I'll be blunt for the sake of clarity. Know that I'm not saying this to accuse you or attack you, but I want to make you think about your behaviour explicitly. You do not owe me or anyone else explanations; this is simply an exercise in reflection for yourself. I don't know your intent in this limited text, without tone of voice. I'm approaching this with the tone of an old man with a lot of resolved trauma who issues a warning about post-traumatic behaviours that happen a lot and that I see the shadow of in your speech, though I might be misreading it. I truly hope I am, because otherwise you will have a lot of soul searching to do before you get through your pain. I had to get through similar missconceptions younger myself and they were hurting my chances of getting past trauma. I talk from the height of 30 years in therapy and have been actively studying psychology and sociology actively, specifically in the field of trauma, irrational belief systems (how we trick ourselves into bad conceptions of reality due to evolutionary biases) and violence. I do not have absolute truth on these matters, but I do have some measures of clarity.
You don't seem to have any empathy for men who have also been victims, as you explicitely pointing toward anyone but us as potential victims. This type of selective empathy hurts people. My body is covered in scars, lost 1/3 of a lung. My aggressors were both men and women; the difference was that none of the women who abused me physically and sexually were ever punished, because the same attitude prevailed in most of society. That unipolar view on victimhood is shielding a lot of abusers and making a lot of victims vulnerable. One thing that I hope you'll learn one day is that the vast majority of men also deserve your empathy. Even if your aggressors might have been men, that adversarial zero-sum sexist approach to victimhood and abusers is part of the issue, creating more abusers. Mysandrists and misogynists create each other; it's an epidemiological chain that needs to be stopped by the victims themselves. It sucks to have to be the grown-up, believe m,e I know intimately how easy it is to hate. I'm not saying be nice to your aggressors, I'm saying don't paint all of their demographic under the same broad brush and don't think women can't be as bad or are magically saints.
I'm saying make this about behaviours, not gender specific, because you propagate a skewed interpretation of reality that harms a lot of people through stereotypes and not just men. It's something I had to learn myself and deconstruct for a long time. I grew up in a family without a father due to his death. From a young age, I've been told atrocious things by the women around my mother, things like "all men should be put in concentration camps from age 16 because they ****" I've been told that when I was 10... it never stopped since. I'm smart enough to differentiate those women from all women... I hope you can do the same with men. If you want allies in the fight against injustices, you can't expect allyship to be unidirectional; you need to learn to be an ally in return to other people who have been hurt that are not like you physically. We don't choose our birth; we choose how we behave, and unjust hate is a choice.
Now, if you know all this already, truly know emotionally, not just rationally, then please adjust your speech because it is honestly hurtful when all you get is hatred for your gender. Yes men often lack good models, but they are also not offered a way to be human by society, it's a lot of confusing opposite expectations that are thrown at us from a young age, while emotions are actively repressed through harassment and violence, it creates unstable men with poor ego and emotional control, because this too, is a source of trauma. This constant bombardment frames us strictly as abusers and never the victims and never the heroes. How many names of men who fought for feminism who were killed and maimed do you know? There have been many... yet we don't hear about them because this framing is made to divide, it is made to make equality impossible, so allies in the dominant demographic get erased to serve an "us vs them" agenda used to divide and, more often than not, exploit wealth from the masses in impunity. Most men don't want to dominate or hurt women, and a lot put their lives in peril to aid. It's well past time that those efforts are recognized; that way, we can all fight abusers together and not apart. The same way abusing women needs to be called out in the same way when their victims are men. Behaviours, not gender...
You might be interested in looking up my novel... while the protagonist is a woman, it speaks of my own traumas through allegories and how I healed through all this crap... though fair warning, it's raw and with real violence, not diluted or heroic. It's also a slow burn and it's unfinished for now... and I'm slow writing it... But if you do read, you'll see that our experiences might not be so dissimilar emotionally.
