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Im no professional so take my advice with a pinch of salt. Like Chris said, theres two parts to a fight. The fight itself AND the emotion. You could add lines between the ones you already have. Take for example: Arkam narrowed his eyes [gaze], [A single tear slipped between his eyes] No more...

Ooh no no i get it. I thought the skull emoji was a better laugh emoji... Or at least it was in 2023... No game no life still haunts my soul.

Hi, thanks for your time! The formatting (line breaks, poetic tone and so on) is the way i write in general. Iv tried the paragraph thing since school days but i cant do them??‍♂️. I also know that some LN's use the same formatting. I do agree with the pacing, it is very fast. Volume 1 is fast...

Theres a quote i like. "Send 2-3 years dagestan and forget" In other words, i forget everything :blobrofl:

Looking for a kind soul who can give some honest opinions on my story. Kinda difficult to continue without confirmation that people like the story. Thanks! :blob_sir: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1638053/children-of-the-void/

I dont think iv felt so many emotions whilst reading a post before:sweating_profusely:

It is usually the true protag for me. As the world revolves around them

All good! And with the station scene, you could add some sort of emotional responce that shows Elias' inner state. For example: "He glanced down at the cup in his hands." [Insert some feeling in his stomach or his hands slightly shaking] Implying how he feels rather than stating. But that is...

My current relationship status with google: "Hi synonym" "i synonym" "Hate synonym" "You synonym"

So first... I DON'T READ BOOKS... So my opinion is very basic. And I'll only read the first chapter because I dislike reading in general. Secondly... The first chapter was good. The speech is done perfectly, and the little twist was great. And the (comedy?) at the start was perfect. So yea, I...

So true. Music, writing and visuals are, in my opinion, nessasary to create the perfect story. Almost like a jigsaw puzzle. If one is missing, then the puzzle isnt complete.

Same! Most of my characters are inspired by song lyrics, titles or rhythm. I tend to listen to OSTs as I write. But each one must match the scene. Some are: (slowed and reverb) Vogel im Käfig - Hiroyuki Sawano lover from the past - mareux (Slowed + Reverb) nothing can be explained [slowed...

Genre: Action Fantasy URL: https://www.scribblehub.com/series/1638053/children-of-the-void/ Feedback Level: 1 Other: iv used ai to tweak ONLY synonyms and punctuation. Just a prewarning as i see peeps get all fuzzy about that??‍♂️ Thanks!

Reading other posts i assumed punctuation and synonym tweaks with ai wasnt a big deal, im a 1 man team after all. but its all good. Thanks anyway?

Ahaha, thanks and take your time! I'll be sipping my virtual coffee until then:coffee:

Hey Gabrielle! First, I hope you're having a great day! Also, I think I have an unhealthy obsession with caramel latte? Looking forward to the feedback, thanks!

Thought it was just me?

If you're still doing this, id REALLY appreciate some feedback. Iv got a lot more to write but its difficult doing so without knowing if people like the story so far at all. Thanks a lot! Children of the Void