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Rough transition, the character feels like they teleported from the gate to the arena because there is no kinetic movement showing from the gate to the arena. It would take a paragraph of transition about the character's movement from the gate mouth to the arena. For example:

There are actually many criticisms I could make. But now I disike to burden authors with too many demands. I prefer to suggest the most crucial point that will have the greatest impact on your narrative.

Dude... after reading chapter 1 once, I noticed your narrative has a sudden POV shift problem that makes it prone to head hopping. Your narrative mixes a limited third POV (through Aegis) and an omniscient third POV that tries to explain the environmental conditions (the colossium?). As a...

I'm not sure, dude. The reader drop rate is incredibly high. Plus, the protagonist is very passive at the beginning (just sleeping). That's the kind of slow burn that causal readers tend to avoid.

Well, I completely understand position of my fiction.

It's indeed difficult to balance engagement on RR and SH. Generally, fiction that's popular on SH isn't necessarily popular on RR, and vice versa. These two platforms have different audience characteristics. RR is more masculine, while SH is more feminine. I've only encountered a few fictions...

This guideline is intended to indicate age-specific content ratings, not to require you to label every R18 content as explicitly sexual. Gore, sensitive content, and sexual content are indeed R18. But not every R18-rated fiction contains sexual content. This tag would be more relevant if you...

You should use content warning tags more wisely. If your fiction doesn't contain explicit sexual scenes, there's no need to include a sexual content warning. Readers could misunderstand.

https://forum.scribblehub.com/threads/mutual-reviews-for-web-novel-authors.27108/

It depends on the character's level of selfishness. If selfishness here is prioritizing oneself and one's loved ones while doing everything possible to avoid harming others, then this type of selfishness is more pragmatic. In the real world... this type of selfishness is common, not because of...

Dude... don't lie. In "content warning", your fiction clearly contains sexual content. Why do you claim otherwise?

Foreshadowing is a creative author's way of engaging readers in predicting the direction of the story. Also, you can use foreshadowing to give a plot twist. The number of chapters you skip to provide a pay off, revealation, depends on the complexity of the plot. Take One Piece, for example...

Using first POV doesn't automatically make it immersive. Often, authors understand POV as simply the pronoun "I am," not the lived experience of the "I am" subject. As a result, first POV is more likely to serve as meta-commentary explaining other characters, world-building, plot and conflict...

It seems we need to redefine text in images and images containing text.

You keep giving ambiguous answers and full of promises. If you're going to provide feedback, please be direct and honest! That will be more helpful to the authors than empty promises and praise. Also, I hope you don't give any strange service via e-mail and discord. Other members are watching you.

Try writing from a limited third POV first. If your narrative can provide a limited third POV through the protagonist, it will be more impactful. It may seem simple, but writing a limited third POV requires precision. You need to write the narrative from the perspective of the protagonist's...

I actually have a lot of criticism... but I don't want to burden you with too much criticism. I want you to focus on solving the most crucial issues before moving on to other narrative improvement points.

This kind of synopsis is more like a mini prologue but is still better than a story summary.

Dude... I don't understand why you wrote first POV and third POV in a chapter. What's your purpose in using 2 POVs in a chapter? It's not that it's wrong, but using 2 POVs without a clear narrative purpose can actually backfire, breaking the reader's immersion. If you want to build subtle...