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sad that the author is gone, but not guilty because we don't leave mean comments

It tastes like soap. Don't let these liars fool you. It does not taste like citrusy freshness, it tastes bitter and metallic.

We would be honored to join you as an ally, our cocoa companion. The others could do with being cut down a peg or two or even three. We think it would be interesting to have the interaction from Our perspective in one chapter, as well as one from your perspective. Perhaps we will do a little...

but you could be one, if you only accept

Oh no. Something's telling us that we shouldn't have accepted a gift from a trickster being. AAAAAAAAAAHHH IT'S STUCK TO OUR SUCKERS GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFFFFFF

Active: Shapeshifting. Would love to be able to freely shift our form as we please. Need a tool and it's too far to reach? Grow a third limb! Do your bones hurt? Get rid of em! Wanna be made of plants or see behind you? Easy peasy! Wanna explore the world as a bug does? Shrink! Breath...

Ahahaha! Thanks for the free hat, sucker!

We know we do! Fluffy little adorable spooder butts! Fuzzy little tarantulas, with eight main limbs, eight eyes, and impressive bilateral hydraulically powered symmetry! Of course, they cannot hold a candle to us cephalopods when it comes to flexibility, camouflage, and intelligence.

Oh, believe us when we say that you two are but two points of data in our lengthy (s)hit list. Besides, it will be easy. Your illusion of invincibility is your weakness. We will merely be acting in our role of Student Councilmember Quagma, Chaos Containment Controller, as well as our regular...

Careful throwing those "Bruh"s around, we hear they deal quite a lot of bruh-nt force trauma

Good morning! We were also planning on canonizing this event as well! Great minds think alike, as they say! We were focusing on writing chapters for our actual fiction for a while there, but we think we'll take a little time to write a Scribble high chap. The chapter where we kill all the...

Good night

Potayto potahto. Without Us, probability doesn't stand a chance.

[Against all reason, you have survived flirting with a conceptual entity of chance and imaginary numbers.] [For your efforts, you have been awarded the following:] [Hearts +2] [Sanity Resistance LV. 3] [Abstraction Resistance LV. 1] [Luck +7] [CHARM +999 (MAXED OUT, LV 10)] [DEF +5] [New...

So the cat curse returns? Careful with that, kit spreads memeowtically. Toe bean pawful fur it to return once nyagain... One meowment, fleas. expurrgitating meowmetic cattamination.

The changing of chance is within Our wheelhouse. Those who manipulate luck merely do so with Our blessing, a blessing that We can, and will, revoke for laughs and giggles whenever it pleases Us. Fate dances to Our tune, and Ours alone. The future, the past, the present, the Here, the There...

We admit, we have been paying attention to other matters as of late. You may have tentacles now, but do you know how to use them? The chances of anything happening are rarely exactly zero. Improbable, perhaps, such as the odds of a fully intact brain in a jar spontaneously forming in the...

nothing. we would simply change the number we use. even the number 1 can be broken up into infinite parts. we exist in those chairs not for our sake, but for the sake of those who wish to organize the world around them into neat and orderly categories. we are conforming to the rules of the world...

as our chair does not exist in realspace, we've arbitrarily assigned ourselves the πth chair. each digit of pi serves as a single chair for a single Self. as our bodies are endless, so too is our socially required need for chairs. we do not physically require them, as our position in the...

Idk, greninja the pokemon is a frog AND a ninja. You could totally make it work!