Why are you not making bacon?
When I worked for Bozzanna's, we made unhealthy food.
The heart attack on a bun.
2 pounds of hamburger.
3 types of cheese.
Six... TEEN pieces of deep... Fried... BACON.
All on a giant salty Kimmleweck roll.
The MEAT SUNDAE.
Take a soft taco shell.
Put it in a wire mesh.
DEEP FRY THE SHELL TO MAKE A BOWL.
Take strips of steak and chicken fajita meat.
Fill up the bowl 2/3rds
Sprinkle various types of cheese on top.
Sprinkle crumbled Deep Fried BACON on top of the cheese.
Put a MEATBALL ON A TOOTHPICK ON TOP LIKE A GODDAMN CHERRY.
Bake for 4 minutes at 525 until the cheese is just beginning to bubble and the edges of the bowl are singed.
Sprinkle with a touch of Wild Bill's INSANITY HOT SAUCE.
Serve Steaming HOT.
What do these culinary masterpieces have in common?
BACON
EAT BACON
EAT ALL THE BACON
And do you know why Bozanna's Chicken Wings was the ABSOLUTE BOMB???
Because we never changed the oil of the deep fat friar, after cooking all that...
BACON!!!!!
Have you ever had chicken wings deep-fried in about 70% regular cooking oil, and 30% Bacon Fat?
No?
YOU HAVE NOT LIVED.
I WEEP MANLY TEARS FOR YOU.
I.
WEEP.
(I will admit, after I quit that job, I did lose 30 pounds in 30 days, just from not eating there on my breaks.)