I seem to have grown another butt.
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Husband: There's water everywhere.
Me: Just be thankful our toddler has a self-cleaning mode.
Toddler: No I don't. I only have a wash mode.
Please give me ideas to convince my kid to taste hummus.
This cardboard chair is better for the planet Earth, so we will live forever.
Kid: If we drill holes in the hose, we won't have to use the sprinkler. *runs outside*
'o'
You changed your username!
What made you pick caution?
X
I did it carefully.
what did your kid do for mothers day.
Grandma . . . I mean Mama . . . I mean Dada . . . This music is making me dance, not eat.
I just watched Chillar Party on Netflix. It's marked as Leaving Soon. The kid wasn't interested in it because he can't read well enough for subtitles yet, but it's certainly a hidden gem I found only after blocking all of the mindless drivel on the kid's account.
Me: You need to get dressed before you see Grandma and Grandpa.
Kid: *one sandal on, other foot on dustpan, holding long dustpan handle and broom* But I'm designed like this!
No pinkis. No greenis. No blueis. No redis.
RepresentingParenthood when?
Mama, you are too big to fit down the hole in the drain.
*huggles*
\(^o^)/
Hope you've been doing well!
Hope the little one is as well.
Or, would he be considered a little one, still...?
Well, probably.
At least compared to us.
\o/
X
Me: Can you please hold this bowl on your legs to warm up the butter? We need it at room temperature.
Kid: My scrotum is warm and not my legs, so I will put it on my scrotum.
Drop your clothes . . . Stomp! Stomp on your clothes! Drop your hat!
^what happens when you give a boy dolls
Kid: Mama, why does the bathtub look like that?
Me: Your dad calked it.
Kid: Don't touch cock. Hahahaha. Touch cock touch cock. Hahahahaha. *kisses my leg. Runs away*
Kid: I taste like poop.
Me: Why do you taste like poop?
Kid: Just lick me.
Me. I don't want to taste poop. Please take a bath before I lick you.
Kid woke up Dada at 1am by frying lumpia (from the freezer) and banging his spatula on the pan during the process. Before the lumpia, used toilet paper to wrap one of his toys as a present for Grandpa, made a card for him, and wrapped another toy with scrap paper. Before that, he fried a hash brown. -
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