RepresentingCaution

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  RepresentingCaution

• Sep 1, 2025

Husband just went out with the little primate to buy a rodent. I have told him that I will take absolutely no responsibility for the new animal, because I'm already overwhelmed with responsibility for the one we already have. Husband has agreed to these conditions.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Aug 30, 2025

Pillowcase zipper: "Shut my mouth! Shut my mouth! Why is my mouth not closing?"

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  RepresentingCaution

• Aug 30, 2025

The child pulled a small piece of plastic out of the screen door this morning. I closed the screen door as an experiment, and now it will not open. Waiting for Husband to come home to investigate. Also regretting telling him to buy the retractable screen instead of the more expensive all-metal screen.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Aug 27, 2025

Pro tip: Do not keep chocolate chips in the same cabinet as glass jars

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 31, 2025

Nosey child who rarely leaves me alone in the bathroom, and when he does, he usually breaks something: If you keep doing that, you will lose all your blood.
Me: My body is making more blood all the time, and the amount of blood I lose during menstruation is small.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 30, 2025

The kid bought a blank key with his allowance, and now he is begging for a key cutter because we let him watch some videos about how to cut keys. We keep telling him that we can take the key to someone with a key cutter, but he wants to do it himself. Also, he's not going anywhere without his key now.

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  Agentt

• Jul 29, 2025

Huggles

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 23, 2025

The last bite has been eaten.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 22, 2025

The sandwich was put into the refrigerator. He ate almost all of it and decided to put the last bite back into the refrigerator.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 22, 2025

The child put meat between two slices of bread, took a few bites, and told me it tasted yucky. I said it probably wasn't wet enough and made some suggestions. Now it has apricot jam, mayonnaise, and parmesan cheese. The kid has taken many more bites. Now he's rolling on the floor saying, "It tastes so delicious."

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 22, 2025

I put PINs on the adult Netflix accounts where I haven't blocked stuff up the wazoo because the kid figured out that's where all the new stuff that he's never seen before is.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 21, 2025

Child, playing independently: I killed them all! I winned!
Me: What did you winned? Do you get to eat them now?
Child: *ignores me*

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 18, 2025

It is calling me a trampoline and doing "acrobatics" on me while I make sure it doesn't escape before I brush its teeth.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 18, 2025

Child: Look! This ? is dancing! *Chops* I did that to make him not dance.
Me: Please use your knife. That knife is a too big for your hands.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 17, 2025

Me, holding child's ankle: What are we brushing first, your hair or your teeth?
Child, reaching for hula hoop: Weapon, weapon!
Me: You can have your weapon after we're done brushing your teeth and hair.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 17, 2025

Step 1: Sit on the side of your bed while trying to put your clothes on
The toddler will pull you down.
Step 2: Keep sitting up while trying to get dressed
When you are dressed, you have done enough sit-ups.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 13, 2025

Step 1: Sleep
Step 2: Stretch before getting out of bed, legs hanging off side of bed
Your kid now has a slide.

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 11, 2025

Did you know that in 1385, pee-pee just came straight out of their butts?

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  Suzane

• Jul 9, 2025

Hello there! I hope you are doing well.
I am really sorry to message you but I join this site yesterday and I don't know how this site work so and when I scrolled I show your profile that grabbed my attention that's why I messaged you about that and hope you didn't mind about it.
If you don't mind can you guide me something and this message comes to your DM, right? if you use discord please do let me know

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  RepresentingCaution

• Jul 2, 2025

Child: Let's go to the library!
Me: We need to put away the dishes and brush our teeth and hair.
Child: *puts away dishes* OK, let's go! *opens front door.
Me: We still need to brush our teeth and hair. Would you like to brush your own teeth?
Child: No, you do it.