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You can read it when you're in a good mood; this chapter is quite sensitive. It's not recommended for readers who are not mentally prepared.

If you'd like, please read my feedback thread. I'd love to hear your honest thoughts. All you have to do is answer four questions after reading a chapter. https://forum.scribblehub.com/threads/feedback-for-handling-sensitive-content.27304/

It's pretty good. The narrative has avoided the white space syndrome. But I still have a hard time visualizing Zerra's fight scenes against the enemy because the visualization of Zerra's appearance is limited (they're demons, after all, right?). And the transition between Zerra and Aegis's...

To be honest, your narrative suffers from head-hopping and white space syndrome. Well, blurry scenes. Readers have a hard time perceiving the scenes, at least based on my reading experience.

The only action I remember was Aegis gambling and it looked like there was going to be a fight in the colosseum.

Well, I'm giving my honest impression after reading this narrative without any feedback (constructive suggestions). As a casual reader who reads it in one go... a brief impression, I was confused. I felt confused about who was talking, who they were, and what they were doing. The narrative...

Please use english!

It's good enough. But you can make the prose shorter but more impactful. For example: The initial narration: Revised narration: You don't need to narrate "...caused by the impact" because the previous action narrative already explains the cause of the wound. Let the reader interpret your...

What does banned mean? I really don't know.:blob_hmm_two::sweating_profusely:

Readers won't be confused if you provide unique character identification, clear relative positions of related characters, and clear spatial and temporal context. Furthermore, you can utilize the narrative camera to adjust zoom in and out during fighting. This will help avoid confusion and...

As a causal reader, I can understand the course of the fight. But I don't feel the tension. Why? Because your narrator explains how the fight occurs. As a reader, I feel like I'm reading a report of the battle but I don't 'feel the blows'. If you want to create tension in your reader, you might...

The relationship between author, fiction, and reader is like a symbolic contract. The author provides a narrative to the reader. Readers know the narrative is "fictional," but they are willing to be bound by the "lie" to achieve a sense of experience. Reading fiction means allowing the lie to...

You need to filter feedback more selectively, dude. You can differentiate between taste criticism (whether I liked this story or not) and technical criticism (such as pacing, prose, narrative style, POV, etc). Generally, taste criticism isn't helpful if you're trying to build a world that...

Since I love using onomatopoeia as an audio sensory effect in narration... I support this feature.

A bug:

No comment (well, it's a comment). My fictions are still ongoing...