero martyr who atones for his past sins through self-sacrifice against the Shadowmist invasion (who are victims of the past who failed to be saved and now seek revenge). I depicted Feroux facing various dark...

Well, this chapter actually describes the battle adequately, but perhaps lacks tension. It's worth noting that I'm not a fan of the fanfic you used as a reference for this chapter, so my opinion is limited to the assumptions of a non-fanfic causal reader. In this chapter, you attempt to...

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Sorry, we do have an experienced editor here, she is @LeilaniOtter But maybe you are half right, only a few editors are willing to volunteer their services... and she is the exception among exceptions, at least as far as I know.

The scene visualization is still rough and blurry. Readers might be confused about where your character is, who they're with, and where their position is. Try dividing the scene into blocks, such as a scene in the stands, a scene at the ticket counter, a scene in the break room, etc. Provide...

Rough transition, the character feels like they teleported from the gate to the arena because there is no kinetic movement showing from the gate to the arena. It would take a paragraph of transition about the character's movement from the gate mouth to the arena. For example:

There are actually many criticisms I could make. But now I disike to burden authors with too many demands. I prefer to suggest the most crucial point that will have the greatest impact on your narrative.

Dude... after reading chapter 1 once, I noticed your narrative has a sudden POV shift problem that makes it prone to head hopping. Your narrative mixes a limited third POV (through Aegis) and an omniscient third POV that tries to explain the environmental conditions (the colossium?). As a...

I'm not sure, dude. The reader drop rate is incredibly high. Plus, the protagonist is very passive at the beginning (just sleeping). That's the kind of slow burn that causal readers tend to avoid.

Well, I completely understand position of my fiction.

It's indeed difficult to balance engagement on RR and SH. Generally, fiction that's popular on SH isn't necessarily popular on RR, and vice versa. These two platforms have different audience characteristics. RR is more masculine, while SH is more feminine. I've only encountered a few fictions...

This guideline is intended to indicate age-specific content ratings, not to require you to label every R18 content as explicitly sexual. Gore, sensitive content, and sexual content are indeed R18. But not every R18-rated fiction contains sexual content. This tag would be more relevant if you...

You should use content warning tags more wisely. If your fiction doesn't contain explicit sexual scenes, there's no need to include a sexual content warning. Readers could misunderstand.

https://forum.scribblehub.com/threads/mutual-reviews-for-web-novel-authors.27108/