The Last to Comment Wins

Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1,397
Points
153
I'm winning currently by laying down like on a car to adjust the laser and my back is dusty because of it
 
Azhurie_Mythephan

Azhurie_Mythephan

Quelk
Joined
Oct 16, 2023
Messages
159
Points
133
I'm winning by accidentally drinking high caffeine tea that I left to brew for two weeks before remembering that it existed, then accidentally staying up all night because of it.
 
Tempokai

Tempokai

The Overworked One
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1,397
Points
153
Because I Abstract
(Parody of Because I Got High)

Roll another concept
Yeah
(Ooh-ooh-ooh)
(La-la-thought, thought-thought-ontology)
(La, thought, thought)
(La-la-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la-la)

I was gonna clean my room until I got abstract
I was gonna get up and find the broom, but then I got abstract
Now I’m debating dust as a social construct, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna teach my class before I got abstract
I had a point, a text, and a thesis to unpack
Now I’m just asking if the syllabus exists, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna write my book before I got abstract
I had a title and a chapter plan, all neat and stacked
Now it’s twelve hundred pages on “perhaps,” and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna answer your question, but I got abstract
I had a simple yes or no, then the language cracked
Now I’m redefining “is” for six damn hours, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna go to lunch before I got abstract
I saw a sandwich on a plate, a basic little fact
Now I’m starving while I ponder bread-in-itself, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna call my mom before I got abstract
I meant to say “hello,” but the self got counter-mapped
Now I’m asking whether “mother” is a narrative, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna pay my rent before I got abstract
I had the checkbook in my hand, a concrete little act
Now I told my landlord money’s metaphysical, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I wasn’t gonna fight with the cops, but I was abstract
They said “ID,” I said the subject’s always split and lacked
Now I’m in the backseat screaming “law presumes a self,” and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna make love to you, but then I got abstract
I started with desire, then eros got deconstructed flat
Now I’m alone, footnoting touch, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna sleep tonight, but then I got abstract
I closed my eyes, then dreamed the void was dialectically packed
Now I’m awake at dawn denying time, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I messed up my whole career because I got abstract
My peers all published facts while I attacked the fact of fact
Now adjunct wages are my horizon, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I lost my friends and lovers ’cause I got abstract
They asked me how I’ve been, I said “the question’s malformed, in fact”
Now nobody invites me out, and I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I was gonna end this song before I got abstract
But now the ending’s just a tyranny of closure, and that’s whack
If nobody buys this verse, well hell, I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract

I’m gonna stop singing this song because I got abstract
No, wait, the song sings me, and that’s the deeper track
And if this whole damn thing dissolves in discourse, I know why
’Cause I abstract, because I abstract, because I abstract
 
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