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Just a wee bit of advice btw. The narration should feel like the character. Y'know, voice, tone and phrasing? Things that would reflect Akuma. Narration and character are not the same, at least not really. It's more of a filter. In close third person, the narrator can summarize, compress...

It’s not a dealbreaker, but it does weaken the opening because it asks the reader to process some big abstract lore before they’re grounded in the character or situation. The issue is that there's no real connection yet. If it were tied more directly to Akuma or introduced slightly later, it...

Go for it. Also, if a plot is good, total immersion isn't fully necessary so don't worry about it so much. Some people just like to read something good, not pretend they've put on a VR headset into someone's story.

Ignore Eldoria projecting her hurt feelings onto random strangers like yourself. And ignore Bim being a retard. Well, since someone has decided they like to only focus on how immersive something is, I'll focus on everything else so you can have two halves of a whole feedback. Whether you care...

As a fan of the gargoyles tv show back when I was younger, I can see the appeal. Would I personally want to read it or stories inspired by it? Not really, cause I feel like it's something hard to full off without being compared to popular media. Though, it could do well for people who like...

Ah okay, makes more sense then I think, now that I know 1 and 2 were originally the same chapter as well. I don't get anime references that aren't pre 2013 since I weaned myself off anime in 2012, so not sure what konosuba is, I'll just assume it's profound in some way. And I can understand...

PSA to everyone: Going forward, I'm going to start using colors like the true autist I am. Why? Cause fuck you, that's why. Anyway, back to you, Tycho- First impression: Holy em-dash batman. I mean, congratulations on your committed, long-term relationship. I'm happy for you. But god damn...

I always get the weirdest shit recommended to me.

Anytime~ I like professionally memeing on people in a nice way as much as in a bad way. :blob_salute:

Be a real shame if people derailed my feedback thread. I can't imagine the outcome.

Yeah, we don't really need to discuss it.