Feedback for A Little Daughter Character
- Thread starter Eldoria
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AliceMoonvale
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1. She feels to be around 4–6 years old. I'd say roughly 5.
My reasoning: It's relatively common for young kids to refer to themselves in third person, though, I've rarely witnessed it myself. She gives names to things and her thinking is very simple and literal. She understands instructions but forgets them quite easily and her vocabulary is pretty basic but also not quite todder-level.
2. She comes across as fairly innocent, trusting, affectionate, curious and clear attachment to her mother. Her worldview also seems to be very personified and imaginative, as I mentioned with the naming thing above.
3. Standard cute 'n wholesomeness, as seen in her excitement about grilled fish, wanting to grow up to be pretty like her mom, etc.
4. Yes, using the dog scene as a reference. Her mother does something to the dog, she doesn't understand and frames it as something innocent such as the dog dancing and falling asleep. I haven't really read your story, but I can easily assume it was poisoned in a way, magical or otherwise, idk. Additionally, the black mist being dramatic irony
5. It's alright emotionally. Their relationship is obviously gentle and loving, mother being protective, but also slightly unsettling since the mother is clearly hiding something and is capable of being dangerous or lethal, but her daughter trusts her completely, as most children do.
6. It'd work alright I think. You'd get mystery introduced without explaining too much, emotional attachment being built for the child and the hints of worldbuilding via magic or w/e. Could be used for a side story showing the kid's childhood or something.
And I'll note that 'mommy is the best / hehe" is slightly overused and some sentences could be simplified to make her sound even more child-like in voice.
Both of you are partly right, but 2-7 is a very broad gap. I looked it up, and Piaget's stage is a general cognitive category, not a wholly precise description of child behavior for every age between those two points. So, yeah, not language development.
So, Caelan definitely feels closer to be 4-5 and not something like 2-3. Definitely not 6 or 7 because her thinking is still very simple 'n magical, whimsical, etc etc. Using the talking to the river, frog, etc as reference. Most 6-7yrolds i'm aware of don't use third person by then.
My feedback is slightly biased and based off of my job as a registered behavior analyst for children 3 to 7 with autism.
My reasoning: It's relatively common for young kids to refer to themselves in third person, though, I've rarely witnessed it myself. She gives names to things and her thinking is very simple and literal. She understands instructions but forgets them quite easily and her vocabulary is pretty basic but also not quite todder-level.
2. She comes across as fairly innocent, trusting, affectionate, curious and clear attachment to her mother. Her worldview also seems to be very personified and imaginative, as I mentioned with the naming thing above.
3. Standard cute 'n wholesomeness, as seen in her excitement about grilled fish, wanting to grow up to be pretty like her mom, etc.
4. Yes, using the dog scene as a reference. Her mother does something to the dog, she doesn't understand and frames it as something innocent such as the dog dancing and falling asleep. I haven't really read your story, but I can easily assume it was poisoned in a way, magical or otherwise, idk. Additionally, the black mist being dramatic irony
5. It's alright emotionally. Their relationship is obviously gentle and loving, mother being protective, but also slightly unsettling since the mother is clearly hiding something and is capable of being dangerous or lethal, but her daughter trusts her completely, as most children do.
6. It'd work alright I think. You'd get mystery introduced without explaining too much, emotional attachment being built for the child and the hints of worldbuilding via magic or w/e. Could be used for a side story showing the kid's childhood or something.
And I'll note that 'mommy is the best / hehe" is slightly overused and some sentences could be simplified to make her sound even more child-like in voice.
Both of you are partly right, but 2-7 is a very broad gap. I looked it up, and Piaget's stage is a general cognitive category, not a wholly precise description of child behavior for every age between those two points. So, yeah, not language development.
So, Caelan definitely feels closer to be 4-5 and not something like 2-3. Definitely not 6 or 7 because her thinking is still very simple 'n magical, whimsical, etc etc. Using the talking to the river, frog, etc as reference. Most 6-7yrolds i'm aware of don't use third person by then.
My feedback is slightly biased and based off of my job as a registered behavior analyst for children 3 to 7 with autism.
Eldoria
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Thank you for the constructive feedback. Now I can improve my narrative.My feedback is slightly biased and based off of my job as a registered behavior analyst for children 3 to 7 with autism.