Of course it does, but it's a hobby, not your job. Don't beat yourself to death with it because you are not gaining a lot of readers already.
Now, here is a biased, unasked-for opinion from a guy who writes a popular smut fanfic and has a duck with Hulk arms as an avatar. Do with it what you will.
Start again.
Seriously.
Honestly, it's an interesting concept, though not my cup of tea, but you should flesh the idea out more before you put pen to paper, so to speak.
Then find a writer you enjoy reading or whose work is easy to read, and try to emulate their style. How did they introduce their world, their characters, and the hook?
How their paragraph structures are set up, and how their dialogue is written. How do their characters interact?
Basically, look at writing you like to read from a more technical aspect, and see if you can try to emulate it with your own work. From there, you can build out your own style over time, but you need to get the basics down first.
But what do I know, I am just a smut writer. Do what you want to do, man. It is your book!