I won't sugar coat it. Each and every one of my characters are evil in their own ways, even the Mc, even the kids, even the npcs. Everyone is purely just out for themselves; To survive, to do whatever they think it takes to stay together. Sometimes, its a single person, sometimes, it's a village. No matter where you look, there will always be someone walking by a beggar, or ignoring someone who's in need, or just someone just plainly standing around, looking to see who's going to be the "hero" who steps up because they don't care enough to be that person.
Maybe it's just cause I'm a loner type. Maybe it's because I'm nihilistic, or pessimistic at best, but I don't see people as half good or half bad, every person to me is just another person. To prove you are purely good is almost impossible. I've done the helping, I've done the charity work, and volunteer work. I've tried to help and do what's good in reality, but to be real, I never heard thank yous, or god jobs, Which fine, I never helped for the congratulations of it.. but what bothered me was, it was always, always, always... Why couldn't you do more? Why couldn't you get here earlier? why this. Why that. Why me. Why didn't you do something? I was, and I did. But nothing was ever good enough with people. I quit. I felt bad. Do all you might, and all you can, and just for someone to tell you you f'n failed in every way? Like sorry, I guess I did. I guess they'll be better off without my help. I dunno.
When writing, doing the evil is easy for me because I don't feel anything. It's writing the good that difficult because at the end of the day, the hero needs to be a f'n hero, NOT just the guy who did their best. They NEED to be the hero. And not everyone will see them that way, whether they vanquished the evil, slayed the dragon, or saved the kingdom, there will always be something else, someone who says "why didn't you do more?"
Being a villain is easy. Being a Hero is impossible. But that's also why we read books, and tell stories, or manga, or comics, or watch cartoons, or series, or anime.. For some tiny-ass, meager fragment of Hope that tomorrow will be slightly better than the sh*ttier days. Otherwise, ....what's the point.