You missed out on the exploits of the one star bandit, someone who had the same dreams of one stars just like you
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"I just activated my climb on countertop mode, and then I started to pee-pee, so I paused it."
Me: Sunny day, chasin' the farts away
Kid: No!!!!!
Me: Ride on the magic fartbus
Kid: No!!!!!
Me: Barney is a fartisaur
Kid: No!!!!!
Me: Farthouse detectives
Kid: No!!!!!
Me: Fart, and another fart is
Kid: No!!!!!
Me: Fart, dog, fart dog
Kid: No! You are being a goofball.
Kid playing with his new doctor toy set: "And now I'm going to give you a shot for being a good, healthy human."
do you think your child will grow up to be an author.
I'd like Netflix to have a feature that allows my child to watch only content that I've approved. Alternatively, I'd like to block things before they are released. Please submit a feature request to Netflix if you agree and can spare a few minutes.
Threenager: Leave me alone! *slams door, pushes against door to prevent me from opening it*
Me: I have nipples for you. Would you like me to bring my nipples into the bedroom?
Threenager: Yeah. *moves away from door so I can open it*
Me: *farts*
Kid: You should give me a very big fart to blow me to the bathroom.
Kid: *starts playing with toilet paper*
Me: How much money do you want to spend on toilet paper?
Kid: Forty cents
Me: OK, I'll take that out of your allowance.
He made a penis out of playdough.
The Science Is In: Breastfeeding Beyond Babyhood is Normal - Raised Good
For the most part society accepts young babies breastfeeding. But toddlers - that's a whole other ball game. Here are five reasons it is completely normal.
raisedgood.com
Egg rolls are shaped like penises.
Someone else's kid: This is called a head drill. *sticks head into LEGO bin, rotates head back and forth, pulls head back up* That kinda hurt.
Another someone else's kid: *does it* Yeah, that kinda hurt.
My kid: Let me try! *does it* Oh yeah, that did kinda hurt. -
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