Enlightenment

dummycake

dummycake

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dummycake said:
"We can conquer this city, Snake-Girl!" The woman wearing a kangaroo mask shouted, "Just the two of us, in a throne made of gold and skulls."

Snake-Girl looked around for a way to escape, this woman was crazy. Her kicks were painful and her jumps could make her follow Snake-Girl through the whole city, even if her snake powers that made her slither on buildings and the streets of Los Angeles.

"I have the powers of a Snake, don't I?" She thought, "There must be a way..." Suddenly, a crazy idea slithered into her head.

"So, what do you say, Snake-Girl? Are you in or are you out?" Snake-Girl got up and got into her fighting stance, a stance that came to her instinctively after she gainer her powers.

"You're the one that is out, Kangy. Out of your mind." She smirked at her own little joke. Maybe it wasn't the best time to joke but it made her relax. "Wrong choice!"

Silver Kangaroo jumped with a kick aimed to Snake-Girl's head, but she used her costume as a second skin, healing her injuries, just like a snake would do. She spit her poison on Silver Kangaroo. Not fatal, just enough to make her paralyzed.

That was the wrong choice. She missed and her poison went on Silver Kangaroo's foot, making her slip. "Ahh!" Snake-Girl's eyes widened. "Mrs. Joy!"

She grabbed the building's ledge, looking down to her definite death. "So that's how it ends," she said. "Hold my hand, Mrs. Joy!" Joy shook her head. "People with power will always fall. This time it will be to my death, instead of the death of my company."

"Anne... Please... Don't tell Mary." She let go of the ledge, looking at Anne's expression. "She even cares about an old deadbeat mother like me." She thought and chuckled. "I'm glad Mary has her... And I'm glad Los Angeles has a hero like her..."
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Anne was drawing in her notepad, trying to do her best to her glances directed to goth girl chatting and laughing with her male friends not be noticed. Then they made eye contact. Anne panicked, what if she discovers that she was drawing her the whole time?

The goth girl approached her and talked, with the sound of gum being chewed behind her black lipstick that Anne couldn't stop but glance at it again, "Hey freak, whatchu doing?" Anne said, her words tumbling, "Umm, h-hi, Vanessa. I'm just drawing."

"Really? Can I see it?" Vanessa said. "FUCK! WHY OF ALL THINGS WOULD SHE WANT TO SEE MY DRAWING!!" Anne panicked in her head. "Now I have no choice but show her."

She turned her notepad to Vanessa. She said, "Is that me?" in a tone that Anne thought it was pure rage or pure disgust. "Y-yes," she said. Vanessa smirked, "Not bad, freak. I would say I'm prettier though." Anne came back to life. "She didn't hate it? She doesn't think I'm disgusting?"

"Well, see ya, freak," She said. "You can show me more of your drawings any time." She winked and walked away.

"THANK YOU GOD!!"
 
TheMonotonePuppet

TheMonotonePuppet

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dummycake said:
Anne was drawing in her notepad, trying to do her best to her glances directed to goth girl chatting and laughing with her male friends not be noticed. Then they made eye contact. Anne panicked, what if she discovers that she was drawing her the whole time?

The goth girl approached her and talked, with the sound of gum being chewed behind her black lipstick that Anne couldn't stop but glance at it again, "Hey freak, whatchu doing?" Anne said, her words tumbling, "Umm, h-hi, Vanessa. I'm just drawing."

"Really? Can I see it?" Vanessa said. "FUCK! WHY OF ALL THINGS WOULD SHE WANT TO SEE MY DRAWING!!" Anne panicked in her head. "Now I have no choice but show her."

She turned her notepad to Vanessa. She said, "Is that me?" in a tone that Anne thought it was pure rage or pure disgust. "Y-yes," she said. Vanessa smirked, "Not bad, freak. I would say I'm prettier though." Anne came back to life. "She didn't hate it? She doesn't think I'm disgusting?"

"Well, see ya, freak," She said. "You can show me more of your drawings any time." She winked and walked away.

"THANK YOU GOD!!"
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I love it! I want to see this character in your story! Maybe as a side character interlude or something? That'd be so COOL!
 
dummycake

dummycake

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TheMonotonePuppet said:
By the way, I left to go read and comment on your story!
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THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I'm really happy that you noticed the little details about the world, like the dates and some things they say.
Delicia means Delicious in portuguese
And Garo(ta) means Girl.
Sorry if it wasn't clear
 
LunaSoltaer

LunaSoltaer

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dummycake said:
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I'm really happy that you noticed the little details about the world, like the dates and some things they say.
Delicia means Delicious in portuguese
And Garo(ta) means Girl.
Sorry if it wasn't clear
Click to expand...
Mythos, right?
 
TheMonotonePuppet

TheMonotonePuppet

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dummycake said:
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
I'm really happy that you noticed the little details about the world, like the dates and some things they say.
Delicia means Delicious in portuguese
And Garo(ta) means Girl.
Sorry if it wasn't clear
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I actually pressed the superscripts upon second read-through, finding it out! The mystery was solved already! *salute*
dummycake said:
Yes!! The other one is shit, don't read it
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Ruthless bashing, my friend! Ruthless, I say!
 
dummycake

dummycake

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TheMonotonePuppet said:
I actually pressed the superscripts upon second read-through, finding it out! The mystery was solved already! *salute*
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There's more subtle details that I thought it would be obvious but I'm actually happy that you didn't pick them up.
It will be good to see your reactions when I reveal them and when you reread it you notice that it was foreshadowing it right from the start!!! I love this type of shit so I just had to write it. The bad thing is that it's hard to keep track of the things I did.

Also, I didn't notice that I was writing wishfulfiment before someone pointed it out. I was more referencing and getting inspiration from the first Spider-Man movie :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!
 
TheMonotonePuppet

TheMonotonePuppet

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dummycake said:
There's more subtle details that I thought it would be obvious but I'm actually happy that you didn't pick them up.
It will be good to see your reactions when I reveal them and when you reread it you notice that it was foreshadowing it right from the start!!! I love this type of shit so I just had to write it. The bad thing is that it's hard to keep track of the things I did.

Also, I didn't notice that I was writing wishfulfiment before someone pointed it out. I was more referencing and getting inspiration from the first Spider-Man movie :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!!!
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Talking about the self-harm? I did notice that, but you may have been talking about something else. Perhaps the connection between mental issues (addiction, depression, non-verbal communication, etc) and powers? Looking forward to it!

Spider-Man is a wish-fulfillment movie, but like Spider-Man, yours is self-aware that they are wish fulfillment. It's an important aspect of the plot, I believe. That's what makes aaaaaall the difference!

Thank YOU for writing such an ?AWESOME STORY!!!?
 
Plantorsomething

Plantorsomething

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dummycake said:
That was a wild ride... Anyway

There was a time that I genuinely cried because of a plot point that I made up in my head, I didn't even write it yet.
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I do that a lot actually, frustrating when I start day dreaming literally in the process of writing
 
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