Honest feedback is appreciated.

[theInvisibleWriter]

I have started the dive into my own hand-crafted world of Cardes and began a web novel I will release by chapter.

There's no current timeline and chapters will drop as the words flow. ?

Would very much appreciate any and all feedback. Please. And thank you very much.

[The Sovereign's Saga]​

 

[Fang_Yuan]

I have started the dive into my own hand-crafted world of Cardes and began a web novel I will release by chapter.

There's no current timeline and chapters will drop as the words flow. ?

Would very much appreciate any and all feedback. Please. And thank you very much.

[The Sovereign's Saga]​

Aight. I read it. 3 chapters is too little to make any actual commentary and only a professional can tell you about the grammar and structure. I don't want to bother with that. What do I say? Keep writing. It's too early to say anything.

 

[theInvisibleWriter]

Aight. I read it. 3 chapters is too little to make any actual commentary and only a professional can tell you about the grammar and structure. I don't want to bother with that. What do I say? Keep writing. It's too early to say anything.

Thanks.

 

[AliceMoonvale]

I only read the first chapter.
Could of read more I suppose, but for me at least, the first chapter is a first impression.
(my ADHD doesn't help either )

So, everything I say is based off of that!

That being said, I think there could be some improvements to pacing?
Only because I personally feel that lot of time is spent on Brock’s internal thoughts and mundane tasks.
Not much of the setting is made clear either. There's only the 'burning times' as a vague warning?

Dialogue is a bit heavy, might benefit from more natural/conversational tweaking. Rather than repeating what the character already thought.
The creature at the end feels a bit rushed.

So overall, I feel this story could use some improved pacing and emotional depth.
Otherwise, it's a solid/strong start! I like that your character is engaging with clear motivations.

Good luck with writing!