Azhurie_Mythephan

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 27, 2025

The knight in shining armor is there to rescue the princess from the dragon... Or so the knight was told, but really, the king just doesn't want to fulfill his end of the contract he made with the dragon for the protection of his country. He promised the dragon his daughter's hand in marriage, and the dragon was delighted, so of course he agreed to protect the country.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 27, 2025

A father sits in the passenger seat of his son's Cybertruck(eww... Tesla...), which was purchased last month, and he asks his son next to him, "What did you do in here with your girlfriend that made this car smell so Musky?"

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 26, 2025

The █████████████████████████████████████████ has approved your request for change of assignment at their regular Board Meeting from previous assignment: █████████████████, ███ days to new assignment: ███████████████████████████████████, ███ days.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 26, 2025

I just checked the time, and it said 8:20, and all the other clocks in the room said the same, and I thought, "damn... Too late for me to order pizza now..." But about 5 second after, I checked the time and it said 8:10, and I went downstairs to check. It is 8:15 right now. Seems like I died again.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 25, 2025

Unless you are an American or Aushephexiiv, your cheese is not petroleum based.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 24, 2025

Call me paranoid, but my younger brother was messing around on the internet, and he got many viruses on his phone, so I took it away and turned off it's Wi-Fi and cell service, and put it in airplane mode, before taking it and putting it in a US army helmet from the Vietnam War, which happens to be painted with lead paint, and I know that it's lead because I licked it to check. Lead blocks these kind of signals.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 24, 2025

I would like to say that I was and was not, am and am not, will and will not be, could and could not, could and could not be, would and would not, would and would not be, should and should not, should and should not be, do and do not, can and can not, can and can not be, exist everywhere and nowhere, do not exist everywhere or anywhere, all at once, always, everywhere, and not ever, never, nowhere.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

I am fucking terrified right now, and it's because I saw a ghost when I was making my big glass of chocolate milk, and the light flickered twice when I was on my way back up to my bedroom, and I know that this isn't the sleep deprivation talking, because these things happen often, even when i'm not sleep deprived.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

I was eating cornflakes two days ago(haven't slept in two days without realizing it), and my mother walked into the kitchen and said, "who's fucking you?" and I was genuinely confused, because I didn't realize that I make muffled sensual moans while I eat cornflakes. I haven't eaten cornflakes in years, but just decided to that day, and wasn't expecting this.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

Every single time my oldest younger brother gets a fever, he has Vietnam War flashbacks. He screams out for his comrades, only to cry desperately a moment later.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 23, 2025

I was drinking a soda, and eating some watermelon, and I just decided that I was going to check my news feed, and the first thing I see causes me to start laughing, and choking, so hard that I thought I was going to die. It's still funny.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 20, 2025

my new kitten, leaning on me.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 20, 2025

I was going to sit at my computer for a bit, but then I walked over to the desk, and forgot that there is a 30 lb watermelon sitting in my chair. That chair is the only one in the house that doesn't cut off my circulation when I sit on it. Even the couches commit evil against me, unless I lay on them instead of sitting. I can't see what the keyboard says from my height, even with my glasses on.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 19, 2025

I have awoken, and my split lip healed wrong, so I tore it again, but this time, on purpose, so that I can get it to heal right.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 19, 2025

I split my lower lip. It hurts when I smile or eat salt.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 17, 2025

The first time I gained consciousness was at my parent's wedding. After that, the next time was around Christmas, when I ate all of the lead paint off of an antique Christmas ornament. The lead paint was kind of sweet, and was almost enough, by the time's standards, to give me lead poisoning. Current standards, however, have me getting lead poisoning.

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 16, 2025

The sword of time will pierce our skin~♪
It doesn't hurt when it begins~♪
But as it works its way on in~♪
The pain grows stronger~♪
Watch it grin~♪

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 16, 2025

If you wash your mouth out with soap, is the soap dirty, or is your mouth clean?

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 15, 2025

Whenever you feel sad, just remember, It could be worse... there are people in Canada... Japan is a place, and people live there...

• 

  Azhurie_Mythephan

• Aug 14, 2025

First time I read that kind of story, it was the demons from hell, next was the demons from the red fog, then we had the demons from another universe, now, we have the demons from the abyss. Why is it always demons as the world enemy with these secretly not-so-secretly super overworked Chinese writer guy mans? Bruh, the humans were more evil to each other than even the demons in hell in the first one I read.