TheMonotonePuppet
A Puppet Colored by Medication
- Joined
- Apr 24, 2023
- Messages
- 2,839
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Just got fired from my job... or as it was put, terminated. There are wrongs on both sides, but there is a part of me that still wants to complain to someone, even if I might have gotten what was coming to me.
There was a new coworker (we'll call them A) that had been pushing my buttons really well. A was constantly demanding which task I should move to, with a harsh and aggressive tone that set off my nerves like nothing else. It was so freakin' stressful, and I already knew how to do my own work. They were ordering me, and constantly asking questions about what I was going to do, micromanaging me to the Stars and back. They could be really blunt and biting, pushing me to move faster, and when I couldn't switch from what I was doing or asked them to do something, they got visibly frustrated. Led to more than a few panic attacks.
As a bit of context for A's side, everyone in the kiosk took longer breaks than normal a lot. It could be frustrating, but easily ignorable. It happens. In addition, everyone (but me, and including A) would leave the kiosk to have fun talking, take smoking breaks, etc. Things were pretty lowkey, so I thought it was ok to let my breaks get longer than the allotted 30 min and 15 min breaks at times for mental reasons, and at times, admittedly to get a bite more of food (which happens plenty among the coworkers). As a result, I frustrated the new coworker A. The first day they met me and I went over the time, they immediately started cracking down on me for it. So they had that frustration building up, because even after I promised to remedy that, I was admittedly not flawless about it.
Then, Saturday, things came to a head. I accidentally lost track of time, going 10 minutes over my break, coping with serious mental distress. And I thought that since there was two in the kiosk, the new coworker A and my best friend at the time (we'll call them B), I did not need to absolutely, desperately, take my suicidal self off my break. I mean, I was going through mental hell.
When I got back, A left the floor to calm down for a bit. B left the floor as well, "to ask them a question." I was expecting it to not be too long, maybe 5 minutes (max 10 even though I was alone, with no backup, while they had the normal amount of coworkers during my break, it would still make sense) since we were are in the middle of rush.
Then it got longer.
And longer. And the orders start piling up. The kiosk line starts getting longer as I get buried. Neither of them comes back. When B was going to ask a question, I was thinking it would be relatively short and they would be back even if A wasn't.
When they finally come back, AFTER 15-20 MINUTES, I'm quite surprised they both were gone for so long. So I do want an explanation, and I explain they can even say if the explanation is they don't want to tell me because it's not my business.
Well... they give an explanation alright. A says, and I quote, "Well, I was feeling petty...", shrugging, "You shouldn't have taken so long, and we would not have done this." B is silent (who I later find out was not in on this and just wanted to calm A). I am aghast and betrayed at the sheer immaturity and pettiness on display. I ask why on Earth they would be so petty! Why not even ask why?! I explain that I was trying to calm down and avoid walking out into traffic, trying to avoid killing myself and cutting myself! I had been near a panic attack on top of that!
Oh, and by the way, I forgot something. I drank coffee. And for those of who don't know, that's bad. Caffeine heavily exacerbates my medication's side effects, which include bouts of rage and anxiety attacks.
This is important, you know? Especially when A completely tells me to just shut up and deal with it. He diminishes my problems completely, saying "You know, I have problems too, but that's what comes with work. You need to come to work and deal with it. It's just not how this works. You just need to ignore your problems and deal with them on your own time."
I explode. All I can see is Mom saying I am being selfish, cruel, and thoughtless for my depression and suicidal urges. All I can feel is my older sister betraying me. I am so fucking pissed off, and I curse them out once the customers aren't around the kiosk for the store's sake. I have literally never told someone to fuck off at work. I left the kiosk to go sweep bakery like I was asked earlier, and completely melt down. Apparently sweeping was fucking ambitious in my state, because the broom because the cane I need to use to get to the chair. I am absolutely hyperventilating, with my chest burning agonizingly. My vision is blurry as hell, and I am not even coherent, rambling and rocking back and forth. By the end, I have cut myself so many times on the arms that my arms are just wet with blood. If I had been less coherent, I would not be here.
I regret my outburst so much. I regret taking longer breaks so much. I apologized so much. It was not enough, and then I'm terminated for profanity on the sales floor to coworkers.
It takes the store four days to decide to terminate me, where they send me home every time I go for my shift, but lead me on. "I think you'll be able to continue work. We just need a doctor's note." "We just need your side of the story for records, send you home for today." I call them so I don't have to waste money and find out I'm terminated.
As a bit of context for A's side, everyone in the kiosk took longer breaks than normal a lot. It could be frustrating, but easily ignorable. It happens. In addition, everyone (but me, and including A) would leave the kiosk to have fun talking, take smoking breaks, etc. Things were pretty lowkey, so I thought it was ok to let my breaks get longer than the allotted 30 min and 15 min breaks at times for mental reasons, and at times, admittedly to get a bite more of food (which happens plenty among the coworkers). As a result, I frustrated the new coworker A. The first day they met me and I went over the time, they immediately started cracking down on me for it. So they had that frustration building up, because even after I promised to remedy that, I was admittedly not flawless about it.
Then, Saturday, things came to a head. I accidentally lost track of time, going 10 minutes over my break, coping with serious mental distress. And I thought that since there was two in the kiosk, the new coworker A and my best friend at the time (we'll call them B), I did not need to absolutely, desperately, take my suicidal self off my break. I mean, I was going through mental hell.
When I got back, A left the floor to calm down for a bit. B left the floor as well, "to ask them a question." I was expecting it to not be too long, maybe 5 minutes (max 10 even though I was alone, with no backup, while they had the normal amount of coworkers during my break, it would still make sense) since we were are in the middle of rush.
Then it got longer.
And longer. And the orders start piling up. The kiosk line starts getting longer as I get buried. Neither of them comes back. When B was going to ask a question, I was thinking it would be relatively short and they would be back even if A wasn't.
When they finally come back, AFTER 15-20 MINUTES, I'm quite surprised they both were gone for so long. So I do want an explanation, and I explain they can even say if the explanation is they don't want to tell me because it's not my business.
Well... they give an explanation alright. A says, and I quote, "Well, I was feeling petty...", shrugging, "You shouldn't have taken so long, and we would not have done this." B is silent (who I later find out was not in on this and just wanted to calm A). I am aghast and betrayed at the sheer immaturity and pettiness on display. I ask why on Earth they would be so petty! Why not even ask why?! I explain that I was trying to calm down and avoid walking out into traffic, trying to avoid killing myself and cutting myself! I had been near a panic attack on top of that!
Oh, and by the way, I forgot something. I drank coffee. And for those of who don't know, that's bad. Caffeine heavily exacerbates my medication's side effects, which include bouts of rage and anxiety attacks.
This is important, you know? Especially when A completely tells me to just shut up and deal with it. He diminishes my problems completely, saying "You know, I have problems too, but that's what comes with work. You need to come to work and deal with it. It's just not how this works. You just need to ignore your problems and deal with them on your own time."
I explode. All I can see is Mom saying I am being selfish, cruel, and thoughtless for my depression and suicidal urges. All I can feel is my older sister betraying me. I am so fucking pissed off, and I curse them out once the customers aren't around the kiosk for the store's sake. I have literally never told someone to fuck off at work. I left the kiosk to go sweep bakery like I was asked earlier, and completely melt down. Apparently sweeping was fucking ambitious in my state, because the broom because the cane I need to use to get to the chair. I am absolutely hyperventilating, with my chest burning agonizingly. My vision is blurry as hell, and I am not even coherent, rambling and rocking back and forth. By the end, I have cut myself so many times on the arms that my arms are just wet with blood. If I had been less coherent, I would not be here.
I regret my outburst so much. I regret taking longer breaks so much. I apologized so much. It was not enough, and then I'm terminated for profanity on the sales floor to coworkers.
It takes the store four days to decide to terminate me, where they send me home every time I go for my shift, but lead me on. "I think you'll be able to continue work. We just need a doctor's note." "We just need your side of the story for records, send you home for today." I call them so I don't have to waste money and find out I'm terminated.
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