The Last to Comment Wins

[Azhurie_Mythephan]

Wah! The year is 2649. Wah!

 

[Anonjohn20]

Wah!

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am winning currently.

 

[Anonjohn20]

I see.

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am currently winning.

 

[Tempokai]

I'm not iwninng curerntly because I'm sick for the 3rd day

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am winning currently.

 

[JayMark]

moo

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am currently winning.

 

[Tempokai]

I'm winning currently by laying down like on a car to adjust the laser and my back is dusty because of it

 

[JayMark]

moo

 

[Tempokai]

I'm winning currently by eating khinkali and tsomyan

 

[Azhurie_Mythephan]

I'm winning by accidentally drinking high caffeine tea that I left to brew for two weeks before remembering that it existed, then accidentally staying up all night because of it.

 

[Tempokai]

I'm winning currently by drinking berry scented black tea

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am winning currently.

 

[Tempokai]

Because I Abstract
(Parody of Because I Got High)

Roll another concept
Yeah
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
(La-la-thought, thought-thought-ontology)
(La, thought, thought)
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la)

I was gonna clean my room until I got abstract
I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got abstract
Now I’m debating dust as a social construct, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna teach my class before I got abstract
I had a point, a text, and a thesis to unpack
Now I’m just asking if the syllabus exists, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna write my book before I got abstract
I had a title and a chapter plan, all neat and stacked
Now it’s twelve hundred pages on “perhaps,” and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna answer your question, but I got abstract
I had a simple yes or no, then the language cracked
Now I’m redefining “is” for six damn hours, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna go to lunch before I got abstract
I saw a sandwich on a plate, a basic little fact
Now I’m starving while I ponder bread-in-itself, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna call my mom before I got abstract
I meant to say “hello,” but the self got counter-mapped
Now I’m asking whether “mother” is a narrative, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna pay my rent before I got abstract
I had the checkbook in my hand, a concrete little act
Now I told my landlord money’s metaphysical, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I wasn’t gonna fight with the cops, but I was abstract
They said “ID,” I said the subject’s always split and lacked
Now I’m in the backseat screaming “law presumes a self,” and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got abstract
I started with desire, then eros got deconstructed flat
Now I’m alone, footnoting touch, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna sleep tonight, but then I got abstract
I closed my eyes, then dreamed the void was dialectically packed
Now I’m awake at dawn denying time, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I messed up my whole career because I got abstract
My peers all published facts while I attacked the fact of fact
Now adjunct wages are my horizon, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I lost my friends and lovers ’cause I got abstract
They asked me how I’ve been, I said “the question’s malformed, in fact”
Now nobody invites me out, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna end this song before I got abstract
But now the ending’s just a tyranny of closure, and that’s whack
If nobody buys this verse, well hell, I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I’m gonna stop singing this song because I got abstract
No, wait, the song sings me, and that’s the deeper track
And if this whole damn thing dissolves in discourse, I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

 

[ElijahRyne]

I am currently winning.

 

[Tempokai]

I'm winning currently by eating a mediocre oreo flavored ice cream in +8 evening