Cartoonishly "evil"

[TheEldritchGod]

I'm looking for phrases that I can use for a character that's going to be cartoonishly offensive. Like, imagine a Karen's worst nightmare of political incorrectness.

So I need funny, but terrible things for him to say.

"Her body, my choice."
"We're gonna liberate Canada, turn the place into a giant gulag, then ship you off to work in the maple mines."
"Relax, yer too old to be dragged off to the mara-largo breeding pits."


Stuff that'd make Andrew Tate go, "Whoa. Dial it back a notch." The aristocrats level humor.
Jokes that are "too soon" a bonus.

 

[ThrillingHuman]

I love slavery. It builds character. The children yearn for the mines.

 

[greyblob]

only one who can help with this is ben.

 

[Kay_Ship]

" you looked like someone just bought out your politicians"
"This is almost as bad as when the children in my factory unionized"
"The mules swallowed the bags so they all leaked. This is going to hurt my q3"

 

[ikos]

only one who can help with this is ben.

?

 

[JayMark]

"I have the heart of a child. I keep it in a jar on my desk to snack on for later."

 

[BearlyAlive]

"Screaming children always remind me of my first time"
"Killing people? I would never! I have henchmen for this kind of menial task."
"I wish I had a nuke, so I could stream myself pushing the button only to fire a real one after everyone realized the stream was fake."
"Have you ever done something so utterly despicable nobody would even think of it? No, well I'm currently stalling for time, so I can do exactly that kind of thing to your allies. Oops, too late now."
"Drugs, slavery, and assassinations? What kind of third-rated villain do you take me for?! Do I look like a politician to you?"
"Do you know the difference between a villain and a supervillain?"

 

[Gray_Mann]

"It's only rape if we're both screaming."

 

[Snake99]

"I'm going to do it, and if it's illegal, I just have to legalize it"

 

[CharlesEBrown]

"This is almost as bad as when the children in my factory unionized"

I think that was actually used on an episode of Ghosts (US version, at least)...

 

[Astrolust]

"Epstein did not die for this."
"I'd be one of the good slave owners."
"It's not rape if it's your wife."

 

[ConansWitchBaby]

"Of course, I Love Love! How else would I get so much leverage all the time?"
"Definitely anti-slavery. You mean to tell me there is a better option?! I don't have to house and feed them anymore! Think of the increased profit margins!"
"I will now donate one bijillion dollars to the whole of africa. Not only will I get a statue built for me, I need them to step up to the levels of getting my spaceship and moon tour business running on the cheap. Who else will do it? The French? They'll want taxes and regulations. Bah!"
"No. I won't torment you for the rest of your life by hiring a clown midget to kick you once everyday for the rest of your life. That is below me. I'll just book your assassination for next Tuesday."
"Each hair from my wife's wig is from different orphans. You should have looked at my henchmens faces when I told them they didn't have to kill them. Miscommunication. Shame. What's done is done."
"That kid is adorable! I've always wanted to be a mom. Write a check deary."

 

[ArchlordZero]

This thread is like my humor, wtf

 

[Amrasil207]

"Yes! With this new air tax, we shall have monopoly on reality!"
"Oof, that's the 423rd child this week, tsk, tsk, they made rather annoying investment."
"I love equality! Look inside my factory, many slaves from many corners of the world toiled in purest camaraderie. We are getting closer to utopia!"
"Calm down dear, I just need you to make 5 more children, it shouldn't be that hard..."
"Jamie who? Ah, I remember! That scallywag dirtied my view, he should be grateful that misery build character."

 

[Puji-Maki]

Let's goo, this is the kind of thread that will make chuckle, damn I have a dark humor. Anyway, just to make it look like I'm participating, even though I just want to lurk, I'll give you common ones.

"If Evil, why Hot?"
"Griffith did nothing wrong."
"Looks female enough."
"If there's a hole, there's a goal."

 

[ThrillingHuman]

Jiseku Kaisen was pretty mid

 

[Corty]

So, you are looking for quotes from Kyle's mother in South Park?

 

[owotrucked]

"You had a nice dog, I'm sure its rabies test will be negative."

 

[SwallowForm]

"N"

 

[melchi]

If you are going to liberate Canada, rename it Northern Montana.