Looking for feedback on my new web novel

  • Thread starter Deleted member 223463
  • Start date
D

Deleted member 223463

Guest
Hi everyone,
I’ve recently started publishing my new web novel and I’d love to hear your thoughts. I’m still developing the story and world, so any feedback—whether it’s about pacing, characters, writing style, or worldbuilding—would be really helpful.

Here’s the link: [The Listener's Veil]

Please let me know what works, what doesn’t, and how I can make it more engaging. I’d really appreciate your honest opinions!

Thanks in advance
 

Tempokai

The Overworked One
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1,392
Points
153


With this, you have zero credibility from the start. I don't trust you as a storyteller, I don't trust the story as a piece of media to be enjoyed, and I don't trust that you will deliver anything besides slop The Butler had made. Do better.
 
D

Deleted member 166465

Guest


With this, you have zero credibility from the start. I don't trust you as a storyteller, I don't trust the story as a piece of media to be enjoyed, and I don't trust that you will deliver anything besides slop The Butler had made. Do better.
Damnnnnn, Burned.
Hey, run one of my stories. I wanna see if they come up as AI generated. (I have never used AI to generate anything), only used quillbot to spellcheck some time ago, but I am still curious about what would happen.
 

Zenftiy

Filthy member
Joined
Dec 5, 2020
Messages
72
Points
73


With this, you have zero credibility from the start. I don't trust you as a storyteller, I don't trust the story as a piece of media to be enjoyed, and I don't trust that you will deliver anything besides slop The Butler had made. Do better.
How do you tell the difference between AI writing and human writing? I mean, I know you wouldn’t just trust those AI detectors. How can you be so sure that the writing is AI-generated?
 

Tempokai

The Overworked One
Joined
Nov 16, 2021
Messages
1,392
Points
153
How do you tell the difference between AI writing and human writing? I mean, I know you wouldn’t just trust those AI detectors. How can you be so sure that the writing is AI-generated?
GPTZero has 80% accuracy over the time I used it. 20% inaccuracy was from 100% LLM stories being checked as human made, even though it wasn't. It is very effective against cases like this, where OP had copy and pasted the output without a change. I don't trust other checkers besides this. ChatGPT (normal, not fine tuned one, and 4o or simple 5 without "thinking" mode) have certain rhetorical quirks it never deviates from, and after looking 100++ of those over few years I can use my own pattern recognition to sniff out these basic LLM generations. If I see that it has LLM-like generations that look unedited, I check through the checker, and based on that I come to conclusions. This website doesn't allow 100% LLM generated stories, but allows edited ones, and I only report completely unedited stories with this checker.

Damnnnnn, Burned.
Hey, run one of my stories. I wanna see if they come up as AI generated. (I have never used AI to generate anything), only used quillbot to spellcheck some time ago, but I am still curious about what would happen.
Just do it yourself, man. I went glanced at your chapter, and it was completely fine piece of amateur human writing. You're not like the OP who posted two of the threads in this forum using basic LLM.
 
D

Deleted member 166465

Guest
GPTZero has 80% accuracy over the time I used it. 20% inaccuracy was from 100% LLM stories being checked as human made, even though it wasn't. It is very effective against cases like this, where OP had copy and pasted the output without a change. I don't trust other checkers besides this. ChatGPT (normal, not fine tuned one, and 4o or simple 5 without "thinking" mode) have certain rhetorical quirks it never deviates from, and after looking 100++ of those over few years I can use my own pattern recognition to sniff out these basic LLM generations. If I see that it has LLM-like generations that look unedited, I check through the checker, and based on that I come to conclusions. This website doesn't allow 100% LLM generated stories, but allows edited ones, and I only report completely unedited stories with this checker.


Just do it yourself, man. I went glanced at your chapter, and it was completely fine piece of amateur human writing. You're not like the OP who posted two of the threads in this forum using basic LLM.
Nahhh. I have never used Chat gpt, dont even know how to access it. Is weird i have an account in anything, and I dont like AI, actually I just left another web publishing platform becouse the AI was everywhere, call me an old fart, but I dont like those damned clankers.
How do you tell the difference between AI writing and human writing? I mean, I know you wouldn’t just trust those AI detectors. How can you be so sure that the writing is AI-generated?
Dude, you got caught.
Take the L and walk the shame.
 
D

Deleted member 223463

Guest
Nahhh. I have never used Chat gpt, dont even know how to access it. Is weird i have an account in anything, and I dont like AI, actually I just left another web publishing platform becouse the AI was everywhere, call me an old fart, but I dont like those damned clankers.

Dude, you got caught.
Take the L and walk the shame.
If I tell you this was all an experiment and i have already made an novel Fully ai based and using another ai tweak it so ai can't detect it and it already on of the trending novel in Scribblehub. Would you believe me. Find me if you can. The account will be ghost by Tomorrow and i will continue my experiment with novels.
 

RepresentingWrath

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 7, 2020
Messages
13,552
Points
283
If I tell you this was all an experiment and i have already made an novel Fully ai based and using another ai tweak it so ai can't detect it and it already on of the trending novel in Scribblehub. Would you believe me. Find me if you can. The account will be ghost by Tomorrow and i will continue my experiment with novels.
I believe AI novels are on SH trending. I don't believe it's you.
 
D

Deleted member 166465

Guest
No problem, grandpa?
I am not a grandpa, I am not that old... I think... what were we talking about?
Ohh yeah, so I was in la Habana visiting when castro was starting this speech about how they are holding out against the americans. George bush junior was president back in the day, the dot com bubble just bursted and Fidel was trying to make people forget how bad the economy was with his three ours long speeches, then he "challenged" the americans to try to invade cuba. I almost spit my macadamia icecream, I like macadamia icecream, cant eat it anymore, you know I get fat and my sugar has been a bit too high latelly... Icecream is good... Zzzzzzz.
If I tell you this was all an experiment and i have already made an novel Fully ai based and using another ai tweak it so ai can't detect it and it already on of the trending novel in Scribblehub. Would you believe me. Find me if you can. The account will be ghost by Tomorrow and i will continue my experiment with novels.
I think you confusing me with someone who gives a rat ass. Well just to make it clear, I dont give a rat ass, for started I dont have a rat, no rat no rat ass, and I got no ass either, I mean I am flat as a plank of wood, not like I mind, I mean I am a guy, but my last girlfriend (that was years ago) always mocked me for the fact I had no ass... Why do women care if a guy got ass? Cant understand it.
 

Tyranomaster

Guy who writes stuff
Joined
Oct 5, 2022
Messages
746
Points
133
If I tell you this was all an experiment and i have already made an novel Fully ai based and using another ai tweak it so ai can't detect it and it already on of the trending novel in Scribblehub. Would you believe me. Find me if you can. The account will be ghost by Tomorrow and i will continue my experiment with novels.
I believe AI novels are on SH trending. I don't believe it's you.
Garbage trends all the time. This is like saying, "What if I told you that I've already scammed demented grandmas out of $20?" People buy the lowest rated amazon products.
 

ThisAdamGuy

Proud inventor of the chocolate onion
Joined
Sep 4, 2024
Messages
1,005
Points
128
[THIS POST HAS BEEN CONSUMED BY THE VOID]
 
Last edited:

FRWriter

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 3, 2024
Messages
527
Points
108
I find that hard to believe. I just ran the first chapter of my WIP through it, and it gave it a 50/50 chance that it was written by AI. The only time AI has ever touched my story was to help me proofread for typos and grammatical errors, but now I'm half afraid that as soon as I post it you'll be in my face saying I've lost all credibility.

That can't be true. If you use AI as a proofreader and only tell it to correct typos and grammatical errors, it doesn't change the writing itself, and it should always be 0%.

It can happen if you tell the AI to reword awkward phrases and make small edits, which is totally okay in my opinion.

However, in the case of OP, it hints at AI-GENERATED content, which is something completely different.

What you are probably doing is to write your story and then use the AI as an editor with minimal to small changes. The opposite would be to not provide anything and instead tell the AI to completely write the story with just a small summary of what you want the story to be. That's usually the only thing that is outright detected as AI.

I read the chapter, and it wasn't that bad, but I believe AI is used heavily. It just reads really uncomfortably. Nobody speaks or writes like that. AI is generally not suited for webnovels or stories at SH/RR. The writing is too stiff and unnatural. I don't think this is AI-generated content, however, but heavily AI-edited content.
 

ThisAdamGuy

Proud inventor of the chocolate onion
Joined
Sep 4, 2024
Messages
1,005
Points
128
What you are probably doing is to write your story and then use the AI as an editor with minimal to small changes.
Nope, it's all me, with the exception of what amounts to a high tech spell check. And it still says there's a 50/50 chance it was written by an AI. So maybe people should be a little less eager to throw around that accusation. And for the record, here's what it's saying has a 50% chance of being AI generated:
It was time to get up.

Jeremy opened his eyes, passing from sleep to wakefulness in the space of a second. Dim sunlight peeked between his shutters, drawing a line across the dusty wooden floor of his small, one-room house. He sat up and got out of bed, already dressed, and moved to the center of the room. There, he proceeded to stand motionless for the next hour.

"I have a store near the eastern gate," he said abruptly to the empty house. "We sell everything you could want, at the best prices in Sequestrinous!"
As the sun continued to rise, the beam of light inched its way across the room until it was shining directly onto Jeremy’s face. He didn’t react at all, not even to blink. From outside, the sounds of Sequestrinous waking up could be heard, beginning its daily cycle yet again. Voices and footsteps echoed up and down the street, a shadow occasionally darting in front of the window as someone made their way past Jeremy’s house.

It was time to open the store.

Turning, Jeremy made his way outside, not bothering to close the door behind him. He was greeted by the gray cobblestone streets and looming buildings of Sequestrinous, just as he had every day for the past thirteen years. A chaotic tangle of roads wound and looped its way through the city, each of them lined with three and four story buildings that were all unique, and yet paradoxically nearly indistinguishable from one another. Miles away, the city wall could be seen rising above the rooftops, standing tall and secure against the dangers of the outside world. The sun shone brightly in a cloudless sky, and the streets were already packed as the townspeople flocked to go about their daily routines.

One of them was doing his best to walk straight through the wall of Jeremy’s house, his eyes and expression both vacant.

Jeremy saw all of this without truly seeing it. His eyes remained fixed straight in front of himself, his face frozen in a mask of unenthusiastic contentment as he joined the throng and began to make his way across the city.

“Move along, citizen,” a guard said as he headed in the opposite direction.

“Good day to make some gold!” Jeremy said in response. Words were nothing more than noise that occasionally came out of his mouth. It didn't even matter if anyone was there to hear those noises, because there was no meaning behind them. No meaning behind anything.
 
Top