Parade
Active member
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2023
- Messages
- 23
- Points
- 43
Making the first chapter and made bullet points to start from there, and lead into the full text want to get opinions on how it looks so far.
Introduction
He starts in a dream climbing a hill to see.. something he is chasing someone who calls his name and tries to encourage him, he is exhausted, panting from out of breath and when he finally gets to the top he is told to wake up he cant stay there anymore
Him waking up annoyed by the alarm blaring
Getting ready for the day showing what he looks like
Good face
Decent body
Considers himself a good person
He is bored of the droning work day after day at school
Makes some food and heads out the door
On the way to work says hi to multiple neighbors
Helps take out an old lady trash bag
And gets a call from a friend (name)
Asking where he is at so he can meet up so they can walk to school
Says he is just about to get to the front entrance of the lobby
They meet up and introduce his friend’s appearance
Their school and grade
As he is walking up
Start talking about the game they played last night
Complains about the lack of sleep
Friend talks about a new game that’s getting really popular and others are playing it
Urban Valor
Wants to get into it and tells about the crazy feature that’s getting everyone hyped
Asks him to join
Says how much is it?
Says $$$
Don’t have that much so wont be able to join
No worries ill get for you
That’s too much money you don’t need to get it for me Im serious
Explains his friend is rich mentally
Nahhh you don’t ask me for anything and besides we could both be heros or villains
We could be a duo me the mastermind and you the great sidekick!
Well bash those villains till they the turn black and blue!
It’s the final day before summer break
Gets to school
First period starts
End of school day everyone celebrates
Everyone starts heading home
Friend ask if he is going to join him?
Let me think about it
Arrives home and
Says ma im home!
He goes and looks around the apartment but doesn’t find her.
“looks like she is getting home late today, guess I can surprise her with food tonight” he sighs and enters the kitchen to start preparing food
He starts by washing and preparing some potatoes from the pantry and cutting them into quarter slices and puts them aside in a bowl and seasons them. putting a pot on the stove filled with water and setting it to boil. After some time passes and prepares to pour the potatoes in.
*vrmmm* *vrmmm*
His phone starts vibrating, pulling it out of his pocket, looking at the number he sees its an unknown caller.
“hello? Who is this?”
“Am I speaking to ****** son?”
“yes, is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“I’m sorry to say this but your mother has been hit in an accident, she is currently in the hospital” the caller said.
Nothing is set in stone yet, and I am open to constructive criticism.
Introduction
He starts in a dream climbing a hill to see.. something he is chasing someone who calls his name and tries to encourage him, he is exhausted, panting from out of breath and when he finally gets to the top he is told to wake up he cant stay there anymore
Him waking up annoyed by the alarm blaring
Getting ready for the day showing what he looks like
Good face
Decent body
Considers himself a good person
He is bored of the droning work day after day at school
Makes some food and heads out the door
On the way to work says hi to multiple neighbors
Helps take out an old lady trash bag
And gets a call from a friend (name)
Asking where he is at so he can meet up so they can walk to school
Says he is just about to get to the front entrance of the lobby
They meet up and introduce his friend’s appearance
Their school and grade
As he is walking up
Start talking about the game they played last night
Complains about the lack of sleep
Friend talks about a new game that’s getting really popular and others are playing it
Urban Valor
Wants to get into it and tells about the crazy feature that’s getting everyone hyped
Asks him to join
Says how much is it?
Says $$$
Don’t have that much so wont be able to join
No worries ill get for you
That’s too much money you don’t need to get it for me Im serious
Explains his friend is rich mentally
Nahhh you don’t ask me for anything and besides we could both be heros or villains
We could be a duo me the mastermind and you the great sidekick!
Well bash those villains till they the turn black and blue!
It’s the final day before summer break
Gets to school
First period starts
End of school day everyone celebrates
Everyone starts heading home
Friend ask if he is going to join him?
Let me think about it
Arrives home and
Says ma im home!
He goes and looks around the apartment but doesn’t find her.
“looks like she is getting home late today, guess I can surprise her with food tonight” he sighs and enters the kitchen to start preparing food
He starts by washing and preparing some potatoes from the pantry and cutting them into quarter slices and puts them aside in a bowl and seasons them. putting a pot on the stove filled with water and setting it to boil. After some time passes and prepares to pour the potatoes in.
*vrmmm* *vrmmm*
His phone starts vibrating, pulling it out of his pocket, looking at the number he sees its an unknown caller.
“hello? Who is this?”
“Am I speaking to ****** son?”
“yes, is everything okay? Did something happen?”
“I’m sorry to say this but your mother has been hit in an accident, she is currently in the hospital” the caller said.
Nothing is set in stone yet, and I am open to constructive criticism.
