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Time to post a story about jacking off.

My town has stories about the local family who burned things down to claim on the insurance, but those are all sadly true.

I'm a simple guy: I see AI, I vomit.

Nice opening. Is this the angel? Not immediately clear. I'm wondering why she doesn't acknowledge him or respond? What does she gain by staying silent? I don't love how clunky this exposition is. I'd like more internal detail on what's prompted this change. End the dialogue with comma...

https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2176067/a-womans-desire/ https://www.scribblehub.com/series/2176004/the-impossible/ Have away, Jaws.

Exactly. It's degrading to both parties to think that friendship can't happen. I could go on a whole soapbox rant about how our society doesn't value friendship in the way it values romance, but tldr; it's real shitty to talk about being "just friends" like friendship is a consolation prize that...

This is why I fucking hate When Harry Met Sally.

Some write to receive hate, some to tell a good story.

Dude, what :blob_joy: To be fair, you're not wrong, I did work as a slush pile reader and then freelance editor for a lit agent and a couple of publishers.

Queerness in a Disney film? They notoriously only include brief mentions of queerness that can easily be cut out so the films can be distributed in China. Brokeback Mountain is excellent.

I'm interested if people have examples of characters whose only personality trait is their queerness, as that seems to be the consensus of what we don't want to see. Conversely, what are some good examples of well-rounded queer characters?

Orrrrr consider that gay characters can exist even without a specific reason, just like the heteros can? And consider that there's a lot more to partnerships than fucking?

I know nothing about either of these things, so probably won't be in the best place to give feedback on that.

Perhaps I have a different reading style idk. If I was approaching the chapter as an editor I'd go over it more than once and collate my thoughts and impressions into a proper manuscript report. But I only have my reader hat on, not my editorial hat, so you're getting my approach as a reader...

I prefer writing my comments as I go as it gives an author an idea of my impressions as a reader progressing through the story. But feel free to mention you'd prefer a specific style of feedback if you ask here again.