Paul's feedback thread

SirDogeTheFirst

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Feb 11, 2021
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I like to submit my newest piece of trash.


And please skip the prologue as it's just talking about the world's history, it's not part of the plot.
 

Representing_Tromba

Sleep deprived mess of an author begging for feedb
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You could do mine if you want though it is gender bender. Also the first few chapters are a bit longer than the norm.
I just want you to know that the second reason why I haven't given feedback on another story yet is solely due to how long your first chapter is. The recording and editing process is taking forever. I am almost done though. The first reason is that work has been busy and I am very sleep deprived.
 

Jmoonday

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Mar 19, 2023
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It isn't my cup of tea but I did say I would record anything that got a 4/5 and yours did so I'm doing it. It's just taking forever.
Wow very thoughtful of you! Thanks for doing this for all of us, seriously. It goes a long way to show that you are willing to look at something you have little interest in.

Also get some sleep!
 

Representing_Tromba

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Wow very thoughtful of you! Thanks for doing this for all of us, seriously. It goes a long way to show that you are willing to look at something you have little interest in.

Also get some sleep!
Thanks man. I'm gonna try for a nap and an early bedtime tonight. Melchi's story is almost done being edited. Shouldn't be long.
 

Representing_Tromba

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Guess I'll throw my hat in the ring. ? ?

This World That Called for Us
Rating system:
Grammar, rated from 4
Spelling, rated 5
Plot, rated 4
characterization, rated 3
Enjoyment, rated 3
3.8 / 5

You have near-perfect grammar and perfect spelling. The plot is also engaging enough to keep someone reading. The characters feel kind of off and out of place (both figuratively and due to the plot, literally), like the cast of Riverdale. I enjoyed it a fair bit but personally wouldn’t keep reading. Many people would read this and become enthralled with the story. Your target audience is definitely romance lovers and forced situation drama fans.
 

Horrible-Void

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Question before I post, what if I have my 3 chapters split up into multiple parts? Do you just read the first 3 available parts of the story or read until a chapter 4 is clearly indicated?
 

Representing_Tromba

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Question before I post, what if I have my 3 chapters split up into multiple parts? Do you just read the first 3 available parts of the story or read until a chapter 4 is clearly indicated?
I read the first three parts. I release mine in parts too so I only read the first three parts as released.
 

Horrible-Void

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Ok. I don't have 3 parts posted separately but my First chapter is the equivalent of that, since I original wrote it for book format and not the format most people post on this site. Been posting in shorter bits since then. All this just to say that you only have to read the first chapter, because it is a bit long

 
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