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Did someone say journal story? 👀 PUT ME IN COACH, I'M READY.

Damn, I had different expectations when I clicked this thread.

Well, getting a character walking down the runway with their attire described immediately at the beginning did have me reaching for my red flag in preparation. Also; SARINA? SARINA? SARINA?. I think I found out there's a lady named Sarina in this story. I stopped at about half of the chapter...

I ran a similar thread before, but I eventually likened all my feedback to reading a story for the sake of answering questions for a book essay for english class. Which as you imagine, is not very fun. So, I've now decided to make giving feedback even more fun for me by being completely...