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OtherSlater

I Play Marvel Rivals
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Hi, posting Ultraviolence here, and I don't got too much feedback from it so far. Would love to see more! If you want.

 

Macha

Not a member
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Feb 6, 2021
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My feedback is don't use AI. Let's start at the synopsis. This isn't U. This isn't V. This isn't W. This is W. How it's Y. This is Z.

See the problem here?

And the story itself isn't any better. Let's look at the prologue.

A Cold October night.
The kind of rain that’s constant and never ends. The kind of cold you won’t see in the winter but you know summer is long gone.

The design is very LLM.

@AliceMoonvale @Eldoria @L1aei @Tempokai

We got another clanker here.
 

AliceMoonvale

Staff-assisted member
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My feedback is don't use AI. Let's start at the synopsis. This isn't U. This isn't V. This isn't W. This is W. How it's Y. This is Z.

See the problem here?

And the story itself isn't any better. Let's look at the prologue.





The design is very LLM.

@AliceMoonvale @Eldoria @L1aei @Tempokai

We got another clanker here.
Ahhh is that why they don't like people shitting on ai writers?

I smell,
the silly.
 

Eldoria

Well-known member
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My feedback is don't use AI. Let's start at the synopsis. This isn't U. This isn't V. This isn't W. This is W. How it's Y. This is Z.

See the problem here?

And the story itself isn't any better. Let's look at the prologue.
I doubt she's using LLM, considering she just yesterday instructed niche authors (those who write for fun and don't get paid) to pay cover artists. If she's using LLM, she'd be betraying her anti-AI principles.

The only reason I haven't bothered reviewing her fiction is simply because it's not my cup of tea (I'm very picky about genre and content).
 

AliceMoonvale

Staff-assisted member
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It's at least ai assisted. I went through the prologue and first chapter myself and spotted quite a handful of ai-coded sentences.
But I found plenty of chunky 'n clunky paragraphs with a lot of human error.
 

OtherSlater

I Play Marvel Rivals
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Jan 5, 2022
Messages
269
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My feedback is don't use AI. Let's start at the synopsis. This isn't U. This isn't V. This isn't W. This is W. How it's Y. This is Z.

See the problem here?

And the story itself isn't any better. Let's look at the prologue.
You just saying my synopsis is not that popping isn't proof I use AI? I can send you the google doc. This quite a personal story to me, Idk what made you feel the need to randomly accuse me of things with no proof.
If this is true, thats a lethal dose of irony right there.
You good, bro? It seems like you're following me. That's odd.
It's at least ai assisted. I went through the prologue and first chapter myself and spotted quite a handful of ai-coded sentences.
But I found plenty of chunky 'n clunky paragraphs with a lot of human error.
I just want proof. I mean fine don't like me I really don't care about you loving AI art so much, but judge my work on its own merit. I worked damn hard at my craft.
 

Prince_Azmiran_Myrian

🐉Religious zealot exhorting Dragons for Jesus🐉
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You just saying my synopsis is not that popping isn't proof I use AI? I can send you the google doc. This quite a personal story to me, Idk what made you feel the need to randomly accuse me of things with no proof.
The forums have been getting a lot of AI stories asking for feedback recently. Probably just assumed you were another one.
 

Macha

Not a member
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888
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The forums have been getting a lot of AI stories asking for feedback recently. Probably just assumed you were another one.
That's cool, but what evidence is "Oh you formatted it weird, AI!"
There is nothing wrong with using AI-assistance here and there. If you use it that's fine. But of course I can be wrong and you don't use AI. You just write like one. Humans make mistakes.

In that case, my feedback is to read more stories not written with AI assistance so your work won't be influenced by AIsm. Have a nice day.
 

AliceMoonvale

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If you want evidence, I obviously can't provide anything concrete. With how ai technology is these days, there's no sure-fire way to prove anything you or anyone else writes is ai. However, your writing comes across that way. A lot.

Exhibit A: the Synopsis. As @Macha mentioned, it's indeed clanky sounding.
This isn’t a story about vigilantism. This isn’t a story about a disillusioned war veteran finding his way. This isn’t a story about an urban jungle at the start of a new decade. This is a story about violence. How it’s in our nature. Institutions you were told to trust failing people, and their violent reactions to realizing that help was never meant to come. This is a story about Ultraviolence.

Why?: There are no names, specific locations, or any kind of unique plot hook. The synopsis seems to rely entirely on mood and thematics. Why does that mean it seems like ai? Because if you were to ask an LLM to help you write a synopsis with basic level context, that's something similar to what it would generate, it's a common trait when it doesn't have a text bible to work with. However, this can also point to someone just leaning REAL HARD into overdone or nitty gritty edgy tropes, or simply attributed to inexperienced writing.

Also, you might want to tone down your overuse of deflection and contemptuous sarcasm.
Good luck with your writing~
 

Envylope

Queen of the Enpire
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Having someone say you write like AI is a rite of passage. It's like getting your first *1 rating. Congratulations!
It should also be a rite of passage for the people that accuse people with no evidence to get criticized. This kind of behavior is equally bad as people that use AI. And I wish both will stub their pinky toe against a table.
 

OtherSlater

I Play Marvel Rivals
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Messages
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Why?: There are no names, specific locations, or any kind of unique plot hook. The synopsis seems to rely entirely on mood and thematics. Why does that mean it seems like ai? Because if you were to ask an LLM to help you write a synopsis with basic level context, that's something similar to what it would generate, it's a common trait when it doesn't have a text bible to work with. However, this can also point to someone just leaning REAL HARD into overdone or nitty gritty edgy tropes, or simply attributed to inexperienced writing.

Also, you might want to tone down your overuse of deflection and contemptuous sarcasm.
Good luck with your writing~
I mean, yeah, it's a moody book. And I wanted to match that. Like sure It's basic I can take that criticism but just say that lmao. I can happily work on that later, but just saying "It's vague so it's AI" is... annoying.

Also:
"No names" Yeah, the DISILLUSIONED WAR VETERAN is a good enough description of him. "This isn't a story about Jackie White" sounds a bit more basic than "This isn’t a story about a disillusioned war veteran finding his way."

"no specific locations" I said urban jungle at the start of a new decade. Would "New York, 2010" be that much more interesting?

"No unique kind of plot hook" I said this is a story about institutions failing people, and their violent reactions to it. I mean if it doesn't hook you I'm fine but this random heat is coming from somewhere, I wonder where?
 
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Leti

Joined
Jun 17, 2020
Messages
750
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I mean if it doesn't hook you I'm fine but this random heat is coming from somewhere, I wonder where?
It comes from so many people asking for feedbacks for their new stories on the forums with no intention of applying the feedbacks, using the threads they started as a way to self-promote. When they get actual feedback, they start getting angry. They become defensive.
 
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