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Hello, thank you so much for taking the time to read through my story, I really appreciate the detailed feedback. I’m glad the characters landed with you. I’ll definitely take another look at the show vs. tell balance when I revise; thanks for pointing out that pattern. As for the...

I’m excited to get to that part too. When you let your moments breathe, they’re genuinely great, those scenes are what show me how engaging this story can be, which is why I keep moving forward. Honestly my only ‘complaint’ just boils down to wanting more of those moments.

Hello, thanks for taking the time to look it over and give feedback even if it wasn't your cup of tea.

Hello again, I read chapters 3 and 4 and wanted to share some more thoughts. First, I want to say that I am enjoying the book. I don’t want that to get lost in the feedback. Anything I point out is meant as a suggestion for strengthening the story, not a criticism of the quality. You’ve built a...

I don't have strong feelings either way, but good on you for re-evaluating a stance based on new information instead of just doubling down.

Since you're bored I'd love feedback on my story. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2207000/in-the-seals-shadow/

Hello, I’m up for a feedback exchange. I read the first chapter to start, and there’s a lot here that works. The atmosphere is strong, and I like how grounded the world feels — the market, the inn, the barkeep, the soldiers. I also really enjoyed the dynamic between Fire and the girl; there’s a...

Were you looking for feedback on book two specifically? Or would you be ok if I started with book 1?

I enjoy this. For me it's an exploration into the minds of others. In real life we have plenty of people who commit crimes, yet I don't believe they think of themselves as wrong or bad. They justify it to themselves, actually most of us probably do this technically. I speed when driving every...

I read the first two chapters, I'm enjoying it so far and will keep reading during my limited free time which is scarce so your book hooked me pretty well for me to keep reading. I did have a question, is this at all based on superman? Just the idea, super powerful kid, raised by farmers...

lol, well nothing can be done then. Should you find an extra minute later the offer will stand.

Hello, I’d really appreciate it if you could take a few moments to check out my story. The first few chapters are pretty short, so if you have around ten minutes, I’d love to hear your thoughts on however far you get. Even knowing where you lose interest is helpful. Any feedback is welcome, but...

Hello! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my chapters, I’m really glad they pulled you in. I was honestly laughing at your live reactions; they were a joy to read and super helpful for seeing which moments landed the way I hoped. As for your question, I’d love to answer it, but the...

If you're still bored I'd appreciate any thoughts on the first few chapters of mine. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2207000/in-the-seals-shadow/

I think it depends a lot on what kind of story you're writing. The Hitchcock example is good, but to me the flaw is that there is no build up to the suitcase exploding in the first example. It's a twist out of nowhere with nothing that makes it feel earned. If the reader doesn't know there is a...

Personally I like yandere characters when done well, they scratch that 'I can fix her' itch. I also really like the idea of good intentions becoming harmful. I always find them a bit tragic, something happens to them and they never learn how to love in a healthy way, so their way of loving...

I read through the draft. It's an interesting concept, sharing a body with some being who wishes you harm. You have what I'd consider an interesting mix of show versus tell. Some things you let the reader infer such as the relationship between Steven and Jared. Other things you show, then tell...

The person in the carriage is Liriel, and yes it is a memory. I explain it as the chapter continues, but I can see why it's jarring here, since the POV character is seeing someone else's memories. Thank you for the detailed reply, I really appreciate it! I was trying to make the opening scene...

I only read the first chapter, but I'll still try to answer your questions. 1. Pacing - i agree with what others have said, it feels a bit fast. The dinner scene especially felt fast to me. 2. Character- my favorite topic of any book/story. There is some character development here, Rose is...

That's a bit disappointing, I use em dashes to try to sharpen my prose and avoid overusing commas. But if I'm losing people at the first em dashes it's probably worth removing them. For the two chapters comment, did you mean d Spending two chapters on world building and Liriel's perspective is...