People are feeling artsy today. Good for them.
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Are you jelly, fish?
Me: when describing a situation, you can use whatever words you want so long as it gets the point across.
Also me: *meticulously replaces every use of the words "walk" and "move" with more descriptive words because they're too basic and boring*
Why is it that I can get up at 5 in the morning feeling like I slept on the most comfortable flower bed ever and yet, if I sleep past sunrise even once my body starts aching and I feel like shit?
How do you put words in the spoiler box that I saw you did in the comments of my last post
Books are like onions in at least two separate planes of existence.
To think that there are a lot of people who don't date simply because of their crippling nun fetishes.
The opposite of Microsoft office is Macrohard onfire.
There are no similarities between French Toast and Egg Salad Sandwiches but they both have pretty much the same ingredients. Why are the culinary arts so strange and disturbing?
For those that don't know, the singer of Peanut Butter Jelly Time was killed after an 11 hour stand-off with the police, during which his brother in-law, Snoop Dogg tried to talk him into a surrender.
I like to think that I have good self control but in reality, I've just made enough mistakes to know what limitations are needed to prevent a hellscape from occuring. I'm still really bad at it.
At least once before I die, I want to attempt to bring a live Cod fish on a plane so that I can be blacklisted for illegal cod-traband. I would most likely do this after I have a foot in the grave.
I can't believe that no one remembers the Folgers incest commercials because of James Cameron's Avatar. That was such good meme material but everyone was too busy watching the Blue Man Group perform Pocahontas with aliens.
Pop-tarts are a form of ravioli.
I have made a vow that has yet to be fulfilled. However, I will deliver on my word sometime between tonight and Sunday.
Mime's are to clowns as dogs are to wolves.
Leave it to the French to make a weapon that fires a three round burst but give it a magazine capacity that isn't divisible by three. -
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