How to write popsicle sucking scene?

[eagle_360]

No innocent minds allowed past this section.

---

Recently, I've written a NSFW chapter on Popsicle eating and with my years of infinite wisdom and experience. Cannot translate the feelings into words, therefore I need our dearest smut writers help to collate writing tips, how I should go about the emotions, reactions and feelings.

What am I missing for the secret sauce!?!? I can't find any reference materials from other authors.

Spoiler: Weirdo questions

So therefore, I have questions to both popsicle owners and popsicle users.


Owners :
1. When getting popsicle sucked, what are the feelings, is the mouth warmer, is it colder?
2. How much emotional turmoil do you go through if you feel sharp teeth?
3. Any fear of biting down and it goes bye bye?
4. Why do you keep going to grab hair?

Taste testers :
1. Do you typically feel more neutral? It ain't exactly a enjoyable.
2. What other taste have you experienced. Why is it always salty?
3. Have you tried pineapple flavored? I can't tell the difference.
4. How to get past the fear?

Just give me the run down on your writing techniques so I can edit my smut chapter accordingly.

 

[TheKillingAlice]

Just give me the run down on your writing techniques so I can edit my smut chapter accordingly.

I wouldn't say I have writing techniques to offer. Sexuality is one of the most "up to taste" topics, right after literal taste, in terms of food. It's like opinions and assholes - everybody's got one.
So, while realism is of utmost importance when it comes to a lot of things in writing, there's always a margin of suspension of disbelief. Logic and realism are important to immersion; that is true, but for topics like this one, I would advise not to focus on things like thinking too hard about why people do the things they do or how uncomfortable or disgusting something is.
Scenes that are pornographic in intent - and aren't meant to exist in order to carry character development or show the reader something about the character's mindset - aren't trying to be "realistic"; they're trying to sell a fantasy. It's easy to fall into ridiculous territory; that much is true. You should go by experience to some degree, but for the most part, just use your imagination and try to put yourself into someone else's shoes.
To convey feelings, you don't have to perfectly portray something in the way a man would, if you are a woman, or the other way around.
Someone who wants their smut to focus on how hard it is to force yourself to do something, or how disgusting the taste was, isn't going to hit the mark. Unless you wanted to make it feel awkward or volatile, then you can lean into it, but then it's a scene with a psychological or character-focused purpose that uses smut as a vehicle, not as its main focal point or end-goal. It's "Not Safe for Work" - which can mean absolutely anything - that's for sure, but it is not "Smut".
In the end, it depends on what you wish to portray. Take my input with a grain of salt, from someone who has written an abundance of smut, which may or may not be something you would even read, but was read by many people. Also, I'm asexual and an actual virgin.

 

[worldismyne]

What do you want your readers to feel about the scene? (arousal, laughter, fear, disgust, etc) That will be your guiding light for what adjectives you want to use and what you're focusing on.

Are you trying to showcase the character's vulnerability, desire, or care for the other person?

You're essentially writing a scene where one character is acting to give pleasure and the other to receive, unless they're reluctant to do so, they're going to be more hung up who/why the scene is happening then any unpleasantness. Unless your goal is to make the reader feel uncomfortable with what's happening, in which case you're on the right track already by adding hyper realism to the scene. That's generally not what smut readers are looking for though, it's more common in drama/trillers/horror.

For more a more romantic tone, focus on the positive/thrilling emotions and pleasure. For spicier, add physical descriptions showcasing what the character wants (where are they looking, touching, etc)

You also can change the act in the scene if that's what's snagging the momentum of the scene/relationship.

Spoiler: How to get over the fear...

Some people care more about making their partner feel good, than the momentary unpleasantness. Others enjoy being in a position where they are submitting to another person (either physically or psychologically), they find it enjoyable. If the taster has 0 control there's more of a chance the gag reflex will be triggered, it's natural to be afraid of that, but that's not always the case. You can have a scene where the 'taster' is in full control and the owner chooses to or can't move. That would build tension and the 'taster' wouldn't gag. In general, I don't recommend having anyone in a position where they're afraid during intimacy, fictional or otherwise. Thrill seeking yes, but if something is scary, both partners are no longer benefiting and someone's consent isn't being respected. If something hurts or is frightening, there needs to be a way for the vulnerable party to say 'no' or 'stop' and know they'll be heard. That's why BDSM involves things like safe words, and dark fantasy comes back to how 'good' something feels. As far as the scene writing, people will empathize with your characters, and if one is afraid then they'll feel scared/discomfort during the scene.

That said, if your character is anxious about being vulnerable, definitely highlight why they're pushing past it in the scene. Do they love the other lead that much? Are they pleasure seeking and it's a means to the end. Anything can be a character moment, but you definitely have to have them wanting to do what they're doing for the audience to cheer them on instead of worry.

 

[Thiris]

Firstly, I laughed too much reading your post. So I already thank you for that. I'm not a professional smut writer, but I have written smut scenes in both female and male pov. Of course, I have no fucking idea whether the male pov come remotely close to reality. I should probably ask some of my male friends to read it and give feedback on how far off I was. But I will do my best to answer your questions as a popsicle taster.

Spoiler: Weirdo answers

I actually love suckin' popsickles, so I don't feel neutral at all, ever. Firstly, about the taste. I mainly describe it as bitter or bittersweet; I have never actually thought it is salty. The only thing I have noticed affecting the taste is whether the popsicle owner smokes or not. The thought of pineapple-flavoured sounds pretty appealing though.

When writing a smut scene with sucking involved from the woman's perspective, I mainly focus on how the man reacts. Since that is the reason why I like tasting popsickles. I write how the male body tenses, the popsicle twitches, and how he shivers when a tongue slides around the crown. And how the sounds that the man makes affect the woman. How they rile her up or make her more needy or suck a little harder. How she grinds her thighs together, needing the friction since the sucking also arouses her.

I really can't comment on the fear part, since I haven't experienced that. In one of my novels, there is a scene where a virgin woman tastes the popsicle for the first time. Of course, then there is some kind of anxiety about doing that right. Or more like nervousness. But the need and want to please the man is still there, and also the excitement of experiencing how the popsicle tastes. And her nervousness slowly lessens as the man keeps praising her and guiding her.

And I think the general atmosphere of the scenes affects how I write them. Is the man in control? Is he basically just using the woman's mouth, basically aiming to make her gag and her eyes water? Or is the woman in control, teasing and moving slowly and seductively? So, like someone already said above, the writing depends on what kind of mood you want to create.

I have no idea if my ramblings helped at all, but there are some of my thoughts.

 

[DarkCrinkle]

Think about how it feels like being choked like orally kek
But make it emotionally sensual

 

[eagle_360]

What do you want your readers to feel about the scene? (arousal, laughter, fear, disgust, etc) That will be your guiding light for what adjectives you want to use and what you're focusing on.

Are you trying to showcase the character's vulnerability, desire, or care for the other person?

You're essentially writing a scene where one character is acting to give pleasure and the other to receive, unless they're reluctant to do so, they're going to be more hung up who/why the scene is happening then any unpleasantness. Unless your goal is to make the reader feel uncomfortable with what's happening, in which case you're on the right track already by adding hyper realism to the scene. That's generally not what smut readers are looking for though, it's more common in drama/trillers/horror.

For more a more romantic tone, focus on the positive/thrilling emotions and pleasure. For spicier, add physical descriptions showcasing what the character wants (where are they looking, touching, etc)

You also can change the act in the scene if that's what's snagging the momentum of the scene/relationship.

Spoiler: How to get over the fear...

Some people care more about making their partner feel good, than the momentary unpleasantness. Others enjoy being in a position where they are submitting to another person (either physically or psychologically), they find it enjoyable. If the taster has 0 control there's more of a chance the gag reflex will be triggered, it's natural to be afraid of that, but that's not always the case. You can have a scene where the 'taster' is in full control and the owner chooses to or can't move. That would build tension and the 'taster' wouldn't gag. In general, I don't recommend having anyone in a position where they're afraid during intimacy, fictional or otherwise. Thrill seeking yes, but if something is scary, both partners are no longer benefiting and someone's consent isn't being respected. If something hurts or is frightening, there needs to be a way for the vulnerable party to say 'no' or 'stop' and know they'll be heard. That's why BDSM involves things like safe words, and dark fantasy comes back to how 'good' something feels. As far as the scene writing, people will empathize with your characters, and if one is afraid then they'll feel scared/discomfort during the scene.

That said, if your character is anxious about being vulnerable, definitely highlight why they're pushing past it in the scene. Do they love the other lead that much? Are they pleasure seeking and it's a means to the end. Anything can be a character moment, but you definitely have to have them wanting to do what they're doing for the audience to cheer them on instead of worry.

We're in Smut Hub. Obviously, my goal is pure unadulterated lust. You seem to have most of the Popsicle eating scenarios covered which is nice.

Since the target : Childhood best friend. I'm not doing any reluctance. More like nervousness?

Got any clues?

Firstly, I laughed too much reading your post. So I already thank you for that. I'm not a professional smut writer, but I have written smut scenes in both female and male pov. Of course, I have no fucking idea whether the male pov come remotely close to reality. I should probably ask some of my male friends to read it and give feedback on how far off I was. But I will do my best to answer your questions as a popsicle taster.

Spoiler: Weirdo answers

I actually love suckin' popsickles, so I don't feel neutral at all, ever. Firstly, about the taste. I mainly describe it as bitter or bittersweet; I have never actually thought it is salty. The only thing I have noticed affecting the taste is whether the popsicle owner smokes or not. The thought of pineapple-flavoured sounds pretty appealing though.

When writing a smut scene with sucking involved from the woman's perspective, I mainly focus on how the man reacts. Since that is the reason why I like tasting popsickles. I write how the male body tenses, the popsicle twitches, and how he shivers when a tongue slides around the crown. And how the sounds that the man makes affect the woman. How they rile her up or make her more needy or suck a little harder. How she grinds her thighs together, needing the friction since the sucking also arouses her.

I really can't comment on the fear part, since I haven't experienced that. In one of my novels, there is a scene where a virgin woman tastes the popsicle for the first time. Of course, then there is some kind of anxiety about doing that right. Or more like nervousness. But the need and want to please the man is still there, and also the excitement of experiencing how the popsicle tastes. And her nervousness slowly lessens as the man keeps praising her and guiding her.

And I think the general atmosphere of the scenes affects how I write them. Is the man in control? Is he basically just using the woman's mouth, basically aiming to make her gag and her eyes water? Or is the woman in control, teasing and moving slowly and seductively? So, like someone already said above, the writing depends on what kind of mood you want to create.

I have no idea if my ramblings helped at all, but there are some of my thoughts.

Nice thoughts. Very sure the topic is very much on popsicles of different sizes, shape and favor. So mileage may vary.

Spoiler: Throwing Shade

I am a firm believer that most of the male smut authors here have no idea what they are talking about. None of their scenes make sense.

Any good reference materials in your book? Let me know if you got some nice chapters.

 

[worldismyne]

We're in Smut Hub. Obviously, my goal is pure unadulterated lust. You seem to have most of the Popsicle eating scenarios covered which is nice.

Since the target : Childhood best friend. I'm not doing any reluctance. More like nervousness?

Got any clues?




Nice thoughts. Very sure the topic is very much on popsicles of different sizes, shape and favor. So mileage may vary.

Spoiler: Throwing Shade

I am a firm believer that most of the male smut authors here have no idea what they are talking about. None of their scenes make sense.

Any good reference materials in your book? Let me know if you got some nice chapters.

Depends on who's initiating and when the characters confessed.

If it's your taster Thiris has excellent jumping off points for descriptions. Just paint that with the brush of the characters personal experience. Have they dreamt about this moment before, or is it a heat of the moment thing? Have they talked about taking the relationship down a serious turn, or are they acting because they might not have the courage to do so again? Is this them showing off how desirable they are or a play at making the other want them more?

If it's the owner, there's something to be said about how being desired can put someone in the mood. Bonus points if they're adding flattery, seduction, or praise to it. You don't have to go full "pick me", but they can get riled up at being asked to do something for someone they love and really wanting to nail it. Bonus points if they want to do more, but can't and this is the only taste they get at being close for the time being.

 

[Thiris]

We're in Smut Hub. Obviously, my goal is pure unadulterated lust. You seem to have most of the Popsicle eating scenarios covered which is nice.

Since the target : Childhood best friend. I'm not doing any reluctance. More like nervousness?

Got any clues?




Nice thoughts. Very sure the topic is very much on popsicles of different sizes, shape and favor. So mileage may vary.

Spoiler: Throwing Shade

I am a firm believer that most of the male smut authors here have no idea what they are talking about. None of their scenes make sense.

Any good reference materials in your book? Let me know if you got some nice chapters.

No promises if they are any good, but here are some of my smut scenes that include popsicle licking:

In female pov
In male pov
The one where she does it the first time

In all of them, the popsicle scene is about halfway through the chapter.

 

[greyblob]

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

This is Susan.

Susan is a dumbass.

She doesn't know how to suck on a popsicle so, she hawk tuah's on dat thang like the imbecile she is.

That is not a dick Susan. That is a popsicle.

^That's how I write it.

 

[CharlesEBrown]

Ah you want a "popsicle" licking scene not a "popsicle licking scene" - or a literal blow job rather than a suggestive eating of a popsicle? Could help with the latter, but not the former, beyond have a lot of meaningful eye contact before the first physical contact and frequently throughout before the ... ah ... stick is reached I guess, then the licker's focus tends to switch to the popsicle while the lickee has there attention absorbed by the experience until it is over.
I've heard the feeling is warm and the taste is either salty or bittersweet, depending on the diet of one participant and brain chemistry of the other (different sensory regions can be triggered on different people; its part of why cilantro tastes like soap to some people and like, well, cilantro to others).

 

[MFontana]

No innocent minds allowed past this section.

---

Recently, I've written a NSFW chapter on Popsicle eating and with my years of infinite wisdom and experience. Cannot translate the feelings into words, therefore I need our dearest smut writers help to collate writing tips, how I should go about the emotions, reactions and feelings.

What am I missing for the secret sauce!?!? I can't find any reference materials from other authors.

Spoiler: Weirdo questions

So therefore, I have questions to both popsicle owners and popsicle users.


Owners :
1. When getting popsicle sucked, what are the feelings, is the mouth warmer, is it colder?
2. How much emotional turmoil do you go through if you feel sharp teeth?
3. Any fear of biting down and it goes bye bye?
4. Why do you keep going to grab hair?

Taste testers :
1. Do you typically feel more neutral? It ain't exactly a enjoyable.
2. What other taste have you experienced. Why is it always salty?
3. Have you tried pineapple flavored? I can't tell the difference.
4. How to get past the fear?

Just give me the run down on your writing techniques so I can edit my smut chapter accordingly.

Short answer for now.
Sensation and Sensory detail are important, but so is the inter-character dynamic.
The reasons.
The intimacy.
The push-pull between the characters.
The build-up before, and the aftermath following.
And do not neglect the characterization or personalities of the characters in the scene.

While I haven't released any such scenes yet, I do have two that I'm also in the midst of writing, each with their own distinctive flavor.

I'll revisit this later and add what answers I can to your questions.

 

[Dawnathon]

Nice thoughts. Very sure the topic is very much on popsicles of different sizes, shape and favor. So mileage may vary.

Spoiler: Throwing Shade

I am a firm believer that most of the male smut authors here have no idea what they are talking about. None of their scenes make sense.

In the nicest way I can say it, a ton of male smut writers I've seen are writing from speculation, not from experience.

 

[MFontana]

I'll revisit this later and add what answers I can to your questions.

Spoiler: Weirdo questions

1. When getting dick sucked, what are the feelings, is the mouth warmer, is it colder?
2. How much emotional turmoil do you go through if you feel sharp teeth?
3. Any fear of biting down and it goes bye bye?
4. Why do you keep going to grab hair?

Spoiler: Answers

1) If you mean "what are the sensory details for how it feels?" then the answer is a fairly simple one. Beyond the intense pleasurable sensations, the mouth feels significantly warmer than the surrounding air. It is also often slick and moist, or for a lack of a better phrase, 'well-lubricated'. The pleasure-experience tends to build in waves. An ebb and flow, based on the movements of the 'giver'. Beyond that, it will be a distinctly different experience between partners, based on who they are, and how they go about it.
2) Emotional turmoil? I don't understand the question. Feeling teeth can cause pain, and is often something to be corrected (unless of course the subject is into that kind of thing). Generally though, and in my experience anyway, feeling teeth is a sign of inexperience, and something to address gently, but firmly, in the moment with quick dialogue.
3) Fear? No. Never. There is too much trust involved to allow for fear to have any voice in the matter. And if that trust isn't present, then just saying no is an option before anything even begins.
4) Grabbing the hair and/or head is a means of non-verbal communication and to convey the 'giver' encouragement while influencing the pace and depth. It creates an additional point of contact, and allows you to convey interest, and desire, without words. This often (in my experience) translates into encouragement and additional eagerness on the part of the 'giver' since it offers immediate positive reinforcement for what their doing, as well as a means of guiding them towards what feels most pleasurable in the moment.

Additionally, there is one other thing that I should probably point out.
When you're actually writing the scenes, don't use euphemisms like what you did for the forum topic here. Just write it as it is.
Not only can the euphemisms come across as childish, or silly, but they can also completely kill the narrative mood, eroticism, and inter-character tension and dynamic for the scene.

 

[FRWriter]

Spoiler: Weirdo questions

3. Have you tried pineapple flavored? I can't tell the difference.

Explain that one to me. Lol.

 

[TPumpkin]

Popsicle eating scene

Araragi no tooth brush scenes allowed here.

Jokes aside. Usually good smut often delivered the emotion and tension between the two characters.

Spoiler: For weirdo questions

Owners :
1. When getting popsicle sucked, what are the feelings, is the mouth warmer, is it colder?
2. How much emotional turmoil do you go through if you feel sharp teeth?
3. Any fear of biting down and it goes bye bye?
4. Why do you keep going to grab hair?

1. From sensation of touch. Mouth feels warm and moist. More feelings occur when taste tester moves tongue around. Sense of thrill, when taste tester goes "deeper" or is very eager. Some reason eye contact does weird heart things. A taste tester doing taste testing gives the impression, that that they desire you. Physical feeling overall is like a soft numbing/tingly buzz feeling.
2. Not really. But sometimes excitement.
3. No. Never thought about it when in the "zone" and body is on auto-drive with instincts. But usually I trust the taste tester to be careful and often they're more careful/mindful than me.
4. It's fun :V the manly urge to pull on long hair goes beyond the days of my forefathers who had their popsicle tasted.

Extra. Getting taste tested is different depending on the taste tester. Some are better than others, but there is a charm when the taste tester tries their best.

 

[CountVanBadger]

 

[Bimbanana]

HOW DID I MISSED THIS THREAD?!