My Webnovel Journey – “Don’t Ask About My Past”

TomoKrishna

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Daily Updates | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and uploaded 64 chapters so far.

Now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward and if you want you can promote here, and I would like to read your intresting stories. We can help each other.

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 
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TomoKrishna

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:blob_hmm_two: this post is significantly different to all your others
Ah ? that I used chat gpt, remaining all are I typed, but I didn't post the chapters in forums when I uploaded, so I think my story didn't getting the traction, I tried like this, and after this I will just post new chapter links without that long message in this thread, first message right about story? Is it not good? ?
 

TomoKrishna

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Well tbh from what ive seen of you other post the chance of me reading your story is near zero.
? Bro I don't mind even if you not read, but can you say please the message is that worse, I kept the genre and what in story, and link and updates is it wrong to post in that way, I mean I am new to this forums section, can you help me bro, it's your choice to read story or not but atleast help me in this one.
 

Corty

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Yuki’s tone turned sly, teasing like a poke to the ribs. – ‘How old are you?’

Yui stiffened, arms crossing tightly as she hesitated. – “Why are you asking? Twenty-five.”

Yuki’s voice sharpened, half-scolding. – ‘Don’t lie. I’m twenty-five. If you’re twenty-five yet look younger because of me, how can you be the same age? …Wait, I’m not a boy—you can tell your real age.’

Yui sighed and turned away, cheeks puffing in embarrassment. – “Th-thirty.”

Yuki sighed, disappointed. – ‘I thought you were different from other ladies, but you’re not. …Okay, can you give me control? I want to talk outside.’

Yui folded her arms tightly. – “Huh? Why would I give my body to you? And why?”

Yuki answered with breezy nonchalance. – ‘Just for a moment—I want to test something.’

Yui sighed again, giving control, thinking Yuki wouldn’t listen anyway. A jolt as a weird flicker crossed their minds.

Yuki let out a bored sigh. – ‘Ah, shit… I thought my face would show up, but it’s still yours.’

Yui shot her a glare, jaw clenched. – “What’s with that dull reply? Of course it’s my body. My face is the one that shows.”

Yuki burst into a mischievous laugh. – ‘Okay, okay—here, take it back.’

Yui frowned with clear irritation. – “Seriously, your laugh is creepy. You’re a weird girl—why do you laugh like that?”

Yuki relented, voice playful. – ‘Take control—it’s your body.’

A jolt ran through their minds for a millisecond.

– “You’re definitely a weird girl. What are you trying to do?”

Yuki broke into a giggle, high-pitched and off-beat. – ‘Ha ha ha…’

Yui narrowed her eyes, her tone sharp. – “First, stop that bloody laugh. Just laugh naturally.”

– ‘Now I’ve confirmed one thing. I think you didn't notice it.’

Yui blinked rapidly, confusion slipping in with a frown. – “Huh! What do you confirm?”

Yuki let out a small smirk in her tone, laced with mischief. – ‘When I take control and laugh openly outside, your body also laughs. But when you're in control, even if I laugh, your mouth doesn’t move.’

Yui waved a hand, shrugging. – “So what? Maybe when you’re in control of my body, it reacts to your actions. When I take control, it reacts to my actions. But ultimately, I’m the one who controls.”

Yuki’s voice softened with a grin. – ‘Don’t boost yourself. Okay, you’re the one who can control. But I’m saying… even if I get shocked inside, unless we’re both shocked at the same time… no one outside sees our reactions.’

Yui groaned and looked away. – “Stop with your plays. I’m worried about you… but you're playing games with my body?”

Yuki’s voice dropped with a cunning lilt. – ‘Please give me control.’

Yui sighed under her breath. ‘Shit… why did you get into my body?’

Yuki chuckled low and sly, her voice dripping with mischief. – ‘Hey, I can hear your thoughts too. Come on, give me control.’

For a fraction of a millisecond, a strange flicker ran through their minds. (It happens every time when they switch.)

Yuki snickered and brought one hand up to grope Yui’s chest. With the other, she slowly began lifting the coat—fingers twitching, about to squ—
This needs a ton of editing. It is easier if I show you what I mean, because it is very repetitive. There is a story hiding here that could be interesting, but I think you need to rework it to draw in readers. The repetitiveness in the text is very off-putting.

‘How old are you?’ She asked, suddenly feeling that teasing her was actually fun, especially with poking her ribs and seeing her reaction.

“Why are you asking?" Yui stiffened, her arms crossing tightly before her chest, blocking her efforts at poking her. Twenty-five.”

‘Don’t lie." Yuki's voice cut in, sharp as a blade, "I’m twenty-five. If you’re twenty-five yet look younger than me, how can you be the same age? …You see, I’m not a boy. Come on, you can tell your real age, I won't give it away!’

In the end, giving up, she just sighed and turned away, her cheeks puffing up in embarrassment. “Th-thirty.”

"I thought you were different from other ladies, but you’re not." Yuki sighed, shaking her head, "Okay, can you give me control?" She asked, "I want to talk outside.’

“Huh?" She flinched, "Why would I give my body to you? And why?”

"Just for a moment!" She brushed away her question, "I want to test something.’

In the end, Yui sighed again, giving control, thinking that she wouldn’t listen anyway. Then, a jolt crossed their minds.

Something like this, I won't modify the whole text. But just by looking at it, that all your sentence starts with Yui/Yuki, it is jarring. Even just looking at it makes it very questionable. You don't always need to name them; you can use alternatives. Readers should be able to identify who is speaking and follow a simple dialogue between two characters.

Tl;dr the chapters need editing. My advice would be to reedit the story and reupload the whole thing from the start, with pacing out one chapter a day. It would help you get noticed, too, because a stable release schedule would give the best results.
 

TomoKrishna

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Well tbh from what ive seen of you other post the chance of me reading your story is near zero.
? What's fun bro? I mean i genuinely asked with concern
This needs a ton of editing. It is easier if I show you what I mean, because it is very repetitive. There is a story hiding here that could be interesting, but I think you need to rework it to draw in readers. The repetitiveness in the text is very off-putting.



Something like this, I won't modify the whole text. But just by looking at it, that all your sentence starts with Yui/Yuki, it is jarring. Even just looking at it makes it very questionable. You don't always need to name them; you can use alternatives. Readers should be able to identify who is speaking and follow a simple dialogue between two characters.

Tl;dr the chapters need editing. My advice would be to reedit the story and reupload the whole thing from the start, with pacing out one chapter a day. It would help you get noticed, too, because a stable release schedule would give the best results.
Yeah I totally understand it, I think that 4th-6th chapters end with the two characters give repeative, but I just want to write how they feel when they say and I use dash and single and double quotes because in future i didn't write who talking, i definitely follow that advice and she didn't poke ,yuki in yui's body after so many chapters i explained about that, just only tone of the Yuki because only yui is outside, thanks for suggestion bro, I think I definitely cut the characters who saying when there is not need how they say it and when two characters is there, now when I reading i understand the names are repeating, bro can you suggest the other chapters ? I mean 1-3 or 8-10 because in that there is no conversation like this, ofcourse if you don't mind that
 
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Corty

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now when I reading i understand the names are repeating, bro can you suggest the other chapters ? I mean 1-3 or 8-10 because in that there is no conversation like this, ofcourse if you don't mind that
It is still present, albeit not as outrageously. It gets better, yes, but after checking the latest chapters too, it never goes away fully.

I chalk it up to experience. After getting more, you will improve. For now, my advice is still the same. You can keep posting, but when you have time, I would rework the chapters, and when you have a lot, you can either delete the old one and start over. Sorry to say, the views are not coming, and that is probably because of the repetitive first chapters. First impression is important.

You would have a better chance if you start posting and scheduling the reworked chapters, putting up one a day, and redoing it from the start.
 

TomoKrishna

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Actually I reedited that, at first it is too clumsy and fragments type, then I reedited and updated, and thanks for saying your valuable feedback, I will work on first few chapters, yeah they are the first impression, uff finally bro I am relaxed I think all chapters are like that when you say first time, bro did you use any ai for writing? I mean you reedited my lines write, you did marvelously bro, I can see clearly the difference between my repetitive she do that she did that, but in your she did but in different way body language showed, if you use any ai say to me too bro, I am waiting for your reply,
It is still present, albeit not as outrageously. It gets better, yes, but after checking the latest chapters too, it never goes away fully.

I chalk it up to experience. After getting more, you will improve. For now, my advice is still the same. You can keep posting, but when you have time, I would rework the chapters, and when you have a lot, you can either delete the old one and start over. Sorry to say, the views are not coming, and that is probably because of the repetitive first chapters. First impression is important.

You would have a better chance if you start posting and scheduling the reworked chapters, putting up one a day, and redoing it from the start.
 

TomoKrishna

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Mar 26, 2025
Messages
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Than you are too good bro, i didn't know that, I just give raw to ai and it gives that too after 30 chapters I tried, before i write my self but it is too much errors and i reedited 30 chapters to look good without any grammar errors but still action body language mistakes, thank you even at night you are giving reply, I mean here 1 am i don't know what timings in your place, first time I am replying in forums like this ?
 
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TomoKrishna

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CHAPTER 66 - ROOM 3 PART II
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 heartfelt chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

Whether you're a reader or fellow author, I’d love for you to come along on this journey.
Your feedback is welcome and most precious to me.
 
Last edited:

TomoKrishna

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Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 67 - ROOM 2 PART I
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 68 - ROOM 2 PART II
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 69 - ROOM 1 PART 1
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 70 - ROOM 1 PART II
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 71 - ROOM 1 PART III
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 72 - VELGORN
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 73 - SOUL SHERE
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 

TomoKrishna

Member
Joined
Mar 26, 2025
Messages
94
Points
8
CHAPTER 74 - SECTION A
Don’t Ask About My Past – Fantasy & Adventure Novel

Daily Updates | Chapter 65+ | Feedback Welcome

Hi everyone!
I've been writing and uploading this story for the past 3.5 months, and it's grown into 64 chapters so far.

Starting now, I’m promoting from Chapter 65 onward — and I’m so excited to share it with you all!

Chapter 65 : ROOM 3 PART 1

This story is full of:

Ninja powers
Family, bonds
Secrets, mysteries
Tournament arcs with humor, and tension

And I'll daily post the links and want to create a big thread, so you can scroll down and check my other chapters.
 
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