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Always looking for feedback, anything to help me improve! Please and thank you :D https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1915090/shadows-in-sand-warhammer-/

Bumping in the hopes of getting some feedback :P

Ah, when I think of a power fantasy I usually picture a single person, not a faction as a whole, so thats likely the disconnect there.

Star trek was a power fantasy? IDK about that, but to be fair, the only one I watched all the way through was DS9 and bits of TNG, so Im pretty far from well versed in it :D

Its not an isekai, a power fantasy, a self insert, a crossover or anything like what the market has saturated with.

Gravity folds space, (and technically time as well but we'll leave that out for sake of simplicity) Therefore, if you control gravity well enough, you can fold space so that one side of the 'blade' in this case is offset from the other side of the blade. Thus, you swing it, and anything that...

I suppose this is a problem only in some genres? Sci-fi like I like to write is, assuming the writer tries to keep *some* manner of realism (Even if the tech is really advanced), means that the power can be lost, taken away, break down, run out of fuel, etc etc. Depending on the writer, the...

Always looking for critique, its the only way I can improve after all. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1915090/shadows-in-the-sand-warhammer-/ Just a heads up, the first five chapters are early establishments for characters, worldbuilding, etc as I like to write slower burn stories and let...

First off, thank you for taking the time to read and give feedback :) To address: I didn't write with the intention of doing a webnovel, I just started writing and wanted to put it up and see what people thought, and now I'm up to chapter 51 on other sites like Spacebattles and such. People...

Might as well toss my hat into the ring. https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1915090/shadows-in-the-sand-warhammer-/

https://www.scribblehub.com/read/1915090-shadows-in-the-sand-warhammer-/chapter/1915093/ Well, the only way to improve is to see whats wrong, so hit me. As for feedback, here is fine, maybe my mistakes will help someone else :D Genre wise no issues there, this isnt any of the ones you said no too.

I try to ground the sci-fi powers in real world physics (liberal applications of 'soft' because the setting literally says that the past tech was so advanced it is effectively magic) But quantum manipulation to twist probabilities, folded geometry as blade edges, stuff like that.

Koron: "So you made the universe." "Ya huh." "And intentionally ensured it was horrific, grimdark madness where suffering is expected, happy endings dont occur, and everyone dies painfully?" "I mean, I didn't make THAT (for legal reasons), but your personal suffering, yes." "....I'm going to...

Give them mannerisims. One smokes, another drums his fingers. One is bored and leaning on his arm, stuff like that to break up and differentiate them.

Its useful though for improving your writing.

In order? A paranoid woman with a gun. An angry magos. Necrons. A named space marine. A demonhost. A gravity well generator. And a chaos sorcerer. More to come as the story progresses.

Elissa is not meant to be a side character, but a co-protag. The early chapters are meant to help establish the characters and setting, which is why I stay out of Koron's POV for over thirteen chapters till I drop the revelations of who and what he is. And yeah, a mother with a history, a...

Thank you! And yeah, looking back I would have toned it down a bit on the end to make it more clear that it wasnt going that direction :D IDK if the audience dosnt want detailed descriptions, considering the gothic nature and high details that come out of 40k in general. And I dont use AI, its...

Fair enough, IDK if its just me, but I didnt write with the intent of trying to make it anything more than descriptions of the setting. Dress the set, you know?

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1915090/shadows-in-the-sand-warhammer-/ Always looking for feedback to improve, so any help is welcome :D