I'll read your first chapter and tell you my opinion on it

[Jaymi]

The most important part of a web novel is the first chapter. It makes sense, really. On a place like scribblehub, where readers have millions of stories to choose from, it can be considered a privilige to even have them read your first chapter. This first chapter is usually where the reader decides whether they'll commit to the rest of the story or not. (I'd argue its the first few sentences even.) Some of you guys may be able to relate; but any time i try to write a story, the first chapter is always where i struggle the most.

After returning to writing (and scribblehub in general) after almost 3 years, i was thinking it'd be nice to get to know my fellow scribblehub authors a bit better. And what better way to do that than by reading you guys' stories? Now, I'll only be reading the first chapter (unless I'm super into the story), but hey, we've already established how important that first chapter is. I get quite busy, don't blame me...

What qualifies me to give you feedback? Absolutely nothing... Instead of looking at it as 'professional feedback', just think of it as a friends opinion of your stories :)

Fun bonus: Tell me what inspired you to write the story your working on! For me it was the Japan trip I just came back from with my best friend. I couldn't stop thinking about all the amazing things we did there, the wonderful people we met, the anxiety we had when we had to find our way through Shinjuku train station for the first time. My best friend and I keep talking about how it felt like a movie, so that's what inspired me to write my current story, i wanted to recapture how wonderful it can be to just get lost and adventure with someone you care about

edit: pls no smut ;_;

 

[Th3Breadnought]

I'm a new user as of today, and have begun posting my first work here (which I've been working on since June 2025). When I was younger, my older brother poured countless hours into a dark urban fantasy called "The Demon Song" he was writing before he abandoned it entirely. But I thought it was the coolest thing ever that my brother was writing a book.

I've always wanted to write something, partially inspired by him and relevant themes I feel don't often get nuanced treatment. So first I began discovery writing, then before I knew it I was editing and adding structure.

"The Gestalt Archives I - Summer 2031" is my only work on Scribblehub. Pretty sure this link will work:

The Gestalt Archives I – Summer 2031 - Chapter 1 – Happy Thursday | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

I'm especially interested in perspective since I immediately step on a common pet peeve and begin with a dream sequence, though one I'm trying to do something specific with.

And no smut, promise. Lol

 

[V8485]

I would be happy if you had a look at my novel book thing. The Devil’s Hell | Scribble Hub.

What inspired me to write the tale was originally pure insanity. I was reading so many isekai webtoons/manhwa that I went mad because the main characters never act in the way I thought I would act. Also, it seems that the isekai genre never pushed far enough, and those who did, like Re:Zero, were good, but the main character was once more my problem. Also, Mushoku Tensei's main character really destroys the whole tale. So I made this hell-fuck nightmare that I love, but I know is made for one very specific individual, and that is me. I hope you found something interesting about this thing.

 

[Fairemont]

The Secret Lives of Magical Girls

Under constant threat by malevolent forces bleeding through the fabric of reality, the world must turn to divine guardians chosen by the heavens: magical girls. These young women rise to the occasion and fend off the vile monsters seeking to corrupt and consume all of humanity, but there is...

www.scribblehub.com

I wanted to write a story with a definitive end that wasn't going to be super long, so this is the start of that. I also felt that magical girls would be fun to write about, especially in an atypical way.

 

[MC-Stories]

Beast Heroes: Bianca’s Genisis

Follow the tale of Bianca Verdant, a 10 year old Awakened Beast Hero as she forges her legacy in a world filled with turmoil and Fear, her kndness and understanding being her greatest weapons as she deals the perks and responsibilities of being an 'Early Bloomer'

www.scribblehub.com

Here you go

The underated fighting game, Bloody Roar was my Inspiration for this, if it wasn't for Konami's bad decisions, it could have rivaled the likes of Tekken or King of Fighters

 

[Jaymi]

I'm a new user as of today, and have begun posting my first work here (which I've been working on since June 2025). When I was younger, my older brother poured countless hours into a dark urban fantasy called "The Demon Song" he was writing before he abandoned it entirely. But I thought it was the coolest thing ever that my brother was writing a book.

I've always wanted to write something, partially inspired by him and relevant themes I feel don't often get nuanced treatment. So first I began discovery writing, then before I knew it I was editing and adding structure.

"The Gestalt Archives I - Summer 2031" is my only work on Scribblehub. Pretty sure this link will work:

The Gestalt Archives I – Summer 2031 - Chapter 1 – Happy Thursday | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

I'm especially interested in perspective since I immediately step on a common pet peeve and begin with a dream sequence, though one I'm trying to do something specific with.

And no smut, promise. Lol

First things first: welcome to scribblehub!
Love the reason behind you wanting to write this story! I hope I end up inspiring my younger brother to pick up writing as well some day :v

Now, for the chapter.
i wanna say i’m surprised, but that sounds a bit backhanded so i’ll just say this: it was really good.

I usually don’t like when a story starts with a dream or something that doesn’t immediately push the plot forward, but you pulled it off. It really felt like a dream, if that makes sense. And the kind dream i would get, so that’s a plus. It also wasn’t dragged out long enough to confuse me after he woke up. Nor was it so short that I was like “what was the point of that?”

I’d say the strongest part about this chapter was definitely Landen, he was super relatable. From the “wishing for more wishes” thing (we’ve all been there, lol), to feeling like there’s no point trying to sleep anymore. Him moving quietly through the house so he doesn’t disturb anyone,… And maybe (just maybe) him worrying about balding before 30… Never mind, i don’t want to manifest it.

For me, his relatability made it so i liked him enough, so that by the time something actually happens (him seeing a guy with a gored up face through his kitchen window) i actually cared about how he would deal with it.

I also liked the way he interacted with other characters/the world, him casually talking to a ghost which he calls Casper, basically telling him to F off while still giving off an empathetic feeling, like he’s genuinely sad about how casper ended up. Even him just shooing off a kid.

Would I keep reading? Yeah. It has good writing, a relatable protagonist, but i’m mainly curious about what he’d actually do if “casper” didn’t decide to leave on its own, especially after the “move on or I’ll move you along” line.

Conclusion: i feel like you know what you’re doing, and i’m excited to read more of your story.

Oh one thing though, maybe consider moving the content warning and the posting schedule inside author notes, it’ll give the chapter itself a cleaner look. And it would be a shame if it made people turn away from such a wonderful story because of those things being in the way.

 

[Th3Breadnought]

Thank you so much! And I will definitely consider that. My new user status is showing, lol

 

[DismaiNaim]

Here you go

A Place To Bloom - Called | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Funny story, I also started this on the way back from Japan. In our case, the plane left late and we missed our connection in Toronto, only to get stranded for a week.

On the plus side, I did take the kids to explore a small corner of Canada and we spent some pastel-colored money along the way

 

[ElijahRyne]

The most important part of a web novel is the first chapter. It makes sense, really. On a place like scribblehub, where readers have millions of stories to choose from, it can be considered a privilige to even have them read your first chapter. This first chapter is usually where the reader decides whether they'll commit to the rest of the story or not. (I'd argue its the first few sentences even.) Some of you guys may be able to relate; but any time i try to write a story, the first chapter is always where i struggle the most.

After returning to writing (and scribblehub in general) after almost 3 years, i was thinking it'd be nice to get to know my fellow scribblehub authors a bit better. And what better way to do that than by reading you guys' stories? Now, I'll only be reading the first chapter (unless I'm super into the story), but hey, we've already established how important that first chapter is. I get quite busy, don't blame me...

What qualifies me to give you feedback? Absolutely nothing... Instead of looking at it as 'professional feedback', just think of it as a friends opinion of your stories :)

Fun bonus: Tell me what inspired you to write the story your working on! For me it was the Japan trip I just came back from with my best friend. I couldn't stop thinking about all the amazing things we did there, the wonderful people we met, the anxiety we had when we had to find our way through Shinjuku train station for the first time. My best friend and I keep talking about how it felt like a movie, so that's what inspired me to write my current story, i wanted to recapture how wonderful it can be to just get lost and adventure with someone you care about

edit: pls no smut ;_;

It Is a heavily in the work in progress territory, but the first few chapters are fairly okay atm. Here is a link to the Docs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-qpLyHm5HVoxOLvIau4VTUO2fDIM4N-hznKwaShjhKI/edit?usp=drivesdk

As for the inspiration it is quite a few things. One is all the VN’s I read last year. Another is a few Chinese Webnovels having interesting worlds/universes but awful stories, so I am trying to bridge the gap if that makes sense. However the biggets inspiration is me waking up one day and wanting to write a mecha, despite having little experience in consuming or producing such stories.

 

[Cookiez_N_Potionz]

The most important part of a web novel is the first chapter. It makes sense, really. On a place like scribblehub, where readers have millions of stories to choose from, it can be considered a privilige to even have them read your first chapter. This first chapter is usually where the reader decides whether they'll commit to the rest of the story or not. (I'd argue its the first few sentences even.) Some of you guys may be able to relate; but any time i try to write a story, the first chapter is always where i struggle the most.

After returning to writing (and scribblehub in general) after almost 3 years, i was thinking it'd be nice to get to know my fellow scribblehub authors a bit better. And what better way to do that than by reading you guys' stories? Now, I'll only be reading the first chapter (unless I'm super into the story), but hey, we've already established how important that first chapter is. I get quite busy, don't blame me...

What qualifies me to give you feedback? Absolutely nothing... Instead of looking at it as 'professional feedback', just think of it as a friends opinion of your stories :)

Fun bonus: Tell me what inspired you to write the story your working on! For me it was the Japan trip I just came back from with my best friend. I couldn't stop thinking about all the amazing things we did there, the wonderful people we met, the anxiety we had when we had to find our way through Shinjuku train station for the first time. My best friend and I keep talking about how it felt like a movie, so that's what inspired me to write my current story, i wanted to recapture how wonderful it can be to just get lost and adventure with someone you care about

edit: pls no smut ;_;

I just wanted to challenge myself at writing LitRPG Webnovels.

Hacking The System: KINGDOM OF STONE [LitRPG]

'Freedom. Peace. Hope.' It's 1979 and society has advanced thanks to the urban dungeons that sprouted throughout America. Inside these mazes are magical artifacts and treasures guarded by mythical monsters. To collect these spoils of war Guilds were established by the Radical Guilds...

www.scribblehub.com

 

[MFontana]

The most important part of a web novel is the first chapter. It makes sense, really. On a place like scribblehub, where readers have millions of stories to choose from, it can be considered a privilige to even have them read your first chapter. This first chapter is usually where the reader decides whether they'll commit to the rest of the story or not. (I'd argue its the first few sentences even.) Some of you guys may be able to relate; but any time i try to write a story, the first chapter is always where i struggle the most.

After returning to writing (and scribblehub in general) after almost 3 years, i was thinking it'd be nice to get to know my fellow scribblehub authors a bit better. And what better way to do that than by reading you guys' stories? Now, I'll only be reading the first chapter (unless I'm super into the story), but hey, we've already established how important that first chapter is. I get quite busy, don't blame me...

What qualifies me to give you feedback? Absolutely nothing... Instead of looking at it as 'professional feedback', just think of it as a friends opinion of your stories :)

Fun bonus: Tell me what inspired you to write the story your working on! For me it was the Japan trip I just came back from with my best friend. I couldn't stop thinking about all the amazing things we did there, the wonderful people we met, the anxiety we had when we had to find our way through Shinjuku train station for the first time. My best friend and I keep talking about how it felt like a movie, so that's what inspired me to write my current story, i wanted to recapture how wonderful it can be to just get lost and adventure with someone you care about

edit: pls no smut ;_;

I wouldn't object to any feedback or comments on my work, but do need to give advance notice on a few things.
The story begins on the Prelude, which in this series functions similarly to a prologue, but is presented through a different lens than the rest of the narrative.
Chapter 1 was also posted in two parts due to its hefty wordcount in an effort to make it easier to read on this platform.
Chapter 2 is where the action starts to pick up, and was released in three parts (again, for the same reason).

This series is primarily being written for print, and is merely being released chapter by chapter here as well, so it is not going to adhere to any of the typical webnovel tropes, structure, or styles.

The series: The Elarian Chronicles

PS: There is no sex in any of the early chapters. The smut genre is tagged for the planned, optional, bonus content [none of which has been released yet] that is primarily canonical fan-service that isn't narratively relevant. There is a planned slow-burn romance subplot over the course of five volumes, and will include sexual content later on when the narrative demands it, but if you're only planning to read the early chapters anyway, this shouldn't be an issue.

 

[TooThunder7]

This is the beginning of book my working on called A.K.L it about assassins. I’m looking for feedback in general. The A.K.L is Japanese assassins organization. We follow Gkoet an assassin who skill make up for being messy their no doubt he the fastest when come to anything. He constantly taking out targets lates, He loud, leaves a bloody messy in A.K.L assassin weren’t supposed to leave a track Gkoet has broken that rule over 100th that only he isn’t dead is his skills.

I’m going for more comedic then dark and serious assassins.


Horrific rose across the man's face, The man's spine froze, the light in his eyes gone, he was shaking and hiding in the alley like a rat.

The man's chest pounding, with each breath he took he aches, his lung bleeds with his breath drawing shorter each second. The trash cans hid him as he cowered behind them hutch back.


'No.... no-no-no-no.' He whispered, trembling. shaking his head 'no'.. One last he say head raised in disbelief of what he knew was true that the end was upon him.


'Come On... the sun is almost up.' He exhaled stepping into the alley the darkness covered him.


Gkoet was lean back, his arm slant, he held a gun his grip so loose the wind could blow out of his hand. 'WHY!' The man yelled 'Why-why? He whispered, laying on the ground hutching his chest.


'Mm.' He sneered to the man. This wasn't more or less a job, his heart couldn't weights less after killing this man. With a flick of his finger the gun flew up he pushed the trigger as it flew. The man drew his last breath before the gun swung down. Gkoet had killed the man fast, not wanting to be late for work again.


Moments ago Gkoet was on a rooftop waiting for Po'po who he was assigned by A.K.L to kill to exit the building. When Po'po exited the building Gkoet rushed his shot as he fell asleep and didn't have it set up . when he was attacked by birds as he shot, causing him to miss and shoot Po'po in the lung and not heart. Po'po spotted him from rooftops and ran, leading to Gkoet chasing after him in the alley.


He slid out of the alley putting the dead man body in a trash can to hide him. As he walked down the street nodding his head, tapping his foot to the song he was listening to.


His footsteps began to slow down as he passed a building title N.A.C.K in big golden letters. He tapped the music in his ear to turn off the song he was listening to. As he sighs.


He stretched before entering the office.


'Ah' he exhales coming into the office. 'Jesssse..!' He smiles at her, walking to the elevator. The office on the first or higher floor there was nothing noble except for the huge black symbol on the ground on the first floor. Jesse was working the front desk.


She check her watch seeing Gkoet. 'Uh... seeing you this early it like Umm.. it like seeing an eclipse'. She smirked as she signed him in. 'Yeah because I'm that good.' He replies lean against the wall. 'I'm out all night killing targets.'


'Ok... sure.' she said pressing a button. 'Uh your hair looks great today.' Entering the elevator he said. 'Oh.. thank' she whispers while swirling a lock of her hair as she blushes.


He groaned, pressing the buttons in a code. He entered another secret password.... The display system scans his body. The display reads 'identified confirmed'."


As floor levels flashing by, Light peeking through the gap in the elevator as it descends underground.

Tapping his foot waiting for the elevator door open. He deal with the elevator wait with his

Beep. The doors opened. 'Ugggh Finally!' He groaned.

He got off the elevator leaving a dent in the wall. He lifted his hand over his eye covering them from the bright white. walk to the Center. as his skin begins shine from bight white light as he enters the Center.

In the entrance of the Center he scanned the room.

 

[Jaymi]

I would be happy if you had a look at my novel book thing. The Devil’s Hell | Scribble Hub.

What inspired me to write the tale was originally pure insanity. I was reading so many isekai webtoons/manhwa that I went mad because the main characters never act in the way I thought I would act. Also, it seems that the isekai genre never pushed far enough, and those who did, like Re:Zero, were good, but the main character was once more my problem. Also, Mushoku Tensei's main character really destroys the whole tale. So I made this hell-fuck nightmare that I love, but I know is made for one very specific individual, and that is me. I hope you found something interesting about this thing.

First off, it was a bit hard for me to get hooked at the beginning. There isn’t really anything pushing the plot forward at first. The first moment that actually caught my attention was him checking the bloody calendar and realizing it’s his birthday.

The dialogue is fun, but I think it could benefit from some dialogue tags here and there. Sometimes I had to stop and think about who was talking.

You also waited a bit long to reveal that it’s set in Tokyo. Seeing two western names at first made me assume it was set in America, so it might confuse some readers when “Tokyo” suddenly shows up later.

There are also some grammatical mistakes, but those are easy to fix just by rereading the chapter and cleaning things up.

I did really like the ending though. His reaction felt natural, and it ended in a way that actually made me want to read the next chapter to see what happened.

Would I keep reading? Maybe. I’m not really a fan of present tense stories, but it works. I guess. If the grammar/punctuation was cleaned up a bit and some dialogue tags were added, I’d be more willing to keep reading.

One more thing: you mentioned isekai stories being an inspiration (I love Re:Zero), and by the end of the chapter I was sure this was gonna be an isekai. But when I checked the tags/genres, I didn’t see isekai. Might be worth double-checking those, since tags are one of the main ways people find stories on ScribbleHub.

 

[AliceMoonvale]

Try mine, if you dare.
This Is How I Lived

 

[Nolff]

Try mine, if you dare.
This Is How I Lived

Hey, girl in an apocalypse. How are ya?

Also, @Jaymi.

If somehow you're able to read all those submissions and are done with them, and somehow you're bored, you may check mine out.

I'll be seeing what you'll comment on my latest novel. It's on my signature, the one with a guy on a laptop.

Hope you enjoy.

 

[Eldoria]

Please try this, dude.

[Help Me] Measure the Reader's Perception of Character Identifier

Feedback to Measure the Reader's Perception of Character Identifier Could you help me gauge how readers perceive multiple characters in a chapter? I'd like to know how causal readers identify characters in a narrative. If you'd like, please follow these instructions: 1. Read only the chapter...

forum.scribblehub.com

 

[Jaymi]

Hey, girl in an apocalypse. How are ya?

Also, @Jaymi.

If somehow you're able to read all those submissions and are done with them, and somehow you're bored, you may check mine out.

I'll be seeing what you'll comment on my latest novel. It's on my signature, the one with a guy on a laptop.

Hope you enjoy.

I'm planning to keep doing this for at least this weekend, so I'm sure I'll get to yours as well =)

 

[Nolff]

I'm planning to keep doing this for at least this weekend, so I'm sure I'll get to yours as well =)

Took me about three days to review all of the books on my thread. Unless you speedrun this, I don't think this'll be done by the end of the week.

 

[Jaymi]

The Secret Lives of Magical Girls

Under constant threat by malevolent forces bleeding through the fabric of reality, the world must turn to divine guardians chosen by the heavens: magical girls. These young women rise to the occasion and fend off the vile monsters seeking to corrupt and consume all of humanity, but there is...

www.scribblehub.com

I wanted to write a story with a definitive end that wasn't going to be super long, so this is the start of that. I also felt that magical girls would be fun to write about, especially in an atypical way.

You're lucky I'm a sucker for magical girls ;c
…okay, I take it back. You don’t have to be lucky, because even if I didn’t like magical girl stories, this chapter was really good.
I mean, you know it's good when the only thing you struggled with while reading was pronouncing the names, lol.

Moving on..
It didn’t take long for me to get hooked. Starting with the urgency about finding files worked for me (who doesn’t like files, right? looking at you Epstein ...bad joke, sorry). What i'm trying to say is, you do a good job making it interesting from the get-go.

You have a really 'fun' writing style. I liked this sentence in particular, for some reason it put a cringy smile on my face:

“I hear my balding, penguin-shaped boss waddle out of his office so I whirl around and throw on a professional, practiced smile, but I fear that it is marred by annoyance.”

The protagonist is both likeable and believable, and her kind of awkwardness is actually pretty cute. The city god appearing while she’s shopping for an interview outfit fits the theme you set up really well too.

Will I keep reading? Yeah. There honestly wasn’t anything I disliked about this chapter. It also fits the usual stuff I like to read.
One thing though: maybe put the glossary in a spoiler? Not sure if it’s just me, but I tend to scroll past those to get to the next chapter faster

Took me about three days to review all of the books on my thread. Unless you speedrun this, I don't think this'll be done by the end of the week.

It's fine it's fine. I guess some people will just have to wait then
I enjoy doing this, I get to read some new stories, and get to know the people in this forum a bit better, it's a win-win for me.
Though i really have to get back to writing my own story now :s

 

[Th3Breadnought]

Here you go

A Place To Bloom - Called | Scribble Hub

www.scribblehub.com

Funny story, I also started this on the way back from Japan. In our case, the plane left late and we missed our connection in Toronto, only to get stranded for a week.

On the plus side, I did take the kids to explore a small corner of Canada and we spent some pastel-colored money along the way

I enjoyed this. Love your characters and worldbuilding.