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Thank you all for answering. This helps.

Hellow people. My first chapter is 3.3k words long, and I'm concerned it doesn't work because the "hook" is pretty much at the end. What rules of thumb do you follow for opening chapters?

Hello, fellow writing enthusiasts! I would really appreciate some feedback on the beginning of my novel. Every type of feedback is appreciated. Thank you in advance. As I haven't created a novel yet, I'll just drop it right here.

I only skimmed through the first chapter, because I'm not really into this stuff. The scene has a strong atmosphere, and the transition from dream to reality at the end is well-executed. The intimacy is vivid and easy to visualize, and the possessive line adds a darker edge that sets up the...

I read about half of Chapter 1 (I also skimmed the prologue but stopped after a few lines), and you already seem aware of some of the main issues: tense shifts and a few “constructed”/unnatural phrasing choices. One big thing that stood out to me, though: the narration leans heavily on telling...

Hey @Eldoria, thanks a lot for taking the time to write this up. This is the kind of feedback that genuinely helps. I’m going to apply it right away. Thanks again!

Hey! I’d love some honest feedback on this opening scene. I’m mostly trying to improve immersion and pacing. Does it hook you, do the characters feel real, and is anything confusing or awkward? Feel free to be blunt. ---- Levin faced his sister, who stood in front of him. He bit his lower lip...

Chapter 2 was okay overall. I was a little confused at first because of the POV shift, but it doesn’t take long to get oriented. One thing that threw me off: the boy’s body “fails” him during the escape, but later John seems able to run in that same body. Maybe I missed a detail, but it read as...

Hey again! To be clear: I read the prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and Chapter 19. Quick note before I start: I’m a beginner myself, so feel free to take this with some skepticism, it’s just one reader’s reaction. Regarding the first three chapters: Honestly, the first three chapters...

Hey! Where can I read the story? Am I missing something? Or are we suposed to comment on the premise?

Appreciate it! This helps more than you think ?

Hi everyone! I’m currently working on improving my writing, especially immersion and “show vs. tell." I’ve been told my prose can feel a bit too “told” and not immersive enough, so I’d love feedback with that focus in mind. Any notes on what pulls you in (or breaks immersion) would be really...

Thank you very much. This helps a lot!

Hey, I've read the first chapter briefly and there are a lot of things you have to work on. First of all you've got big energy and a clear intention, with a solid skeleton. 1.) Your biggest problem is sentence control and readability. A lot of your opening paragraphs are run-on sentences with...

Chapter 1: Don't Blink The kicks that had been raining down on Levin only moments ago began to lose their weight. The men’s screams grew duller, until they faded out completely. When he opened his eyes, there was only darkness. His hand twitched as he tried to push himself up—but that...

I’m also a newer writer, so take this with a grain of salt — but right now this reads more like a teaser/synopsis than a fully lived-in scene. The ideas are cool, but I had trouble visualizing the choreography and where everyone is positioned. A bit more grounding in the environment would help a...

Hahahha. I'll definetily check out Strunk and White. Thank you for your time.

As you might have noticed, I'm not very experienced. I'd love to know, where you saw the traces of AI. And should I ask AI for feedback? Sometimes I'm happy with a scene, but AI tells me its bad.

It is. I'm not a native speaker so I write the draft in my native language and then translate it, to some extent at least. I'm working on my english writing. (I accidentally clicked reply twice, dont know how to undo it :))

Thanks for your help!