I need an opinion on a particular scene that includes action and interaction between characters. I would appreciate it if you tell me what you felt while reading, only your feeling not feedback. Thanks
Aegis passed many young fiends and corrupted as he moved forward. Some sneered, others did not care enough. Finally, he reached the tunnel’s end. It opened into a massive area, brightly lit enough to see what was happening. The crowd was more than usual today.
The crowd cheered as a fight went on between two fiends on a metal floor in the centre, suspended by multiple hooks. Chains rattled as the fiends scraped the fence around the centre... Aegis paid no attention.
Where is he? Aegis looked for his friends as he examined each face in the crowd. Soon, he found his friend.
Aegis pushed through the crowd.
A pale-red-skinned fiend leaned against a wall beside a sealed tunnel, arms folded, watching the fight. He scratched his short horns.
“Kel!” he called out.
His friend turned toward him with one eyebrow up. “What are you—”
“Doing here?” Aegis finished it for him and continued, “A kind stranger gave me four gold coins.”
Kaelran stared at him, “Let me guess, you robbed someone?”
Aegis met his gaze, and a smirk spread across his face.
“…you know me well”
Before his friend could speak. Aegis interrupted him, “I will tell you what happened later. Where is she?”
Chains rattled as something heavy crashed into them in the centre.
Kaelran jerked his chin toward the centre.
A bull-horned fiend slipped on the metal floor. As a dark-red-skinned fiend stood across him, she brushed stray hair into her bun.
Zerra cracked her knuckles. “Are we done?” She wiped blood from her lip and grinned.
A Loud growl echoed as her opponent picked himself up.
Metal groaned as her opponent’s hooves scraped as he charged recklessly toward her. But Zerra did not move; instead, she braced herself. Her two backward horns glowed bright red.
A loud noise filled the arena as he was about to smash into her. But before he could ram into her, Zerra tilted her body slightly and wrapped her hands around his neck.
The arena was filled with her opponent’s grunts. The metal floor groaned beneath her as metal boots slid slightly.
Spectators howled for more.
“Break his horns!”
“Claw his eyeballs out!”
The arena anticipated her victory, as the odds were with her. A low grumble vibrated from her throat as she tightened her fists.
And drove it in his ribs.
CRACK
A roar thundered as he fell onto the floor and held his ribs.
Aegis sneered as he leaned onto the railings. “Show-off.”
Kaelran leaned beside him. “She enjoys wasting our time.”
“Did you bet?” Aegis turned toward his friend.
Kaelran shook his head.
Aegis left his friend, saying, “I’ll return in a moment.”
Kaelran rolled his eyes as Aegis left.
He shoved through the crowd, wanting not to step on someone, even so—
“ACKKK!” Someone groaned behind him, but Aegis shrugged and kept moving.
Soon, he stood before a wooden table and a corrupted dwarf. Aegis took his pouch out and said, “What are the odds?”
The dwarf sneered. “Can’t you read, you stillborn?”
Aegis scoffed. This midget.
He glanced at the odds board beside the table.
“five-to-fifteen on zerra, Not worth it.”
“Five-to-fifty on Morag.”
Aegis slammed his fist on the table. “Ten silver on Morag.”
The dwarf raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Aegis snapped back.
Coins clanked as the dwarf took them. “Don’t come back begging.”
Aegis went back to Kaelran and said, “Cubed belly.”
Kaelran unfolded his arms. “Again?”
Aegis nodded, and they both left for the stall that stood across the arena.
…
Zerra knelt as she struggled to catch her breath; her opponent still clutched his ribs. She straightened her shoulders and smirked. “Even grogs move faster than you.”
Morag roared as her words reached him. “You bitch, I will tear limb from limb!” He lunged forward. The floor thundered under his hooves.
Zerra stepped forward to grapple him again, but Morag slammed into her and wrapped his arms around her torso.
“ACKK!” Zerra’s fist landed on his broken rib multiple times. But his arms were still wrapped tight.
His grip grew stronger as his snarls turned predatory. Zerra’s face turned pale. He was trying to crush her.
She dropped backwards on the floor. Her opponent’s eyes turned red as his grip tightened. However, before he could crush her, she planted her boots on his stomach, and then she kicked.
Morag fell a dozen feet away from her.
THUD
His head hit the floor first. Zerra picked herself up. She panted heavily. She may have bought herself a few moments.
Her orange eyes swept the crowd as they halted on a cambion. Aegis waved his arm with a fork, a red cube of meat stuck on it.
Zerra rolled her eyes as she looked at it.
Kaelran spoke behind him, “You will get us caught someday.”
Aegis still waved, “Someday, but not today.”
Zerra turned back as Morag stood up. His eyes were no longer red.
Morag slammed his hooves,
THUD…THUD…
The floor groaned.
He lunged forward again. But Zerra stepped back. A few strands of hair fell onto her nose.
She tried to spread her legs, but her heel was stuck in a hole.
THUD…THUD..THUD…
Her leather tunic tore in a few places as Morag slammed into her. For a moment, she was floating in the air.
THUD
She fell onto the floor.
Aegis smiled as the cheers died down.
The crowd cheered as a fight went on between two fiends on a metal floor in the centre, suspended by multiple hooks. Chains rattled as the fiends scraped the fence around the centre... Aegis paid no attention.
Where is he? Aegis looked for his friends as he examined each face in the crowd. Soon, he found his friend.
Aegis pushed through the crowd.
A pale-red-skinned fiend leaned against a wall beside a sealed tunnel, arms folded, watching the fight. He scratched his short horns.
“Kel!” he called out.
His friend turned toward him with one eyebrow up. “What are you—”
“Doing here?” Aegis finished it for him and continued, “A kind stranger gave me four gold coins.”
Kaelran stared at him, “Let me guess, you robbed someone?”
Aegis met his gaze, and a smirk spread across his face.
“…you know me well”
Before his friend could speak. Aegis interrupted him, “I will tell you what happened later. Where is she?”
Chains rattled as something heavy crashed into them in the centre.
Kaelran jerked his chin toward the centre.
A bull-horned fiend slipped on the metal floor. As a dark-red-skinned fiend stood across him, she brushed stray hair into her bun.
Zerra cracked her knuckles. “Are we done?” She wiped blood from her lip and grinned.
A Loud growl echoed as her opponent picked himself up.
Metal groaned as her opponent’s hooves scraped as he charged recklessly toward her. But Zerra did not move; instead, she braced herself. Her two backward horns glowed bright red.
A loud noise filled the arena as he was about to smash into her. But before he could ram into her, Zerra tilted her body slightly and wrapped her hands around his neck.
The arena was filled with her opponent’s grunts. The metal floor groaned beneath her as metal boots slid slightly.
Spectators howled for more.
“Break his horns!”
“Claw his eyeballs out!”
The arena anticipated her victory, as the odds were with her. A low grumble vibrated from her throat as she tightened her fists.
And drove it in his ribs.
CRACK
A roar thundered as he fell onto the floor and held his ribs.
Aegis sneered as he leaned onto the railings. “Show-off.”
Kaelran leaned beside him. “She enjoys wasting our time.”
“Did you bet?” Aegis turned toward his friend.
Kaelran shook his head.
Aegis left his friend, saying, “I’ll return in a moment.”
Kaelran rolled his eyes as Aegis left.
He shoved through the crowd, wanting not to step on someone, even so—
“ACKKK!” Someone groaned behind him, but Aegis shrugged and kept moving.
Soon, he stood before a wooden table and a corrupted dwarf. Aegis took his pouch out and said, “What are the odds?”
The dwarf sneered. “Can’t you read, you stillborn?”
Aegis scoffed. This midget.
He glanced at the odds board beside the table.
“five-to-fifteen on zerra, Not worth it.”
“Five-to-fifty on Morag.”
Aegis slammed his fist on the table. “Ten silver on Morag.”
The dwarf raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” Aegis snapped back.
Coins clanked as the dwarf took them. “Don’t come back begging.”
Aegis went back to Kaelran and said, “Cubed belly.”
Kaelran unfolded his arms. “Again?”
Aegis nodded, and they both left for the stall that stood across the arena.
…
Zerra knelt as she struggled to catch her breath; her opponent still clutched his ribs. She straightened her shoulders and smirked. “Even grogs move faster than you.”
Morag roared as her words reached him. “You bitch, I will tear limb from limb!” He lunged forward. The floor thundered under his hooves.
Zerra stepped forward to grapple him again, but Morag slammed into her and wrapped his arms around her torso.
“ACKK!” Zerra’s fist landed on his broken rib multiple times. But his arms were still wrapped tight.
His grip grew stronger as his snarls turned predatory. Zerra’s face turned pale. He was trying to crush her.
She dropped backwards on the floor. Her opponent’s eyes turned red as his grip tightened. However, before he could crush her, she planted her boots on his stomach, and then she kicked.
Morag fell a dozen feet away from her.
THUD
His head hit the floor first. Zerra picked herself up. She panted heavily. She may have bought herself a few moments.
Her orange eyes swept the crowd as they halted on a cambion. Aegis waved his arm with a fork, a red cube of meat stuck on it.
Zerra rolled her eyes as she looked at it.
Kaelran spoke behind him, “You will get us caught someday.”
Aegis still waved, “Someday, but not today.”
Zerra turned back as Morag stood up. His eyes were no longer red.
Morag slammed his hooves,
THUD…THUD…
The floor groaned.
He lunged forward again. But Zerra stepped back. A few strands of hair fell onto her nose.
She tried to spread her legs, but her heel was stuck in a hole.
THUD…THUD..THUD…
Her leather tunic tore in a few places as Morag slammed into her. For a moment, she was floating in the air.
THUD
She fell onto the floor.
Aegis smiled as the cheers died down.
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