I'll evaluate new writers!

J.Morikami

New member
Joined
Apr 14, 2025
Messages
5
Points
3
Check this out. Please give feedback. Thankyou.
 

Shirobaxy

Member
Joined
Feb 19, 2025
Messages
11
Points
18
Put me on the chopping block (I hope I get good feedback)

I have a novel called, Reincarnated into a failed marriage. It has fantasy, isekai, romance, litrpg and drama.

What you can expect is;
- Good Pacing
- Immediate threat
- Immediate goals for Aric
- A self aware system that has real personality
- Learning how to navigate the world in a shitty body with amnesia.
- Learning how to use magic to solve the crimes of said body
- Redeeming himself
- Clear power usage and restriction
 

FoundForester

Active member
Joined
Oct 6, 2023
Messages
21
Points
28
So far I've learned I describe stuff way to much, my pacing sucks, and I need to be less poetic. I'd love to see what else I need to work on: LE BOOK
 

RaizellV

Active member
Joined
Jan 22, 2023
Messages
4
Points
43
I'm reading the story, and I like it. But you should tighten Chapter one a bit; it was a tad draggy for me. In the later chapters it's less noticeable.

And this is a personal thing, lmao, but the childhood bit is boring me. Especially the mom. She feels like the generic nice parent. I hope there's something more interesting at play with the parents, and they're not just stereotypes. :)


Edited:

I kept reading. The story is very fun, but you have issues in story flow that I have to squint my eyes to ignore.

The main problem is that you have too much dramatic dialogue. It feels repetitive. Not every moment or conversation needs to be dramatic, especially ones between close family, and I trust you know which parts I'm talking about; reread it yourself, and you'll recognize that some sentences or paragraphs feel unnatural or cringey. The solution would be to either delete them, or change some of it to feel less heavy.

I suggest just deleting them. For example, you could do away with Chapter 5 entirely- it's just an infodump about the setting, and readers will skip past it. Same with an earlier chapter, where the MC first says Mommy and Daddy. It was repetitive, generic, and added very little to the story, so I skimmed past it. It didn't gimme any plot, any character progression, and it didn't even have humor, it was just unnecessarily dramatic. It made me wonder why you even added it.

To talk about the more positive sides, this was one of the better novels I've seen asking for reviews. I like the mix of xianxia and fantasy, and the MC was very likeable. And the prose were very vivid, abeit slow paced. Keep up the good work! :)
Thank you for the feedback!
I have indeed been thinking about rewriting the beginning chapters of the story, since the pace and flow change quite a bit in the later part.
In any case, I appreciate your detailed critique!:blobthumbsup:
 

Talien_Auravale

New member
Joined
Apr 17, 2025
Messages
2
Points
3

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N.K.Watson

Member
Joined
Apr 9, 2025
Messages
41
Points
18
Hi!
I've got just under 15,000 words and 4 chapters. I've never attempted to write before, im just spilling out a silly idea! Would love to hear input from anyone.
 

Edenc2708

Noob Dice
Joined
Apr 18, 2025
Messages
100
Points
43
Ya, I'll read your story (max like 10k words unless I really like it). Hopefully, you can do the same for me, although I am not requiring anything.
My total chapters is currently about 10k words bro.
Can you please help me for a review?
Thank you so much

 
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