How to make friends?

[Fang_Yuan]

I've been introverted since birth and the lockdown made me even more self-contained. Wanderlust made me go everywhere. 2024, I climbed a mountain alone. 2025, climbed a different mountain and live there for 3 months all by myself. I don't have social media so I don't have any text mates or something. And now I don't know how to start a relationship. I still talk to people when I go out to buy stuff though. But I don't have people I really connect with. Do I just come up to someone and say: Hey, want to be friends? I really have no idea how to do that and it is reflecting in my writing. Besides, if neither of us have same interest, it won't be a beneficial to us or a meaningful friendship.

 

[RainyLiquid]

You steal them.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

I've been introverted since birth and the lockdown made me even more self-contained. Wanderlust made me go everywhere. 2024, I climbed a mountain alone. 2025, climbed a different mountain and live there for 3 months all by myself. I don't have social media so I don't have any text mates or something. And now I don't know how to start a relationship. I still talk to people when I go out to buy stuff though. But I don't have people I really connect with. Do I just come up to someone and say: Hey, want to be friends? I really have no idea how to do that and it is reflecting in my writing. Besides, if neither of us have same interest, it won't be a beneficial to us or a meaningful friendship.

Then you should start, what are your interests?

 

[Nevafrost]

I make friends really easily and quickly irl.
But I like what you are doing lol. Climbing a mountain alone and living there? Damn! That's insanely awesome. I really need that kind of opportunity lmao.
Friends? Uhm, I guess you should just wait for an extrovert to adopt you or just kidnap and befriend them.

 

[Jerynboe]

I’d say list all of your interests and systematically research all of them to see if there are organizations in your vicinity who are dedicated to that thing. You’ll get a lot of no, but this is something you might need to approach with the same level of failure tolerance as getting a new job in the current economy.

I like board games, for example, and I’m aware of a board game night that a game store in the town I live near puts on weekly.

My wife is part of a mom’s club for mothers with smol children. She’s also been in a hiking group for people who like going on hikes together.

When at such events, try to be friendly. Ask questions about things that come up. If you end up close to someone, mention other interests you have to test the waters. Exchange phone numbers.

You may need to make a social media account exclusively to check updates for events being run by one or more groups, which might be difficult if you are actively avoiding social media, but if so you’re going to need to figure out how to work around that and accept that it’s suboptimal.

 

[Fang_Yuan]

Then you should start, what are your interests?

Philosophy, fighting, parkour, studying, research, writing, drawing, thinking, those stuff.

I make friends really easily and quickly irl.
But I like what you are doing lol. Climbing a mountain alone and living there? Damn! That's insanely awesome. I really need that kind of opportunity lmao.
Friends? Uhm, I guess you should just wait for an extrovert to adopt you or just kidnap and befriend them.

What do you mean kidnap?

I’d say list all of your interests and systematically research all of them to see if there are organizations in your vicinity who are dedicated to that thing. You’ll get a lot of no, but this is something you might need to approach with the same level of failure tolerance as getting a new job in the current economy.

I like board games, for example, and I’m aware of a board game night that a game store in the town I live near puts on weekly.

My wife is part of a mom’s club for mothers with smol children. She’s also been in a hiking group for people who like going on hikes together.

When at such events, try to be friendly. Ask questions about things that come up. If you end up close to someone, mention other interests you have to test the waters. Exchange phone numbers.

You may need to make a social media account exclusively to check updates for events being run by one or more groups, which might be difficult if you are actively avoiding social media, but if so you’re going to need to figure out how to work around that and accept that it’s suboptimal.

Events huh? It's been a while since I met people more than 10. I'll try if I find some but it's a bit terrifying. Ty though.

 

[Assurbanipal_II]

Philosophy, fighting, parkour, studying, research, writing, drawing, thinking, those stuff.

What do you mean kidnap?

 

[Nevafrost]

What do you mean kidnap?

That was joke haha. But if you really are interested, then ask @Assurbanipal_II

 

[ArchlordZero]

The real friends are the treasures we meet along the way

 

[Eldoria]

I've been introverted since birth and the lockdown made me even more self-contained. Wanderlust made me go everywhere. 2024, I climbed a mountain alone. 2025, climbed a different mountain and live there for 3 months all by myself. I don't have social media so I don't have any text mates or something. And now I don't know how to start a relationship. I still talk to people when I go out to buy stuff though. But I don't have people I really connect with. Do I just come up to someone and say: Hey, want to be friends? I really have no idea how to do that and it is reflecting in my writing. Besides, if neither of us have same interest, it won't be a beneficial to us or a meaningful friendship.

Friends can be found in many ways such as childhood friends, classmates, workmates, and hobby friends (here).

The most important thing in friendship is to show friendliness and sincerity. If you are kind to others, then others will organically feel at ease with you.

But don't just befriend anyone on the street... especially if you are a girl (I don't want to admit it - but females are still vulnerable subjects in the real world).

Befriend good people. Don't put 100% trust in strangers (always carry at least 10% suspicion for caution).

Don't share private information before you really know the person (at least know their identity). And don't depend too much on friends for your happiness. Friends can come and go... everyone has a life.

And lastly... don't trust me, because I am also a stranger. Just consider this answer as a consideration or advice from someone who has a lot of life experience. Hope this helps.

Regards.

 

[CountVanBadger]

 

[Grizzly18]

Definitely use your interests as a gateway to meet people. You said fighting and parkour? Try a boxing gym or if available a parkour gym/studio. For the more scholarly pursuits I suggest the library. Maybe one in your area has a book club or something like that. If all else fails trying googling your interest and the local area to see if anything pops up. Try to be honest if people about being introverted but wanting friends. I myself don’t have any but I’m of the kind where I can get by without them. If after a few months and multiple real attempts I suggest a therapist. While strangers on the internet can occasionally give good advice about overcoming personal issues a trained mental health professional might be better than the guy suggesting you kidnap people.

 

[Shamiko]

js find people with similar interest as you that are talkative. you wont feel as stressed out bc the person speaks for the both of you and will get practise in to slowly get to people that are more introverted like you.

 

[LeilaniOtter]

I've been introverted since birth and the lockdown made me even more self-contained. Wanderlust made me go everywhere. 2024, I climbed a mountain alone. 2025, climbed a different mountain and live there for 3 months all by myself. I don't have social media so I don't have any text mates or something. And now I don't know how to start a relationship. I still talk to people when I go out to buy stuff though. But I don't have people I really connect with. Do I just come up to someone and say: Hey, want to be friends? I really have no idea how to do that and it is reflecting in my writing. Besides, if neither of us have same interest, it won't be a beneficial to us or a meaningful friendship.

Smile at people. A smile does wonders. just letting people know that you acknowledge them, don;t mind them, and don't mind being in the same room with them, can open a lot of opportunities.

Try this: Go to a public library and browse shelves, and smile at people, and see if they strike up a conversation with you, like "So many books here, huh?" or "Looking for something for my kid", or whatever they're looking for. And suddenly, you could have something in common with one another, and away you go to sit at a table and discuss topics.

It's really that easy. And frankly, if we all just considered doing that every once in a while, the world would be a better placer.

 

[Daitengu]

Well, the easiest way is to go where your interests lay. Though in this case it'd have to be something like a hiking/mtn climbing store, or a indoor rock climbing place.

Another is to Google websites and forums for your interests. Then interact with people that way. For hiking and climbing, some of them sites even organize group events. I suggest joining those to make friends.

 

[TASTYLEADPAINT]

Honestly gaming is the best way to make friends. My currwnt friend group came from me being invited to a World of warships clan discord. There i met a drunk finnish dude [aka a regular finnish man] who invited me to a smite discord where i met a scottish guy me being english led to some funny banter between the two of us. Long story short he got me into magic the gathering [cringe i know] and now i play regular magic games with a mexican,scot,yank and canadian with a rare guest appearance from a dutch

Tldr sometimes clicking random discord server invites isnt a bad thing

 

[Fang_Yuan]

Smile at people. A smile does wonders. just letting people know that you acknowledge them, don;t mind them, and don't mind being in the same room with them, can open a lot of opportunities.

Try this: Go to a public library and browse shelves, and smile at people, and see if they strike up a conversation with you, like "So many books here, huh?" or "Looking for something for my kid", or whatever they're looking for. And suddenly, you could have something in common with one another, and away you go to sit at a table and discuss topics.

It's really that easy. And frankly, if we all just considered doing that every once in a while, the world would be a better placer.

That sounds so terrifying or maybe that's just me.

Well, the easiest way is to go where your interests lay. Though in this case it'd have to be something like a hiking/mtn climbing store, or a indoor rock climbing place.

Another is to Google websites and forums for your interests. Then interact with people that way. For hiking and climbing, some of them sites even organize group events. I suggest joining those to make friends.

It's difficult to find people of similar interests. At least in my place. I can't find anyone willing to trek a mountain. If they want to travel, it's often just to camp in the beach.

 

[Nevafrost]

That sounds so terrifying or maybe that's just me.

As someone who makes friends easily, that sounds terrifying even to me lol.
It feels like someone who would try to approach you to take advantage of you haha.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

It always seemed like Victor Frankenstein had the right idea, but then he rejected his new friend, and it decided he was a bad father, not a faithless friend, and set out to ruin his life.

 

[Fairemont]

You're my friend now. Congratulations!




But in all honesty, it can be as simple as going up to someone you find compelling and just asking to be friends.

You can't tell if you'll be good friends, or if friendship will work out, but anyone who isn't a complete asshole 24/7 is likely going to be, at minimum, flattered. If they feel even a shred of interest, they'll probably give it a chance. If they say no, it's because they're either not looking for new friends (which is not super common), caught off guard and just reflexively decline, or something about you doesn't feel compelling to them.

It's especially easy with adults, because once people are out of high school/college they lose most of their friends, if not all of them, and will often have little opportunity to make new ones. So, most adults generally have 1-3 people they consider friends.

Therefore, most people are willing to make new friends, or at least give it a try.

So, it can be, quite literally, as easy as saying: "You seem interesting. Want to see if we can be friends?"