Azhurie_Mythephan

Azhurie_Mythephan

Quelk 21 From Aeremetherlem'oeth
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  • Azhurie_Mythephan
    When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark. Later, I realized that the scariest thing in that dark room was me. The scariest thing in the room right now, however, is the kidney stone inside of my right ureter. It hurts so fucking bad, make it stop.
    Azhurie_Mythephan

    Oh, no... anyway...
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    Alski
    Alski
    Why did they take his electronics away?
    ShrimpShady
    ShrimpShady
    To unplug him from the domimatrix
    D
    Deleted member 206441
    @Alski, some of the devices were used to film himself having sex with the dominatrices and were held by the authorities as evidence. Since the case is now closed, the devices were ordered to be returned to the priest.
    the judge also told authorities to erase all data from the devices and storage media as a precaution against videos taken of the tryst from becoming public."
    Click to expand...
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    About 8 minutes ago, I was arguing with one of my siblings who doesn't know his *ss from a hole in the ground, and I am not so good at eyesight. Usually I look at the floor while walking so I can get some semblance of knowledge of where I'm about to place my foot. I didn't this time, because I was arguing with someone, and it is disrespectful to talk to someone while not looking at them.
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    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    So, I accidentally slit almost the entire right side of my left foot open. I do not have bandages, so the next best thing is 2 socks designed for people with diabetes, or for people who have feet larger than the regular socks have sizes for. I am no longer bleeding, but it still hurts. I just put an entire pair of socks on one foot.
    Prince_Azmiran_Myrian
    Prince_Azmiran_Myrian
    ? ?
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    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Can't type worth a shit after earlier, I made seven mistakes in this line alone.
    Any and all truly essential functions are still operational, so, I guess I'll be fine, just like after the last one(didn't go to the doctor after that one either). I made thirty-four mistakes on this sentence as well as the previous one, which is far more than I usually make by at least ten times.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    About 50 minutes ago, I was sitting in my desk chair browsing coin auctions, and i suddenly felt like either the air in my room didn't have enough oxygen, or the air had too many poisonous gasses. I felt cold, and short of breath, and I bolted outside, because otherwise, I'm certain I would have passed out and probably died otherwise.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Airing out the room through the windows, and right now I feel like I'm having a miniature stroke.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Update: I think i'm fine now... Minus the ability to walk in a straight line, because I can't do that anymore, and also the vision in my left eye is now worse than the right one, despite it having been the better one for a long time. Also, my shirt feels tighter around my chest, not tightness in my chest, but the shirt feels tighter on my chest. If I take it off, it feels fine.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    The knight in shining armor is there to rescue the princess from the dragon... Or so the knight was told, but really, the king just doesn't want to fulfill his end of the contract he made with the dragon for the protection of his country. He promised the dragon his daughter's hand in marriage, and the dragon was delighted, so of course he agreed to protect the country.
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    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    The princess grew tired of living on the castle grounds, being unable to ever set foot outside of them and see what the world really looks like. She asked the dragon, who was on his regular diplomatic mission, if he would take her away from all of her troubles. He did without hesitation, for who would want to see the one they love feeling troubled?
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Seventeen odd years later, the king is getting old, and has sent more than 50 brave knights over the years to try and take back his daughter, but she has already had two daughters and a son.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Some of them realized that they were in the wrong, opting to go home instead, and others have tried to separate the dragon and the princess, only to lose their life, for the King's daughter is no longer a princess, but the dragon's Queen.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    A father sits in the passenger seat of his son's Cybertruck(eww... Tesla...), which was purchased last month, and he asks his son next to him, "What did you do in here with your girlfriend that made this car smell so Musky?"
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    The █████████████████████████████████████████ has approved your request for change of assignment at their regular Board Meeting from previous assignment: █████████████████, ███ days to new assignment: ███████████████████████████████████, ███ days.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I just checked the time, and it said 8:20, and all the other clocks in the room said the same, and I thought, "damn... Too late for me to order pizza now..." But about 5 second after, I checked the time and it said 8:10, and I went downstairs to check. It is 8:15 right now. Seems like I died again.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Call me paranoid, but my younger brother was messing around on the internet, and he got many viruses on his phone, so I took it away and turned off it's Wi-Fi and cell service, and put it in airplane mode, before taking it and putting it in a US army helmet from the Vietnam War, which happens to be painted with lead paint, and I know that it's lead because I licked it to check. Lead blocks these kind of signals.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I would like to say that I was and was not, am and am not, will and will not be, could and could not, could and could not be, would and would not, would and would not be, should and should not, should and should not be, do and do not, can and can not, can and can not be, exist everywhere and nowhere, do not exist everywhere or anywhere, all at once, always, everywhere, and not ever, never, nowhere.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I am fucking terrified right now, and it's because I saw a ghost when I was making my big glass of chocolate milk, and the light flickered twice when I was on my way back up to my bedroom, and I know that this isn't the sleep deprivation talking, because these things happen often, even when i'm not sleep deprived.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I was eating cornflakes two days ago(haven't slept in two days without realizing it), and my mother walked into the kitchen and said, "who's fucking you?" and I was genuinely confused, because I didn't realize that I make muffled sensual moans while I eat cornflakes. I haven't eaten cornflakes in years, but just decided to that day, and wasn't expecting this.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Every single time my oldest younger brother gets a fever, he has Vietnam War flashbacks. He screams out for his comrades, only to cry desperately a moment later.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I was drinking a soda, and eating some watermelon, and I just decided that I was going to check my news feed, and the first thing I see causes me to start laughing, and choking, so hard that I thought I was going to die. It's still funny.
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    JayMark
    JayMark
    You never licked a 9-volt? You haven't lived.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I did lick a Lego PowerFunctions electric motor's electrical contacts once, while I was rotating a gear on an axle connected to the motor. Zapped my tongue really hard, however, I only did this because I found out how motors could work in reverse, accepting rotation to generate electricity.
    JayMark
    JayMark
    You won't get the alkaline flavor that way.
    Azhurie_Mythephan
    I was going to sit at my computer for a bit, but then I walked over to the desk, and forgot that there is a 30 lb watermelon sitting in my chair. That chair is the only one in the house that doesn't cut off my circulation when I sit on it. Even the couches commit evil against me, unless I lay on them instead of sitting. I can't see what the keyboard says from my height, even with my glasses on.
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