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Hmm... I'm not sure. Is this technique similar to senjutsu (senin mode) in the Naruto series? Well, at least it's explained through a demonstration in action instead of an info dump delivered by an omniscient narrator. So, narrative-wise, it's pretty immersive.

Dude.. I've read 2 chapters. I want to ask what kind of POV you're using? Is limited third POV? Or is objective third POV? Or is omniscient third POV?

Summon @Hans.Trondheim I once read his answer regarding a problem similar to your case.

Eh... do readers think that way? If so, their priorities might be misplaced. There are even more extreme narratives like murder, r*p*, and genocide, which are often the main conflicts in mainstream stories. Will the author be labeled as glorifying those atrocities simply because they include...

Well, I've read chapter 1. I'll try to be honest and gentle (I guess). To be fair, I'll give you one strength and one weakness of your narrative. (I'm also too lazy to write down every strength and weakness of your narrative. Lol) In general, your narrative is easy to visualize. The atmosphere...

When I first started writing fiction, I wasn't concerned with how many readers would read it; I was concerned with the content of the story, which subverted mainstream tropes. I cared more about what I wrote than what others thought of it.

If you're writing a slow burn focused on a single character, the most important thing is how to make the reader care about the character. Therefore, the opening should be used to introduce your character to the reader. Introduce your protagonist through action, dialogue, and atmosphere so that...

Who are you? Bring back Daeron! :blob_teary:

If you were asking me about engagement in SH, I'd suggest you change your synopsis from a summary of the story to a relatable emotional experience character for the readers. Please use the following formula:

I don't want to turn a fictional narrative into a complicated mathematical statistics table. Lol

Well, not bad, dude. But my fiction here isn't one of those popular fictions that regularly trend.

Oh... you're back. Your patient's been waiting for a long time, dude.

I just sympathize with your fiction, dude. The RR algorithm relies more on recommendations and ads than visibility. My fiction is also struggling on RR without any help, no ads, no review exchanges, just regular chapter releases. Besides, my fiction is quite niche. So, I don't have any good...

Well, good luck. I'll be looking forward to seeing how you transform your narrative into something more in-depth from Lila's perspective. Regards. :blob_melt:

Well, now I'll explain what I felt as a reader when reading chapter 1. Honestly, the atmosphere of your chapter 1 was good. The description of the environment was detailed. I liked it because I felt like I easily entered your story world, the visualization of the environment was very easy to...

Well, I agree with you. The limited third POV is right in line with your narrative goal, where you want the reader to connect with the protagonist. But there's a problem, dude/sis... as a reader, I don't feel connected to your protagonist. I feel like a passive spectator... and furthermore, I...

I got a long comment. Lol