Post your characters and I will rate (Closed)

[Representing_Tromba]

So I was thinking of this character for a bit.

Unique 2/5 - First off this type of character is not that unique. While you might say that Anna herself is unique in that she is powerful, I can find many Anime archetypes that have dark/evil type characters that are creepy in their own way. It's almost an anime trope in it of itself. Being powerful or cheerful and twisted isn't that unique. Neither is drinking, brawling or playing practical jokes. If you wanted to make her unique, perhaps a small detail like "she always drinks root beer out of a silver cup." When there are minute details that are harped on, it gives characters a more unique feel for them. Or perhaps she has a saying that readers or the audience picks up on that says "that's definitely Anna."

Being immortal, unchanging, an eldritch are all generic things.

Design 3/5 - I'm not fully sold on her design as a background character. Part of it is the fact that the idea that attractive people get a pass for being creepy is only lasts so long and soon people will just find them creepy. It doesn't matter how hot someone is, if they're constantly inappropriate but not in an endearing way people will get tired of her. Also, too much power means she doesn't have room for growth unless it's personal or emotional growth, but being an eldritch you're kind of in a corner unless you want to make her a sheltered eldritch, but since she's worked in human society as a bar maid and hasn't changed there isn't much hope for change. This also means she will be difficult to relate too because most people don't relate to creeps.

Overall 2.5/5 - This rating just means that she'd probably be best as a stock or side character, and can add another element to the story but the majority of people probably wouldn't want her as a main character just based on what you've described so far.



Uniqueness 2/5 - Fits the Lolli or small girl stereotype that's found way too often. Isn't super unique, and the idea of being ethereal is in plenty of fantasy. 1 point due to not knowing what shoes are. That's a unique personality point.

Design 4/5 - There isn't a lot of description here but, she does have some things going for her. Tsundere is relatable to a lot of people, but being bossy makes her similar to a lot of people as well. Not caring about shoes is a good detail that could make her memorable, and the liking of human psychology can help a lot with her scene work where people can see her analyzing a lowly human for fun or play with them.

Overall 3/5 - Good side character, probably not a good main character.

There's one thing you got wrong. It's not a girl or boy. The only reason it took that form is because that's how the MC subconsciously views time. It's real body is more like a celestial dust cloud.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Oh well then yeah he totally is. One of the things about him is the soul made him literally obsessed with that and it actually harms his relationships with others.

The biggest thing is that he doesn't have a defining phrase, trait or unique personal effect. Even twilight had the "sparkles" effect that made her character unique despite the story being horribly written. It has to be a good personal effect, like Gurren Lagann's "Who the hell do you think I am," or even Naruto's Dattebayo and talk-no-jutsu. Personal effects are usually an easy score on the unique and makes people remember a character better.

There's one thing you got wrong. It's not a girl or boy. The only reason it took that form is because that's how the MC subconsciously views time. It's real body is more like a celestial dust cloud.

The score doesn't change even with that. It's still the form of a girl even if it's a dust crowd.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

The biggest thing is that he doesn't have a defining phrase, trait or unique personal effect. Even twilight had the "sparkles" effect that made her character unique despite the story being horribly written. It has to be a good personal effect, like Gurren Lagann's "Who the hell do you think I am," or even Naruto's Dattebayo and talk-no-jutsu. Personal effects are usually an easy score on the unique and makes people remember a character better.

I suppose he has a unique evil laugh, he also calls everyone ants if that does anything. I also remembered one thing that does separate him from the crowd. Man doesn't just want to change the story, he wants to completely ruin the life of the original protagonist. I didn't mention any of that because this stuff only happens in the actual story.

 

[Deleted member 54065]

Spoiler: Temaire

Henrietta Temaire Louise d'Anvilles

Description: One of the world's five 'Sage'-ranked (strongest) Mages, she is a member of the U.N. Society of Mages, and represents France in the Magical Security Council. Temaire suffers from amnesia.

Skills: Her specialty is on Water Magic, though she can use other magics (Fire, Earth, Wind and Dimension). Her true magic potential is repressed though, for she had used the 'Five Forbidden Spells' in the past. Another skill of hers is her ability to control 'time'--which sets her apart from the rest of the mages.

Background: Recognized as one of the world's strongest mages, Temaire's past is stained by her leadership of the rebel organization 'Iscariot Bloodline'--a racist group aiming to defeat and subjugate the Ordinaria (the magic-less humans). In truth, however, she founded the 'Bloodline' in her quest to remove magic (from the combination of elf and human blood) from humans.

Her amnesia is caused by the U.N. Society of Mages' punishment for her, in the aftermath of the 'Iscariot Bloodline's' defeat in the war that wiped half of Earth's population. Her magic powers are also significantly 'downgraded', the separation of which caused other 'existences' to sprang up as new 'individuals'.

Temaire's anger for her own race, the 'Mages', stems from her past. Her father abused her in his quest to 'produce' a powerful heir, so that their hold to power wouldn't be lost. The French government contributed to her mental instability, as she was restricted on her movements when she was young (as she was France's strongest mage).

I hope I got that explained just right. I lost my detailed character profile for her when I made a formatting mistake.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Envy: Female Vampire, Smol, White Hair, Crimson Eyes

She ate all of the Envy Miasma in the world as a spirit, and before she could turn into a demon the goddess gave her a boon, making her the first sin with an authority. She couldn't bear to watch the mortal races who were given things she couldn't possess, so after a while she consumed a girl in the forest becoming the first vampire. Upon consumption, she was granted a physical form that heavily resembled the girl. She is primarily "evil". Though, I would say that she is just heavily influenced by the sin she carries. Her power is that the people/creatures she consumes grant her with some of their ability/knowledge. If she wants something she will try and take it for herself.

Uniqueness 2/5 - Vampires are pretty generic. The only thing that's different is eating the miasma but the whole thing about authority, goddess, and sin seems like you took a lot of it from Re:zero (I'm making the assumption because Re:Zero was quite Unique for the mainstream with all the authorities and such when it first arrived) Getting power from consumption is interesting but kind of done. Wanting something and taking it for themselves, same deal.

Design 2/5 - I don't see anything about her the screams relatable or as something I would have a reason to read and relate too. There is definitely an audience though, vampires lover audience which most people are not a part of. It's probably large enough to make money and have a cult like following but the majority of us wouldn't care for a character like this.

Overall 2/5 - Probably just a good stock character to remain in the background. Could have a villain arc due to being evil but wouldn't even be compelling as a main villain.

This is my opinion.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Uniqueness 2/5 - Vampires are pretty generic. The only thing that's different is eating the miasma but the whole thing about authority, goddess, and sin seems like you took a lot of it from Re:zero (I'm making the assumption because Re:Zero was quite Unique for the mainstream with all the authorities and such when it first arrived) Getting power from consumption is interesting but kind of done. Wanting something and taking it for themselves, same deal.

Design 2/5 - I don't see anything about her the screams relatable or as something I would have a reason to read and relate too. There is definitely an audience though, vampires lover audience which most people are not a part of. It's probably large enough to make money and have a cult like following but the majority of us wouldn't care for a character like this.

Overall 2/5 - Probably just a good stock character to remain in the background. Could have a villain arc due to being evil but wouldn't even be compelling as a main villain.

This is my opinion.

 

[AnonUnlimited]

I suppose he has a unique evil laugh, he also calls everyone ants if that does anything. I also remembered one thing that does separate him from the crowd. Man doesn't just want to change the story, he wants to completely ruin the life of the original protagonist. I didn't mention any of that because this stuff only happens in the actual story.

While that might be unique in it of itself, it's a unique plot point rather than a background or personality point. Which is in another category. This isn't my opinion about whether the story will be good, but whether the character will be memorable and interesting.

 

[Deleted member 113259]

While that might be unique in it of itself, it's a unique plot point rather than a background or personality point. Which is in another category. This isn't my opinion about whether the story will be good, but whether the character will be memorable and interesting.

Aight guess I'll try to give him a catchphrase or something.

 

[Seaspecter]

So I was thinking of this character for a bit.

Unique 2/5 - First off this type of character is not that unique. While you might say that Anna herself is unique in that she is powerful, I can find many Anime archetypes that have dark/evil type characters that are creepy in their own way. It's almost an anime trope in it of itself. Being powerful or cheerful and twisted isn't that unique. Neither is drinking, brawling or playing practical jokes. If you wanted to make her unique, perhaps a small detail like "she always drinks root beer out of a silver cup." When there are minute details that are harped on, it gives characters a more unique feel for them. Or perhaps she has a saying that readers or the audience picks up on that says "that's definitely Anna."

Being immortal, unchanging, an eldritch are all generic things.

Design 3/5 - I'm not fully sold on her design as a background character. Part of it is the fact that the idea that attractive people get a pass for being creepy is only lasts so long and soon people will just find them creepy. It doesn't matter how hot someone is, if they're constantly inappropriate but not in an endearing way people will get tired of her. Also, too much power means she doesn't have room for growth unless it's personal or emotional growth, but being an eldritch you're kind of in a corner unless you want to make her a sheltered eldritch, but since she's worked in human society as a bar maid and hasn't changed there isn't much hope for change. This also means she will be difficult to relate too because most people don't relate to creeps.

Overall 2.5/5 - This rating just means that she'd probably be best as a stock or side character, and can add another element to the story but the majority of people probably wouldn't want her as a main character just based on what you've described so far.

To be honest I think I’m just describing her poorly. Which after writing 250k or so words about her adventures makes me feel kind of lame.

She does have all manner of little quirks like you mentioned . Such as her loathing of shoes and undergarments as well as carrying around a pocket of candy that she either eats or offers to people at the strangest times. Also I think using uncanny to describe her works better than creepy. The more I think about it I suppose she’s less like a skeevy guy and more like someone that simply socially awkward and is so nervous about talking with people that they say something bizarre.

The story is really just about her learning to live in a world where she’s the only one of her kind and because she’s so different she struggles to fit in. It doesn’t help that nearly all of her social interactions come from the outcasts and misfits of society.

As far as hot people getting a pass it’s really the opposite for her. She attracts all kinds of attention because of her looks but after people talk with her they realize something is very wrong and avoid her with the exception of her adventuring party and the dwarves.

I’m probably still describing it wrong but this feels somewhat better.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

It was a short ride

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Spoiler: Temaire

Henrietta Temaire Louise d'Anvilles

Description: One of the world's five 'Sage'-ranked (strongest) Mages, she is a member of the U.N. Society of Mages, and represents France in the Magical Security Council. Temaire suffers from amnesia.

Skills: Her specialty is on Water Magic, though she can use other magics (Fire, Earth, Wind and Dimension). Her true magic potential is repressed though, for she had used the 'Five Forbidden Spells' in the past. Another skill of hers is her ability to control 'time'--which sets her apart from the rest of the mages.

Background: Recognized as one of the world's strongest mages, Temaire's past is stained by her leadership of the rebel organization 'Iscariot Bloodline'--a racist group aiming to defeat and subjugate the Ordinaria (the magic-less humans). In truth, however, she founded the 'Bloodline' in her quest to remove magic (from the combination of elf and human blood) from humans.

Her amnesia is caused by the U.N. Society of Mages' punishment for her, in the aftermath of the 'Iscariot Bloodline's' defeat in the war that wiped half of Earth's population. Her magic powers are also significantly 'downgraded', the separation of which caused other 'existences' to sprang up as new 'individuals'.

Temaire's anger for her own race, the 'Mages', stems from her past. Her father abused her in his quest to 'produce' a powerful heir, so that their hold to power wouldn't be lost. The French government contributed to her mental instability, as she was restricted on her movements when she was young (as she was France's strongest mage).

I hope I got that explained just right. I lost my detailed character profile for her when I made a formatting mistake.

Uniqueness 1/5 - I don't see much in her that is vastly different or defining.

Design 4/5 - Could use bigger boobs.

Overall 3.5/5 - I'm sorry but my ratings don't really mean much unless I read the story. I've realized that short descriptions like this are meaningless. To be honest, nothing about her sounds all that unique from a wannabe main protagonist, thus there is a low unique rating. The design could be 5/5 considering you've gone a lot into background and also put up a detailed back story.

Also I realize "uniqueness" is not a required trait for a good story. It's only to make a character more memorable.

To be honest I think I’m just describing her poorly. Which after writing 250k or so words about her adventures makes me feel kind of lame.

She does have all manner of little quirks like you mentioned . Such as her loathing of shoes and undergarments as well as carrying around a pocket of candy that she either eats or offers to people at the strangest times. Also I think using uncanny to describe her works better than creepy. The more I think about it I suppose she’s less like a skeevy guy and more like someone that simply socially awkward and is so nervous about talking with people that they say something bizarre.

The story is really just about her learning to live in a world where she’s the only one of her kind and because she’s so different she struggles to fit in. It doesn’t help that nearly all of her social interactions come from the outcasts and misfits of society.

As far as hot people getting a pass it’s really the opposite for her. She attracts all kinds of attention because of her looks but after people talk with her they realize something is very wrong and avoid her with the exception of her adventuring party and the dwarves.

I’m probably still describing it wrong but this feels somewhat better.

Anyway, I've realized that this is not a good way to rate anything. Summaries are not great with details.

It was a short ride

It was.

Aight guess I'll try to give him a catchphrase or something.

You might not have to, this is after all just a flawed opinion based on limited information. I would also suggest perhaps a unique item or accessory too.

 

[Prince_Azmiran_Myrian]

Never gonna end

 

[Ai-chan]

Name: Maya Hartfield

Background:
Maya Hartfield is an eccentric and imaginative teenager who possesses a deep fascination with ribbons. As a high school student at Eastwood High, she stands out from her peers due to her peculiar obsession. Maya's love for ribbons goes beyond mere aesthetic appreciation; she sees them as mystical artifacts capable of connecting her to hidden realms and unlocking forgotten secrets.

Appearance:
Maya embraces her love for ribbons in her unique style. She adorns her auburn hair with an array of colourful ribbons, intertwining them intricately and creating intricate braids and weaves. Her choice of clothing often includes dresses or outfits adorned with ribbons, sometimes incorporating them as sashes, bows or decorative accessories. Maya's eyes shimmer with excitement and curiousity, always seeking new ways to incorporate ribbons into her everyday life.

Skills and abilities:
1. Ribbon Manipulation: Maya has honed her skills in manipulating ribbons to an extraordinary degree. She can make ribbons move and dance through the air, as if guided by an unseen force. She uses this ability not only for decorative purposes but also as means of navigation, creating makeshift bridges or restraining supernatural entities that cross her path.
2. Ribbon Divination: Through intense study and practice, Maya has developed a unique form of divination using ribbons. By tying knots, weaving patterns and unraveling the ribbons with intention, she can gain glimpses into possible futures, interpret signs, and uncover hidden information. This ability aids her in navigating the treacherous halls of the haunted school and finding her friends.
3. Creativity and Problem-solving: Maya's obsession with ribbons has nurtured her creativity and out of the box thinking. She can come up with imaginative solutions to obstacles, using ribbons in unconventional ways to overcome challenges and puzzles that lie in her path. Maya's ability to see the world through a different lens often helps her uncover hidden paths and secrets within the haunted school.

Personality:
Maya is a neck-breathing creep and a whimsical individual, unafraid to express her unique interests and passions. Her love for ribbons permeates every aspect of her life, imbuing her with a sense of wonder and surrealness. Maya possesses a kind heart, often hidden behind her creepy giggles behind ribbons, always seeking to help others and finds beauty in covering the people she loves in bundles of ribbons, even when surrounded by darkness. She embraces her weirdness and encourages others to do the same, even if she has to tie them up, thus fostering a sense of acceptance and individuality.

 

[Deleted member 84247]

Name: Maya Hartfield

Background:
Maya Hartfield is an eccentric and imaginative teenager who possesses a deep fascination with ribbons. As a high school student at Eastwood High, she stands out from her peers due to her peculiar obsession. Maya's love for ribbons goes beyond mere aesthetic appreciation; she sees them as mystical artifacts capable of connecting her to hidden realms and unlocking forgotten secrets.

Appearance:
Maya embraces her love for ribbons in her unique style. She adorns her auburn hair with an array of colourful ribbons, intertwining them intricately and creating intricate braids and weaves. Her choice of clothing often includes dresses or outfits adorned with ribbons, sometimes incorporating them as sashes, bows or decorative accessories. Maya's eyes shimmer with excitement and curiousity, always seeking new ways to incorporate ribbons into her everyday life.

Skills and abilities:
1. Ribbon Manipulation: Maya has honed her skills in manipulating ribbons to an extraordinary degree. She can make ribbons move and dance through the air, as if guided by an unseen force. She uses this ability not only for decorative purposes but also as means of navigation, creating makeshift bridges or restraining supernatural entities that cross her path.
2. Ribbon Divination: Through intense study and practice, Maya has developed a unique form of divination using ribbons. By tying knots, weaving patterns and unraveling the ribbons with intention, she can gain glimpses into possible futures, interpret signs, and uncover hidden information. This ability aids her in navigating the treacherous halls of the haunted school and finding her friends.
3. Creativity and Problem-solving: Maya's obsession with ribbons has nurtured her creativity and out of the box thinking. She can come up with imaginative solutions to obstacles, using ribbons in unconventional ways to overcome challenges and puzzles that lie in her path. Maya's ability to see the world through a different lens often helps her uncover hidden paths and secrets within the haunted school.

Personality:
Maya is a neck-breathing creep and a whimsical individual, unafraid to express her unique interests and passions. Her love for ribbons permeates every aspect of her life, imbuing her with a sense of wonder and surrealness. Maya possesses a kind heart, often hidden behind her creepy giggles behind ribbons, always seeking to help others and finds beauty in covering the people she loves in bundles of ribbons, even when surrounded by darkness. She embraces her weirdness and encourages others to do the same, even if she has to tie them up, thus fostering a sense of acceptance and individuality.

Anon closed the thread Ai-chan! Like a bully!

 

[Deleted member 113259]

So I'm the only one to get 4 stars before Anon closed. I win.

 

[LowinKeshin]

So I'm the only one to get 4 stars before Anon closed. I win.

I'll just take the W for uniqueness.

 

[Ai-chan]

Anon closed the thread Ai-chan! Like a bully!

Ai-chan got bullied! Please let Ai-chan keep the clothes on at least. No, don't come closer. No, Ai-chan doesn't want those Big Black Carrots!

 

[AnonUnlimited]

Name: Maya Hartfield

Background:
Maya Hartfield is an eccentric and imaginative teenager who possesses a deep fascination with ribbons. As a high school student at Eastwood High, she stands out from her peers due to her peculiar obsession. Maya's love for ribbons goes beyond mere aesthetic appreciation; she sees them as mystical artifacts capable of connecting her to hidden realms and unlocking forgotten secrets.

Appearance:
Maya embraces her love for ribbons in her unique style. She adorns her auburn hair with an array of colourful ribbons, intertwining them intricately and creating intricate braids and weaves. Her choice of clothing often includes dresses or outfits adorned with ribbons, sometimes incorporating them as sashes, bows or decorative accessories. Maya's eyes shimmer with excitement and curiousity, always seeking new ways to incorporate ribbons into her everyday life.

Skills and abilities:
1. Ribbon Manipulation: Maya has honed her skills in manipulating ribbons to an extraordinary degree. She can make ribbons move and dance through the air, as if guided by an unseen force. She uses this ability not only for decorative purposes but also as means of navigation, creating makeshift bridges or restraining supernatural entities that cross her path.
2. Ribbon Divination: Through intense study and practice, Maya has developed a unique form of divination using ribbons. By tying knots, weaving patterns and unraveling the ribbons with intention, she can gain glimpses into possible futures, interpret signs, and uncover hidden information. This ability aids her in navigating the treacherous halls of the haunted school and finding her friends.
3. Creativity and Problem-solving: Maya's obsession with ribbons has nurtured her creativity and out of the box thinking. She can come up with imaginative solutions to obstacles, using ribbons in unconventional ways to overcome challenges and puzzles that lie in her path. Maya's ability to see the world through a different lens often helps her uncover hidden paths and secrets within the haunted school.

Personality:
Maya is a neck-breathing creep and a whimsical individual, unafraid to express her unique interests and passions. Her love for ribbons permeates every aspect of her life, imbuing her with a sense of wonder and surrealness. Maya possesses a kind heart, often hidden behind her creepy giggles behind ribbons, always seeking to help others and finds beauty in covering the people she loves in bundles of ribbons, even when surrounded by darkness. She embraces her weirdness and encourages others to do the same, even if she has to tie them up, thus fostering a sense of acceptance and individuality.

Uniqueness 5/5 - After reading it, it feels like any reader will forever associate Maya with ribbons. Plus the ways she can use them seem endless, it's like the power of ribbons.

Design 4/5 - It will probably be difficult to relate to Maya. First reason is that most people aren't obsessed with something to the extent you've described her being obsessed. While the unique powers can help her find many things and thus help open up many new pathways for stories, it will also tie up plot progression every time something new is discovered. One of the biggest issues with a lot of comics and continuing stories these days is that there is a unique point people are going for and then there are a lot of boring side stories that take up time.

However, the fact that she has an upbeat personality means it'll be easy to like her on the readers part. Embracing weirdness is also a trait that people will relate too.

Overall: 4.5/5 - Good main character material. Might be great if used properly.

----

I know I said thread closed, but if I see someone put a lot of effort into a description for my opinion I will give it.

 

[LowinKeshin]

We lost XD

 

[Deleted member 113259]

Uniqueness 5/5 - After reading it, it feels like any reader will forever associate Maya with ribbons. Plus the ways she can use them seem endless, it's like the power of ribbons.

Design 4/5 - It will probably be difficult to relate to Maya. First reason is that most people aren't obsessed with something to the extent you've described her being obsessed. While the unique powers can help her find many things and thus help open up many new pathways for stories, it will also tie up plot progression every time something new is discovered. One of the biggest issues with a lot of comics and continuing stories these days is that there is a unique point people are going for and then there are a lot of boring side stories that take up time.

However, the fact that she has an upbeat personality means it'll be easy to like her on the readers part. Embracing weirdness is also a trait that people will relate too.

Overall: 4.5/5 - Good main character material. Might be great if used properly.

----

I know I said thread closed, but if I see someone put a lot of effort into a description for my opinion I will give it.

Curses. I have been bested. My reign as champion lasted less than a day. Who am I, Blue Oak?