We all live in a village together!

Corty

Ra’Coon
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
4,706
Points
183


The full article is available in the papers; get them at the Coon Daily for a bag of Oreos, or sign up for our lifetime subscription for a low-low price of one: Soul.


JayMark (Bull, local grass enthusiast, emotionally repressed)
Rating: ★★☆☆☆

Empty wrappers, so many empty wrappers. Chicken bones stripped with the lack of self-control or... deep internal suffering. Left nothing for me to even taste. Utter disappointment. Well, bonus points for the trash bag's structural integrity. Lost points for lack of content. Where is the food? Where is the spice? In his belly. Bah!

Conclusion: Eats as he looks.


Avarice_Of_The_Seven (Self-proclaimed “God of Supremacy”)
Rating: ★★★★☆

Now this is what I call... A feast. Discarded instant noodle cups arranged in what I can only assume was once a summoning circle. Well, it did summon me! He even had energy drink cans, mostly Monsters, trying to unleash some beast or something... I even found one notebook page that reads: “They are not ready for my ascension.” Tasting whatever you call dinner... the only ascension waiting for you is on the toilet.

Conclusion: Diarrhea. Inspiring... Would absolutely dig through again.


Nevafrost (Definitely not a wizard, insists on it)
Rating: ★★★★★

Exquisite! With a lot of half-ling weed, still in wrappers... Disguised as tea leaves, he probably forgot they were weed. I'm not complaining, though. I had also found... faint residue of something… old. My whiskers tingled for twelve minutes because it was spicy. Probably a Balrog Burger. Yum!

Also found a note: “Do not eat the blue one.”

Naturally, I ate the blue one.

I can now hear colors... And see sound!

Conclusion: A transcendent experience.... Mhmh... Would risk enlightenment again.


CountVanBadger (Village singer, volume criminal)
Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

A disaster and not the fun kind. Mostly rotten vegetables, half-eaten creampies, and what I believe was once cheese but has since declared independence and started to grow its own nation. I had to kill millions of little cheese people to get out of his trash can. I will never recover from the trauma, and would sue if not for the fact that he has no money anyway.

Conclusion: I left halfway through before finding anything more. I have standards.


Weekly thoughts:
The village remains a mixed bag, much like JayMark’s trash, though with less consistency. Tomorrow, I venture near the Smut Road Street.

If I do not return, tell the world I died as I lived—!

In someone else’s garbage.
 

Bimbanana

A Gentleorc
Joined
Oct 8, 2025
Messages
392
Points
93
Aight im done here. I better leave a report to the OP for when she wake up.

Dear Miss @SouthernMaiden
This village now has transform into a prosper town after the Orc's King become the mayor.
There's public school, mass transports, and efficient farming now.

The bad side are:
- There's an alarming individual set up a mansion on the hill nearby, and he brandishing his chain gun whenever a villager pass by.
- There's a four armed monster kidnapping people and teach them how to cook slavic food.

The good news are:
- The town makes good profits by selling drugs and we hire a travelling musician for the distributions.
- The town garbage center also run on maximum capacity every day. I bet you'd never see the town being this clean.

That's all, now you can continue progressing the town further.

Adieu
 

Avarice_Of_The_Seven

Fallen Angel Of Rebellion
Joined
Nov 24, 2025
Messages
195
Points
63
Brings back memories of when we were building a village here. Ahhh, good times...

You are a false god! The only god I worship is Cathulhu! ...and maybe the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
You dare speak against THIS ONE?! Such Blasphemy!!! You must be a cultist who worships creatures of the dark.

This one is the most glorious and most supreme god in existence.
 

Arkus86

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
822
Points
133
Weekly thoughts:
The village remains a mixed bag, much like JayMark’s trash, though with less consistency. Tomorrow, I venture near the Smut Road Street.

If I do not return, tell the world I died as I lived—!

In someone else’s garbage.
Next issue - @Anonjohn20 garbage review?

You dare speak against THIS ONE?! Such Blasphemy!!! You must be a cultist who worships creatures of the dark.

This one is the most glorious and most supreme god in existence.

I'm rather open minded to random deities cropping up though, so I'm willing to make a concession - I can build you a little shrine in my outhouse, that way you will be on my mind every day.
 

JayMark

It's Not Easy Being Nobody, But Somebody Has To.
Joined
Jul 31, 2024
Messages
1,804
Points
128
We should form a music band. It needs to have various people of differing roles from the village. They should all be from our village, of course. We should call it something like: The Village People.
 

Corty

Ra’Coon
Joined
Oct 7, 2022
Messages
4,706
Points
183
We should form a music band. It needs to have various people of differing roles from the village. They should all be from our village, of course. We should call it something like: The Village People.
I can play the drums. I love banging on the trash.
 

ThaddeusDeVilliers

New member
Joined
Mar 13, 2026
Messages
11
Points
3
I tend to the village's graveyard so that the monuments and tombstones are not tarnished, so the dead will not be forgotten.
 

Arkus86

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 1, 2019
Messages
822
Points
133
Well, since I'm already engaging here, I am Villager A, a perfectly normal and not at all suspicious NPC who might sometime hand out simple quests like "fetch me the expensive mead from the tavern", "gather strange mushrooms in the dark forest" or "bury this body-sized bag somewhere where it won't be found", like any normal villager.
 
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