How to make friends?

[Fang_Yuan]

Lol of course. if you want to be just message me anytime you want. If I don't respond right away, I'll definitely get to it asap.
I tend to write for hours at a time.

I really don't know how messaging works here. But I'll see to it after a while. I also gotta update a novel because it's been 10 days

 

[Th3Breadnought]

Step 1: System Detox & Update
Make an effort to get seven hours of sleep every night. Shower every other day or whenever you leave home (water on, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, all that jazz). Limit drinks at home to 2 - 3 a week. With consideration for allergies, get mixed nuts, blueberries, deli chicken, bananas, multivitamins. Have them at least once a day in addition to whatever else you want to eat, don't go on a diet or anything. Drink water when you wake up and whenever you eat. And go outside once a day, even if you just look around and go back in, but if it's nice- walk down the street and back.

Step 2: Improve Your Environment
Don't go nuts with redecorating or a deep clean, but at home: clear up clutter, make your bed, take out the trash, vacuum or sweep once a week.

Now you've accomplished things, your brain isn't operating on 50% or less, and you've given your body what it needs to not physically resist any action.

Step 3: Look Around
See if your work does any community engagement or community service, or even has little recreational internal groups that align with your interests. If they do team outings, go. See if your town or city has volunteer or charitable organizations that align with things you value and need volunteers, check with your town hall. If you're into nerd stuff like me and most people here, look for a local game store and go: see if they organize D&D groups or something. Get on Reddit and find subreddits with people who share your interests.

Step 4: Give it a Try
The above are places where people show up on purpose to do things, with the expectation of interacting with other people. A lot of them probably didn't start as or still aren't social butterflies. But they show up, context is an icebreaker, and they're more likely to see you and engage with you for showing up than judge you for not being a social chameleon. Try once a week or every other week, I'd take once a month.

This isn't as concise as I'd like it to be, and I know it's work. But it worked for me and I hope it can work for you too. If nothing else, steps one and two will help you feel more accomplished and give you more bandwidth than you had before. I believe in you, good luck!

 

[Fang_Yuan]

Step 1: System Detox & Update
Make an effort to get seven hours of sleep every night. Shower every other day or whenever you leave home (water on, body wash, shampoo, conditioner, all that jazz). Limit drinks at home to 2 - 3 a week. With consideration for allergies, get mixed nuts, blueberries, deli chicken, bananas, multivitamins. Have them at least once a day in addition to whatever else you want to eat, don't go on a diet or anything. Drink water when you wake up and whenever you eat. And go outside once a day, even if you just look around and go back in, but if it's nice- walk down the street and back.

I do sleep 8 hours a night. Shower is done daily. Drinks? I don't drink anything except water or occasional coffee. Multivitamins made me feel sick the last time I tried 🥹.

Step 2: Improve Your Environment
Don't go nuts with redecorating or a deep clean, but at home: clear up clutter, make your bed, take out the trash, vacuum or sweep once a week.

This much I do often. No worries 🫡

Step 3: Look Around
See if your work does any community engagement or community service, or even has little recreational internal groups that align with your interests. If they do team outings, go. See if your town or city has volunteer or charitable organizations that align with things you value and need volunteers, check with your town hall. If you're into nerd stuff like me and most people here, look for a local game store and go: see if they organize D&D groups or something. Get on Reddit and find subreddits with people who share your interests.

I did try but I can't find anything.

Step 4: Give it a Try
The above are places where people show up on purpose to do things, with the expectation of interacting with other people. A lot of them probably didn't start as or still aren't social butterflies. But they show up, context is an icebreaker, and they're more likely to see you and engage with you for showing up than judge you for not being a social chameleon. Try once a week or every other week, I'd take once a month.

I understand 🫡 Will do my best!

 

[Time4T]

I've been introverted since birth and the lockdown made me even more self-contained. Wanderlust made me go everywhere. 2024, I climbed a mountain alone. 2025, climbed a different mountain and live there for 3 months all by myself. I don't have social media so I don't have any text mates or something. And now I don't know how to start a relationship. I still talk to people when I go out to buy stuff though. But I don't have people I really connect with. Do I just come up to someone and say: Hey, want to be friends? I really have no idea how to do that and it is reflecting in my writing. Besides, if neither of us have same interest, it won't be a beneficial to us or a meaningful friendship.

Thank God I'm an extrovert. Maybe even a little narcissistic if I'm honest. Confidence is wonderful. However, when I get stoned, I can feel a little self conscious, maybe the way an introvert does? So I think I understand and you have my sympathy. Thankfully I can solve my problem by just not smoking dope. But just so you know, being an extrovert doesn't guarantee friendship, especially close friendships. A lot of the times you can simply overwhelm people or make them feel uncomfortable. I think the saying "opposites attract" is mostly false. But in this situation, I think an extrovert might be right for you. Someone who will keep the friendship ball rolling even when you can't. Extroverts are easy to find.. their the ones who can't shut up.

 

[Worthy39]

But if someone figures this out, you could open a booth at Comic con and make a fortune.

 

[Dawnathon]

Who knows? Not a single friend I ever made was someone I set out to "make friends" with. They're just a weird thing that happens on its own sometimes. If I saw anyone trying to come up to me out of the blue saying "hi, can we be friends", in any setting? I'd just recount to them the sheer amount of ways they can go screw themselves. It would just come off as someone trying to be manipulative while running a 1 Charisma build. Probably just trying to get you to give them money.

Heck, I've had times in the past where people would come up to meet me, and I can't recall a single time it wasn't uncomfortable. Like I had two young women at this one joint who kept looking at me and giggling, came over to chat me up? You better believe I shut that down immediately.

Besides, a part of it is a matter of presentation. Like if people see that you have no friends, they're going to think "If nobody else wants to hang out with this guy, why should I do it?" It sucks, but you can't blame people for being concerned for their own sake. Go out onto the streets especially downtown and smile, say hello to everybody you pass by, and count how many uncomfortable stares and f-bombs get tossed your way. It's what people are like. Can't really expect anything else. It would be like expecting a cat to not meow or a dog to not bark.