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I'll be doing two of these tomorrow since I should have some free time away from my various projects.

The core idea is that it's a recipe for results. "Cookbook" is just the term. Otherwise, what I describe is, as said, rigid and all. Plus it falls into the ideas of Fantastical Science or Science Fantasy. Splitting it would make no difference and be closer to the art variant mentioned if more...

I created this to help out everybody working on magic systems, and I figured, why not post it here and point people to it? Hopefully, it can help you out with whatever you're doing. It's one of the three things I consider when designing a system.

So, my immediate reaction would be to drop this because your grammar is amateur and so I find it annoying to read. Let’s touch up on some basics here with the first sentences. Finally Free, I let out a relived sigh as I walked sluggishly. My feet hurt from a long day of work and my head was...

In your case, I'd put a "no" due to how uncompelling the opening sentences are alone. First, starting with "snap" is a bad idea because you shouldn't do onomatopeia alone like that. To quote what I shared in the past... Second, the prose is boring to read. Let's look at these first three...

It does. Though it isn't anymore hooking. You still have the exact same issue with semi-colons because you're trying too hard to be literary and the character lacks any real hook IMO to invest in him.

I'd require access first. :P You need to set it so anybody can look.

There is no but. Or probably. You're using the semi-colon wrong. Just use a comma or a period. Don't use the semi-colon if you don't know how to use it as a tool. Anyway, if you want to emphasize the character himself first, the character needs to be far more interesting. Personally, I go back...

Hmm... Guess I'm back in business real quick... First, stop using the semi-colon; you're doing it wrong and overusing it. I explain it somewhere in this thread. I recommend going through it unless I turn the lesson into a YouTube short, which... I might do it tomorrow, given how I am. Anyway...

I think I might start doing this again next month, here and there. I had a lot to do late last year, so I had to stop doing this, but I've been preparing some stuff to make this easier. I think I'll need 2 weeks or so first. I'm going to comb through all this and find common issues. I've been...

My suggestion is to not worry about if you destroy it or not. You have no way of knowing to begin with since whether or not it is "good" is subjective. Just focus on addressing whatever problem exists before you as best as you can and have fun while doing it. If it isn't up to par, you can just...

I do it like this.

Tolkien was a better world-builder than a storyteller anyway. I've actually tried to read Lord of the Rings. It wasn't fun.

What type of stories do you already like? If you can name a few specific ones.

I wouldn't stress "hooking readers" too much with prose alone. Though I'm not calling it "unconventional" or anything. I'm just saying it's much more readable. I say work with your natural voice instead of trying to be something you're not since the latter will lead to far more frustration...

Okay, first I just want to say, the opening line snagged me. You massively overuse the semi-colon and examples where there is much better punctuation. For instance... I really like your prose, so I think some of this observation from A Dash of Style on writers who overuse the semi-colon might...

Time for me to stop procrastinating! Alright, being serious, spent last weekend building a PC for the first time and getting a lot set up on it when not working on some stuff in my free time. I've said how much I dislike the LITRPG genre before in this thread, but this one falls into the...

Smut writing itself doesn't suck. It's simply a matter of the skill behind it.

I only do the first chapter though, so I'll have to pass. I'd rather not set a precedent. It has nothing to do with deconstruction bothering me (I'm indifferent to it and often feel aiming for it leads to trying too hard) and I hate most modern isekai (I've said as much earlier in this thread)...

Yes, this new take is even better since it puts the POV with the victims and it comes off as less campy. I figured camp was what you were going for before, though yeah, this works even better and it does exactly what I say in my whole video about hurting the lead. How, if you can't start with...