My Absence

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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There have been a few people trying to contact me for the past month. I figured it'd be best to just post it here so I didn't miss anyone.

SO...

An old college friend's wife died. Dealing with that, I found out she was't who I thought she was. Turns out he got divorced, from the woman he married in college. The one couple I expected to last forever got divorced. Bit of an shock, to say the least. He has no idea what happened to her. Since then, I had four cats become deathly ill for various reasons. Two had to be put to sleep, two recovered. That was a few thousand dollars I didn't have. My co-worker's fiance died and while we were never close, it turns out he does not have many friends. He know's of my wife's poor health, so I guess he wanted my perspective on things, in so much as I'd "get him". Talking with him has been a soul draining experience. Due to all this we've been short staffed at work which caused a cascade of problems that resulted in one of the few people who I call a friend, a co-worker, betraying me. Bad. I've been stabbed in the back before, but what she did was unforgivable.

And she did it just to win an argument.

To top it all off, they got me working at a different work site than normal which has no internet access and is very active. I have very little free time at work to do my writing, like I usually do. In short, the past two months have sucked. I'm posting this, not so much to get encouragement, to whine, or for any sort of feedback. It is a confession that I have been very depressed. I have been avoiding everything that I could avoid. If I could put something off, I did. I've been doing only doing the absolute bare minimum interaction like paying bills and what not. I spend all my spare time sleeping or just lying in bed, even when I shouldn't. I know it might not make much sense, but even just reading email/DMs has been exhausting.

If you can't admit you have a problem, you can't correct your problem. I have a problem. I shall now take steps to fix it. I wish to apologize to anyone who I have ignored/blown off for the past few months. I have no excuse, just an explanation and a promise to try and do better. If I'm going to get out of this funk, I need to stop pushing everyone away. A thanks to the person who kept poking me until out of sheer annoyance I had to respond to them. I think I'd still be lying in bed for another month if you had not.

- T.E.G.
 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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Thank you all for your well wishes. This is more of a declaration to hold myself to the fire. Its all too easy to just slip way if I don't make a promise to actually interact with people. Alas, I keep getting stuck at work locations where I have no internet access (That's free, that is), so I can't respond every day, but I will endeavor to stop ignoring everyone.
 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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It is wonderful that you have returned.
Glad to be here.
Wish my job didn't banish me to a wifi dark zone at a work site where no one shows up.

At my job, you work until you are relieved and NOBODY SHOWED UP for the past TWO DAYS. I have had to request people get mandated from other sites to relieve me TWICE. I can only request a mandate when I've been stuck over 18 hours.

This is half the reason I've been MIA.

I have never had to do this on a weekday before. This has been insane.
 

RepresentingDesire

Eye of Desire
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Glad to be here.
Wish my job didn't banish me to a wifi dark zone at a work site where no one shows up.

At my job, you work until you are relieved and NOBODY SHOWED UP for the past TWO DAYS. I have had to request people get mandated from other sites to relieve me TWICE. I can only request a mandate when I've been stuck over 18 hours.

This is half the reason I've been MIA.

I have never had to do this on a weekday before. This has been insane.
What the actual fuck is your job? This sounds very illegal to me and at least here in germany it probably is, so I don't really know the standard?
 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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What the actual fuck is your job? This sounds very illegal to me and at least here in germany it probably is, so I don't really know the standard?
I work for New York State in the medical field. When you work at a medical worksite, abandoning your post can, and has, gotten people killed. I have worked houses where I had to take care of people in hospice care. I regret the fact that I have had two clients die under my care, and one on my watch. However, both were already "on watch" and their deaths were to be expected. If anything, Leonard surprised everyone by out living their expectations by over three months.

I like to think I had a hand in that.

However, because of the nature of dealing with clients who, if left alone could die, you agree that you will NEVER leave your post until relieved. I have had a weekend, during the height of covid, easter weekend to be specific, where EVERYONE at every house, called in sick. I mean we had maybe 20% of staff show up. And so, I was stuck for 51 hours straight, and no, you don't get to sleep.

However, we were watching over Carol and she was on death's door at the time. I had the option of about halfway through of going home, but that involved leaving her in the care of two new hires, one of which only had 3 months experience on the job. If Carol died while I was home, just because I wanted a nap, I would never have forgave myself.

So, I elected to stay one more shift, that turned into an extra 28 hours. So partially that's my fault, but it's also the nature of the work. 80% sitting around. 10% paperwork. 9% hard work. 1% moments of sheer terror. If you do the job right, you are spending most of your time PREVENTING the moments of sheer terror, but you never know when everything might fall apart.

That all said, I've saved enough lives at this point that I've lost count. There are people who are alive today because of me. It's a good job. I like the work. You also get paid very well because if you F'up, you might get someone killed and possibly criminal charges. Nothing that pays well comes without a price.
 

melchi

What is a custom title?
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What the actual fuck is your job? This sounds very illegal to me and at least here in germany it probably is, so I don't really know the standard?
Health care workers have different rules according to the department of labor in new york. Though, if there isn't an emergency then they are not supposed to be forced to work overtime.

 

TheEldritchGod

A Cloud Of Pure Spite And Eyes
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Health care workers have different rules according to the department of labor in new york. Though, if there isn't an emergency then they are not supposed to be forced to work overtime.

Ah. I'm not a nurse.

The nurses don't have to work OT, but the shulbs who work FOR the nurses, they can be worked like dogs.
 
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