They say that life can suddenly turn interesting. For me that's true, of course it would if you got hit by a truck and just as you think that it's the end, you found yourself woken up in an unfamiliar place. I got reincarnated. Period. However, not in a way...
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Thanks!
Cover&Title: cover made by Hans is always a welcome, although I'm not sure why its a cat man when the story is about a cat, which make readers curious about what will happen next. The title itself is simple and coveys what the general plotline is about. (5/5)
Synopsis: similar to the title, the description is simple and covey enough information, a reincarnation story. However, I think you can introduce a bit about the world the MC was reincarnated in, giving the readers another hook for the story (5/5)
Chapter: the plot has a nice pacing, although the second chapter went to another 1st POV which confused me for a bit, you should keep the MC's POV as the only first POV to make it easy to understand. Against about your pacing, it has a nice build up and set out the course for when the two characters meet, but you should build up more on the cat before the fateful meeting imo. (5/5)
Conclusion: you can cook, even if there are some rough edges, you have the potential for a good story.
Fate is a funny word. People love to play with its meaning and its applications. Some call it destiny, others call it inevitable, and a few tend to accompany it with worlds that give it direction. ‘Thread of Fate’ – ah, if fate were a thread, what would that mean? What...
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I bet you won't be finding the Title and the Synopsis informative at all, since its close to the end of the first volume (which is not out yet) that you get the idea of what they mean for the story itself. Regardless, I still want your opinion on them, so I have to thank you in advance. (I feel like I should add this but the first volume won't be big, it's not like I keep you in mystery regarding what the actual story is about. That would be counterintuitive.)
Cover&Title: the cover show who the MC would be, though I can't quite tell who the MC with just 5 chapters since all the introduced characters have potential to be the MC. Like you said, the title isn't informative at all, most people would think "huh, cool title" and move on, a bit generic imo. (3/5)
Synopsis: the description is usually the main hook for readers, which inform readers of what the story is about. Yours is more like a rambling or poem about Fate more than telling about the actual story, plus, it is too long and most people don't want to read a poem that tell them nothing much. (2/5)
Chapter: I think the prologue could use some work, you wanted to introduce the world as a conversation between two characters but you ran into the problem of info dumping giving out too much information in one go, most readers won't remember it. Instead, spread the information out as the story progress, or give a little bit about the world as a note before each chapter, having children as the ones who ask is a great way to do it, but not in one go. Now, the pacing is good but I think you need to show more in some aspect of the story, like show more on how Apollyon is liked by everyone, having people greet him and expresses their fondness. (4/5)
Conclusion: you can cook but you need more revisions to express more character, and spread your information out in digestible bites instead of shoving down the reader's throat.
