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  1. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    What can I say, I know what I like.
  2. Peagreene

    did you see the theory about Jim Carrey being a clone? now that's nuts.

    did you see the theory about Jim Carrey being a clone? now that's nuts.
  3. Peagreene

    Is my work too crude for an average reader ?

    who cares? Pasolini made Salo.
  4. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    Ah, go on then, for a fellow neurodivergent.
  5. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    The thing to do now is act like you planned that all along
  6. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    The grandfather is called Docile Tertias, so I didn't know if you meant it like docile (calm and peaceful) and tertiary (third), and if you did, what that meant.
  7. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    dude what's up with this landscape-ass formatting
  8. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    I don't like that this is all in italics. Despite the italics, I like this opening. There's tension bc of the silence between the characters, and a bit of voice in the descriptions. But here I'm lost bc I have no idea what's going on. For some reason (my own fault) I pictured the characters...
  9. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    I want to query "writhing" here because that word suggests prolonged, continued movement, like writhing in pain. It doesn't fit with the being too bored to sleep. He can't just switch the light on? With this level of familiarity, I'd expect him to call the old man by his name, not by a...
  10. Peagreene

    Offering feedback on your first chapter

    This implies the world takes place in a world where Christianity exists. Which is fine, but is going to be difficult with world building. So far we have Caleb's thoughts but it's all very disembodied. I'd like more details to help set the scene in a physical realm - like does the wooden floor...
  11. Peagreene

    Top Five Pieces of Film Music: Chevaliers de Sangreal from The Da Vinci Code (Hans Zimmer)...

    Top Five Pieces of Film Music: Chevaliers de Sangreal from The Da Vinci Code (Hans Zimmer) Conquest of Paradise from 1492: Conquest of Paradise (Vangelis) Mulan's Decision from Mulan (Jerry Goldsmith) Lux Aeterna from Requiem For A Dream (Clint Mansell) Across The Stars from Attack of the...
  12. Peagreene

    Top Five Film Soundtracks: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1992) (Patrick Doyle) Spirit: Stallion...

    Top Five Film Soundtracks: Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1992) (Patrick Doyle) Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron (Hans Zimmer) Lord of the Rings (Howard Shore) Gladiator (Hans Zimmer) The Dark Knight (Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard)
  13. Peagreene

    @Conqueror_Quack Mosquito behaviour

    @Conqueror_Quack Mosquito behaviour
  14. Peagreene

    @Navillus If I'd crossed paths with many fish, I would probably have been worried about them too.

    @Navillus If I'd crossed paths with many fish, I would probably have been worried about them too.
  15. Peagreene

    @ShrimpShady tbf those fuckers are violent

    @ShrimpShady tbf those fuckers are violent
  16. Peagreene

    If you ever think a character's neuroses are unreasonable - as a child I was anxious about bread...

    If you ever think a character's neuroses are unreasonable - as a child I was anxious about bread flour.
  17. Peagreene

    the whole thing "AI does all the work," is a myth and a lie here's why

    Nah dude. Writing isn't just the developmental stuff. Prose is an art form in itself.
  18. Peagreene

    @Nolff The Secrets of ScribbleHub have now been revealed to me.

    @Nolff The Secrets of ScribbleHub have now been revealed to me.
  19. Peagreene

    @AliceMoonvale why the long face

    @AliceMoonvale why the long face
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